One thing I think about a lot in regards to finding a wife is "How can I ask how strict she is on issues of non-monogamy without sounding like a selfish polygamous wife recruiter." It may happen that I find a girl SO amazing that I would never ever dream of anyone but her the rest of my life. But I highly doubt I'm a dynamic enough person for her to feel the same and I think it's certainly a bad risk to take to marry someone who you know is adamantly monogamous. Compounding the awkward factor is I need to marry a Christian and wow I have a needle in a haystack chance of finding an open minded soul mate.
Thoughts?
A piece of advice I read the other day said something along the lines of remember you are looking for a whole person not just someone who aligns with certain bits and pieces of yourself. One of the best and I suppose worst parts of dating is getting to know the other person and learning where your interests opinions and beliefs intertwine. It may take a thousand trys or it might take just one.
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As I get older it is harder and harder to even conceive of the challenges in finding a mate these days.
You know what your many, many untraditional beliefs are and what they mean to you. Maybe there's too many or you're too much of an outlier. There are such things as deal breakers. But if you're honest and not delusional... If you have mental health problems, that, right there, is your priority. If you're depressed or schizophrenic, you can't do anybody much good yet. If you're honest and not delusional, you can find somebody(s). If you hide your untraditional beliefs, not only will you be betraying yourself, not only will they come out eventually, but people can see that there's something about you that doesn't square, and give you more room than you like. You gotta own your beliefs so much that you don't care if your biggest crush mocks you for them. It's a rare man who can pull himself together all at once. Don't just start small, start itty bitty, but start. Make sure you have work and hobbies, have a life whether or not you have romance. Ask strangers for directions or the time, men and women. Don't try to get one thing more. Ask cashiers how their day is going, and listen. Do it hundreds of times. You're not looking to pick women up, or unload your beliefs on people, just to learn to relax.
so you're saying I should just be up front about my MANY MANY untraditional beliefs? I mean there's a LOT more then just nudism and sexual freedom topics.
A main reason I am afraid to get out and meet people, find a social life, a new church, etc [aside from my normal introversion and being horrible at starting conversations] is I'm afraid of rejection once they find out. I feel I need to live a double life and that's horrible.
I'd say rip the bandaid off right away. My experience with being a natural nudist is that it just got harder and harder to bring it up. Beside that, when I finally got around to saying that I was a nudist, she didn't think it was wrong, but she wasn't interested. The business about not being dynamic enough is mistaken, no matter your history. Work on your dynamism 1% at a time, and pretty soon you'll wonder "What was I thinking?"