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In Search of the Final Freedom: Chapter 41 (part 1)

Updated: Apr 4, 2023

A note from the Professor:
The revision for the wrap-up chapter for the girl’s trip has been underway for over two months. What was one chapter that ran about 40 pages is now two chapters that run around 140 pages. Thus, each of the two chapters are way more than the 50-page maximum I’ve set for myself. In the case of this chapter, it runs over 38,000 words, so I’ve broken it into two posts to make it easier to read.
I didn’t add events per se, but there was a lot to say here as I am wrapping up not just the trip, but the foundations upon which the next 35 chapters are built. Perhaps I need to redo the book divisions. In some ways, the content of these next two chapters gets heavier than you had bargained for, but I think they are important to what this project is all about.
I will also apologize in advance there are large sections of chapter 41 that did not lend themselves to illustration (part 2 only has three illustrations); though I think the ones I’ve provided are quite good.
I do hope you enjoy chapter 41.

In Search of the Final Freedom: An Erotic Socio-Political Novel


Raising the Revolutionary Flag of a Sexual Freedom

Chapter 41

Marcy’s Tale

The next morning, the final morning in their beach rental, Bonnie found it strange to find Sarah and Caitlin grabbing a bite to eat wearing their travel clothes. True to their declarations they believed in nudism, as far as Bonnie could recall, it was the first time she’d seen either of them wearing much more than jewelry around the rental house all week. Even still the attire was sure to get them noticed at every stop they made on the way home. Even Bailey, who Sarah had said always dressed in baggy, form-hiding clothes would be pushing the boundaries of legality in conservative north Florida or in Georgia. Then she reminded herself that the mini-skirt (sans panties) and slightly sheer linen halter top she wore might not gather a single look on Miami Beach, but she knew full well she’d get her own admiring (and condemning) stares at every stop on the way home.

Sarah must have noticed Bonnie’s looks and said “Now that we are Euro-Club girls, we have both decided we will dress the part. I suspect that when we go back to school, there will be people who don’t even recognize the new Bailey Hildebrandt.”

All Bonnie could do was agree. It was not just her clothes; it was Bailey herself. She seemed to have come out of a cocoon. Marcy had said that on the phone, DeeDee mentioned the old Bailey had come back. That was a win for sure.

At 9:30, half an hour before they were to vacate the premises, Marcy put the five girls to work cleaning up and ensuring nothing was accidentally left behind. “It doesn’t have to be actually clean, but Trish put down a $500 deposit and I want her to get back every penny.”

As they worked, Bailey asked, “Mrs. C., what do we do with the bulletin board?”

She looked at the corkboard covered in filled condoms and said, “You have to know that we can’t simply leave your trophies on the board. They all need to go in the trash.” Then she amended her directions. “First find Misty and ask if she wants photos of the five of you with your trophies before you start taking them down. My guess is she will.”

Even though Bonnie had thought the condom collection was gross at first, she found herself hating to see it go. She even agreed to be the one to take the photos of the five girls, now all officially Euro-Club members, gathered around the board. Somehow, she knew this photo would go down in lore.

At five till ten, the van was packed, and they paraded the block and a half up the street to where the van was parked.

Marcy was behind the wheel and both Bonnie and Trish had deliberately sat back with the girls in the middle row of seats. The brand-new Ford they had rented from Avis was set up like a tiny bus and was remarkably quiet, that was why Bonnie decided she could do some debriefing as they drove. She wanted to help the girls put all the new experiences they’d had in the past week into the context of their larger lives. She knew that Marcy had finally decided to tell Sarah and the others her own story as both an example and as a warning, but Bonnie first wanted to work the girls up to that. Over the week, Marcy had been dropping more tidbits of that decade and a half she was a sexually free young woman; but Bonnie didn’t even know the outline of the narrative itself. Once they were out of the city and onto the interstate highway, Bonnie asked her daughter. “So? Did you get all the pictures you wanted?”

Misty, who was in the process of transferring all the files from the half-dozen memory cards to her laptop, said “Well, I don’t think I could ever get all the photos I want.”

Bonnie had to laugh. “I guess you are right. Then what didn’t you get that you really wanted.”

Misty didn’t hesitate, “I really wanted to shoot a set of you and Roca really going through with it. After all, you said he made it clear he wanted to have sex with you, not just make out and put the tip of that giant cock in on the beach.”

Bonnie laughed “Oh how I wish…but he is a pro. Even if I had gone with him to his apartment, there is no way he would let you shoot photos of us having sex…. though I’ll confess I really…I mean I REALLY wanted to take him up on his offer to go back to his place for a few hours of sweaty fun. But I made the rule about not going off alone. As much as I wanted to, I was not going to break my own rule.”

Haley, who sat next to Misty on the back row, said “I would have gone with you. At rodeos, I haven’t banged a high school guy in over a year. I know I’ve done it dozens of times with guys his age…though none so hot or with a dick anything like the monster he has.”

Bonnie hesitated. Should she tell the truth? Yes, she should…or at least would. She looked back at Haley who sat behind her. “OK, I’ll confess. I actually thought about giving the van keys to Misty and telling Roca you had recently turned eighteen.” Bonnie took a breath before spewing out “Just visualizing having a threesome with you and Roca literally made my thighs clench with desire. But I wasn’t about to do that. Your mom can pretend she doesn’t know you have sex with adult men, but it would be hard to do so if we were having a threesome. Have you ever considered that is why she is fine with you having sex with Gregg with her in your trailer, but not the cowboys?”

Haley looked at Bonnie. “Yes, I have. But I want to be sure I heard what you said. Did you mean that thinking of having sex with me as well as Roca turned you on? That is so cool.”

While Bonnie tried to think of a way out of the jam her big mouth had just gotten her into, Misty bailed her mother out. “Don’t push her to answer that; but think about it. A month ago, she had a foursome which included a girl who is less than half a year older than you... and a month before that she did it with a guy who hadn’t even graduated from Jeff Davis yet. And in the last two days she has done it with both Zara and Brett. You know you are so smoldering hot everyone who gets around you wants you to choose them….both guys and girls. You know that is true, don’t pretend you don’t. I know full well for the last two years you carefully chose which jocks to screw to ensure you got the reputation as the hottest lay at Jeff Davis. You seem to forget I was the school sports photographer. When you had sex with Jay Driskell in the bed of his monster pickup after the big win over Macon High, you knew…you knew it would be all over school by Monday. We both know that you didn’t do him because you had the hots for him, you did him to let everyone know you could. Then, you did more or less the same thing when you screwed Dwyane LaKay Smith during basketball season. That is why if there is one person at school the cheerleaders hate more than me, it’s you.”

Bailey, who sat with Sarah on the front row, turned back to the older girls and vigorously agreed. “They do. They really hate you.”

Caitlin chimed in “You know that your worth is not just measured by who loves you, but by the kind of people who hate you.”

Misty seconded that and added, “You and I are two peas in a pod and we have the right kind of enemies.”

Bailey surprised Bonnie when she added “Haley, do you know what the football players call you? They call you Beartrap. They call you that because the guys you catch don’t see it coming, then when you get his dick in your pussy, you don’t let go till he is half dead. I spent all spring with the jocks, and they talk a lot. They like to put girls into categories, but you have a category all to yourself. They all know that most of the guys who say they have done you are lying, but you are kind of a legend. They say that you do who you want when you want and no one else. They don’t know what to think of you; but they are sure that once you decide you want a guy, there is no escape till you have gotten all he has to give.”

Haley smiled broadly. Evidently, at least some of that was news to her…and she liked it.

Some time ago, Misty had told her mother that Haley didn’t normally do it with guys from Jeff Davis (other than Gregg & Connie’s boyfriend Devin). She’d said that the exception to the rule was that Haley had deliberately picked out one star player during the past two basketball and football seasons; then she used guile to arrange it so that she was able to give each of the four of them a workout she knew would get her a reputation. While her daughter had told her all that, Bonnie had no idea the plan had actually worked. In some ways, Haley was very odd. On the surface she seemed not to care a wit what people thought of her; she never wore makeup, nor did she make any attempt to dress fashionably and she was completely detached from the social life at Jefferson Davis High. Yet, she had with considerable forethought cultivated a very specific image that emphasized her claim to personal autonomy with one of wanton, even predatory, sexuality. Yes, she was in a category of her own, as Bonnie was sure she had intended. At Bailey’s comment, Bonnie thought about when at the swing club, she had heard Woodie quip that his life was riding surfboards all day and hot bodies all night. She mused that Haley could say the same thing, except that she rode horses by day, not a surfboard.

Haley seemed to be quite pleased with Bailey’s report. “I’ve heard a little of that, but I didn’t know they had a name for me. ‘Beartrap,’ I rather like that.” She seemed to say the word to herself and then said “Yes, I do like it. I’ve been looking for a name to use as a moniker at rodeos. I think starting next week when I’m in Huntsville, I will have myself listed as Haley “Beartrap” Jackson.”

Bonnie was all too happy that Misty and Bailey had pulled the conversation in a new direction. She did not want to admit, even to herself, that Haley had drawn even her into her sensual trap. Yes, Haley was very, very desirable; but Bonnie wasn’t about to say that out loud.

Bonnie decided it was time to launch into the debrief. “Ladies, here is the plan. I know everyone is tired, and likely hungry since we’ve not had more than nibbles as we packed, and we have a twelve-hour drive home. As for food, I wanted to get out of the metro Miami area before we stop. According to Google Maps, there is a Denny’s a little over an hour from here. The working plan is to stop there. As we drive toward home, I have a question for each of you to answer, and I hope we will all benefit from one another’s insights. We have plenty of time if you need time to think, but what I want to know is what have you learned this week. I know we have all learned a lot, but each of us will have come away with something different. It may be that your primary takeaway is about yourself, or about sex in general or about how communities and society treat women’s sexuality. There is no right answer. Some of you will have short answers and others will have longer ones. That’s OK. Once we’ve all shared, Marcy wants to tell the story of her teenage life with us.”

Bonnie looked between the seats to Sarah who sat in the seat directly in front of her. “A few months ago you asked your mother to tell you about her experiences with sex when she was your age. At the time she was not prepared to answer, but she has not forgotten you’d asked. Later, Trish will take the wheel and your mother will come back here to tell you, and the rest of us, her story.” She then directed a final comment to all five girls. Though she’d said this before, she knew it was too important not to repeat. “The other thing I want all of you to do before we get home is to go through your cell phone and delete any photos you should not have. If you have any questions what is OK and what is not, I’ll be glad to help. And, those you delete, make sure they are also deleted from your cloud backup. My advice is that on the way home, any photos that show nudity of you or anyone else, even if it is perfectly legal, should be taken off your phone and your phone’s cloud backup and put on a laptop. Misty has agreed to curate a combined archive of photos that she will make available to you all, so the best thing to do is to move all your trip photos to her laptop. The plan is, she will work the whole drive home to be able to give Caitlin, Bailey, and Haley a thumb drive of all the legally safe images that contain your photo before we get home. Yes, topless and nude photos of you all from the beach are legal, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t be used against you or anyone contained in it if somehow, they get sent to someone outside this group. According to Red from the Guild, you can encrypt and password photo files as a protection against misuse if you do send one in an email. Also remember that since the photos overlap, you will have many topless and nude photos of your friends. You should not share them with anyone without the permission of everyone included. While Trish and I give you blanket permission to share photos that include images of us; you can’t give anyone a copy of any file that shows Mrs. Marshal, even if she is fully clothed. You have to understand the consequences to her job if those pictures go public.”

From the driver’s seat Marcy made an announcement “I am strongly considering making this my last year at Jeff Davis; however, if the wrong photos start circulating it may well preclude me from even doing that. I realize we have no idea how many people took photos of us this week; but I’m counting on the fact that with all you hot young things parading around like you did, no one was desperate enough to try to get a close-up of me.”

There were some laughs, but all nodded in agreement. Marcy’s declaration that she might stop teaching was news to Bonnie, though given all her talk about returning to who she was before she got married; it was not a surprise. And of course, Marcy had never taught at the high school for the money.

After a pause for comments, Bonnie asked “Any questions with the plan?”

Without any, Bonnie said “I’d already told Trish what we were going to do, so she is prepared to go first.” She turned to Trish who sat beside her. “You’re on.”

All eyes went to Trish as she began.

“Before I say anything else, I want to thank all five of you girls. It may be hard for you to understand, but this week you have supported and helped me more than you know. I may be nearly forty, but this week has been transformative for me, sort of a coming out and you five have embraced me not as a crazy old woman, but as a friend and peer. That second day, when I agreed to have sex with Franklin, the only concern I had was that you guys would be grossed out by seeing me having sex in front of you.”

“Grossed out?” Haley said “You were hot as fuck.”

Bailey added “I wasn’t there that time, but last night I couldn’t stop watching you while you, Stephen and Red went on and on. Why do you think I wanted them to do me later on.”

Trish smiled “Thank you.” Then she turned to Bonnie “And before you ask, literally as they were leaving, Brett pinned me up against the front door. So I did what I said, over the week, I had sex with all six of the guild guys as well as Kimi and Zara.”

Bonnie shook her head “I wasn’t going to ask. But I was wondering.”

Haley added “She wasn’t the only one to have sex with all eight of them. Over the week, I did it with all of them as well.”

Misty seconded “So did I.”

Trish reached out to touch Misty on the shoulder “That is what I’m saying. You guys took me in as if I were one of you. I want you to know, I owe you a debt and if there is anything I can do for you, you have a second home with me. As most of you know, my new house on the lake is almost done. When it is, you have a permanently open door.”

Bonnie could see the girls were both gratified and a little embarrassed by Trish’s heartfelt gratitude.

“Of course, you all know those six guys weren’t even half of the men I screwed this week” Trish continued. “In seven days, I crammed in what for most women would be a lifetime of sleeping around. Other than a somewhat sore pussy, I came away with some important lessons. I’ll just tell you two of them right now. One lesson I want to tell you is about me and the person I want to be. The other is about how I want to guide my son as he becomes a young man.”

Bonnie thought “This is a good start.”

“You see when I was in high school, I never had sex even once. I didn’t even come close. I was afraid. I was afraid I wasn’t pretty enough to be wanted. I was afraid guys would think my body was gross if they saw me naked. I was afraid of getting humiliated if I wasn’t any good at sex. It wasn’t until last summer when I was with my family at the beach did I finally consider that perhaps I wasn’t so ugly. As some of you know I went with Byron and my mother to Savana. Would you believe I didn’t even own a true bikini until that trip? That week, I bought a bikini and when I worked up the nerve to wear it at the beach; I found that if I gave them a chance men wanted to look at me. I found that my body was good enough for me to attract a very handsome and successful man with whom I had a brief but intense affair right under my mother’s nose. It was only during that trip that I finally accepted that men could find me desirable. Then, as all of you know, just a couple of months ago, Misty’s father taught me what real love making is all about. It has been so hard for me to take charge of my sexuality. I was still letting others set the agenda. Even before we got here, Sherry Connors and I had several long talks and she challenged me to take this opportunity to play the role of the person I wanted to be rather than the role that the circumstances of life have forced on me.”

She looked at Bonnie “A little bird told me that you have been wondering what had happened to the Trish Simms you know. The answer is, I left her back in Sparta. What you have seen this week is who fifteen-year-old Trish Martin wanted to be, what twenty-five-year-old Trish Simms wanted to be.” She looked up to where Marcy was driving “Marcy, you helped a lot. I don’t know I would have had the courage without you. If you hadn’t been there, I never would have invited Hans and Otto to our place. Never in a million years. But once I’d screwed two men I’d just met that day, I was able to go forward. Each step, each time I played the role of a wanton man-eater, the more I found that person was me. The swing club made it easy to proposition strangers, and I did…repeatedly. Though the sex was fun for sure, what I was really doing was convincing myself I could indeed actively seek out my own pleasure. That is why it seemed like every time you turned around, I had spread my legs for another man. I knew I only had this week. So, what I learned on this trip was that I can be the woman I’ve always wanted to be. No, I won’t be on the prowl every night in Sparta. No girls, I won’t be seducing your boyfriends…. well not until they are eighteen.”

That garnered a laugh from Haley who said “Oh, you wouldn’t have to seduce Gregg. After he sees the photos from this week, he will be at your heels begging.”

That got more laughs.

“I will, however, continue with Cooper.” She again turned to the front of the van “and if you don’t mind Marcy, I’d like to come by your place perhaps a couple of times a month to see your husband too.”

From the driver’s seat Marcy replied “He’d love that. And so would I.”

Trish looked to the girls “You five helped me as much as anyone. Each of you are exactly the kind of girl I’d wanted to be. I’ll confess, deep in my heart, I’m a little jealous that you have been able to achieve what I could not… until now. And that brings me to the other thing I learned…and this was entirely due to you girls. You demonstrated with the Guild boys and with Zac and Mitch that teenage boys can be freed both from the corrosive Purity Culture and from abusive machismo. You showed that Byron does not have to choose between sexual repression and sexual exploitation. I’d been struggling with how to present free-love to him in a way that would not turn girls into notches on a bed post.”

Trish looked right at Haley “I would like to spend some time with you and your mother in the next few weeks. I’d like your help in working out how you have learned to tame even the most macho men to respect you. I would like to work out how I can teach Byron that girls can maintain their personal autonomy even while he has recreational sex with them.”

Bonnie put in “That’s a great idea. If you don’t mind, when I get back from my trip to seem my parents, since Lamar and Byron are the same age, I’d love to be part of that conversation.”

Haley seemed to be taken off guard by their request. “Sure. I’ll let Mom know.”

Sarah jumped in “Mrs. Simms, I bet Bailey and I can help teach them how to act.”

From the driver’s seat, Marcy said, “Oh boy! That’s just what Trish wants to hear. We all know your very hands-on method of teaching sexual respect.”

The van erupted with laughter.

Bailey wasn’t intimidated “Byron is cute. I wouldn’t mind teaching him one bit and I’d use more than just my hands.”

Again, the van broke up.

Bonnie took that opportunity to say “Well Bailey, unless Trish has more to add, you can go next.”

Bailey perked up. “Sure, I can do that.” She waited for everyone to turn to her before starting. “You all already know that I’ve learned that I can own my own body and expect for guys to treat me right. So, I won’t go back over that. Don’t think me full of myself, but I keep looking at the photos Misty took of me that first time I wore my new bikini bottoms on South Beach. It’s just hard for me to believe that’s me.” She then turned to Misty “Oh, my mother raved about the photos. And I guess that is the other thing I’ve learned: my mother wants to be way more supportive than she’s been. It’s like this trip has given her the opening to say things she’s not known how to say. But it was the pictures that really did it. Rather than freaking out at pics of me topless at the beach, even the ones of me holding the hand of a boy she knows I’m screwing, she was excited. My mom has a few, not very many, photos of herself when she was in high school. Not in a bikini because her mother wouldn’t let her wear one; but from the pictures I’ve seen, I can tell that I look a lot like her when she was my age, and she had my figure too. Now, she’s….well she still has the big boobs, but the rest of her has kinda rounded out. Not that she’s huge by any stretch. If she packaged it right, she could still turn heads, but she doesn’t even try. What I’ve learned is that I don’t think my mom wants to be who she is….or has become. Sort of like what Mrs. Simms said, but way worse.”

Bonnie asked “What makes you say that?”

As Bailey seemed to be trying to find the words, from the driver’s seat, Marcy said “I think she is right. When I’ve talked to DeeDee, she sounds like she’s wanting to leap out of the role she’s stuck in; but all she thinks she can do is to encourage Bailey not to make the choices she did. Though I have no idea what those choices actually were; it sounded like a mix of things she wished she’d done but didn’t and things she was pushed into by circumstances. But those are just my impressions.”

Heads turned back to Bailey. It took a moment then slowly she said “I think I know what Mrs. Marshal is talking about, at least the basic things. There is a lot I don’t know, but from my sister and cousins, the stuff Mom has let slip over the past few years and from going to court; I’ve pieced together what happened. When my mom got married, she was in her senior year of nursing school. She already was like four months pregnant and from what I’ve overheard her telling other people; her parents made her get married to the baby’s father regardless of what she wanted. They never had a very good relationship. I remember a lot of fighting. Then when I was in third grade my parents got divorced; but, it turns out that my dad isn’t really my dad. That is why mom and I moved from Macon to Sparta. Nobody I’ve talked to knows the details, and Mom has never talked about any of it to me. All I know is for some reason my dad took some strands from my hairbrush and got a DNA test done. When he found out he is not my biological father, he kicked mom and me out that very day. He’s never talked to me since.”

Bonnie gasped “Oh my God!” followed by Haley “What a fuck’n bastard”

Sarah wrapped her arms around her best friend.

Bailey went on “I’m sorry I’ve never told you the real reason we moved here. My biological father is a doctor at the Macon Regional Hospital where mom worked at the time. When it all came out, my mom tried to get child support from my biological father, and he fought back. His lawyers were able to keep him from taking a DNA test for over a year, and in that time, he did her best to ruin her reputation. When she refused to drop the case for child support, two of his doctor friends submitted affidavits that she’d also had sex with them. That is what got her fired. I don’t know all the details, but what I heard in court was that the hospital had sworn testimony that she’d had sex at the hospital while on duty, dozens of times, so they had grounds to fire her. Of course, nothing happened to the doctors she’d had affairs with….and yes, in her deposition she admitted she’d had affairs with two other doctors and casual sex with several more. From what I’ve overheard her say to her close friends, I think she was the resident hot nurse who was more or less passed around by the hospital’s doctors. Naturally, none of them were punished in any way. That is why we had to leave Macon and move here. No hospital or private practice would hire her anywhere in the county because my biological father’s friends were helping him pressure her to drop her child support claim. I’ve been to court on and off for years.”

Bonnie was dumbfounded. She rarely was at a total loss for words, but at that moment she was. She had no idea what she should say.

Bailey went on “To make it even worse, my grandparents are members of the Church of God. Growing up, Mom wasn’t ever allowed to even go to the beach or to wear shorts or even makeup. That is why Mom was pushed into marrying my fake dad by her parents and the church. I think she’d wanted to raise my sister by herself because she knew my sister’s father is a jerk. When it got around town that my mom was the hospital whore, Granma kept pressuring her to publicly confess her sins to the church and things got really tense between them. Like I said the other day, she has never directly told me anything about her affairs. She doesn’t deny she had them; but when she talks to me, it is like none of that part even exists. All I hear about is the lawyers and the other crap that never ends. Two years after we moved here, she got let go from the Handcock County Hospital after word got to someone there about what had happened in Macon. She suspects my biological father, who the month before had been ordered to pay over ten years of back child support was behind it; but she doesn’t have any sort of proof. Now she does private health care. It doesn’t pay as much and she gets no benefits, but it’s all she could get. It’s like at every turn life just dumps on her. Though since he was made to pay up, we have been better off financially; but we have had some really hard times. I spent years on free-lunch with all the stigma that goes with that. Mom has really felt like a failure as a parent because of it. I guess my biological father is rich and so I have a pretty nice trust fund. The only time I’ve ever seen him is at court. He want’s nothing to do with me either.”

Bonnie found tears running down her cheeks.

Angrily, Haley said, “Serves the fucker right, I hope he has to keep paying.”

Bailey was looking down and said “Yea, he will. You see my mom finally wised up and got a good lawyer. In addition to the regular child support, he will have to pay half of all my college expenses, not just tuition, but of everything even if I go on to graduate school. He really, really hates my mother…and I think he hates me too.”

Everyone else sat quietly. Sarah was openly crying.

In the quiet that followed, Bonnie heard Sarah whisper “I love you so much” several times.

They drove a good while without anyone speaking. Finally, Bailey said, “That was the way things stood when I met Kevin. Mom had put me on birth control after my sister had some sort of crisis almost a year before that; but she never talked to me about anything to do with how to have a healthy relationship let alone about sex. And like Sarah and I told you, Mom has known we been having sex in my room at home for several years. That is because a couple of times she didn’t know we were there when she opened my door. Back in the fall, one Sunday she came into my room with a stack of laundry; Sarah and I were on the bed naked. She was eating me out. Mom was so shocked it took her a couple of seconds to respond. I looked up and we looked right at each other before she backed out of my room and shut the door. She never mentioned what she saw. For her, just pretending things don’t exist seems to be her way of coping. So, after that, there was no question she understood we were lovers. Over the next few weeks, she talked a lot about how glad she was that I had a friend like Sara; but never what she saw. I actually think she was hoping I was a lesbian so I wouldn’t have to deal with guys.”

“When I started going out with Kevin, she seemed to support me. I’m sure she knew we were screwing since we did it at my house a lot. But after the big blow-up, when I got home, I broke down and told her everything like in a flood. I couldn’t stop talking. I told her how he’d pushed me into having sex with him right after we started dating, how he’d been treating me and all the things he had done at the party. The anger I saw in her really scared me. I’d never seen her like that, she was in a rage and threw a vase at the wall. At first, I thought it was me she was angry at; but she assured me it was Kevin she wanted to kill. She hugged me really, I mean really tight for the longest time crying and saying she was so sorry. She never said why she was sorry, but several more times she said the same thing. It wasn’t until Mrs. Marshal called her about this trip that something changed. I really don’t understand what. But this morning she sent me a text, and…” Bailey took out her phone and began to read. She only made it to the second sentence before she couldn’t read any more. She handed the phone to Sarah who read out loud:

I am so happy to hear you are having a wonderful time. I talked to Mrs. Marshal and I have a good idea all the things you guys have been doing. I want you to know you can tell me EVERYTHING. You don’t know it, but thanks to Sarah and her mother, you are living the life I would have lived if I could have. I am so happy for you. I know that over the past years that I have hidden so much from you. I only did it to protect you. But, if you will trust me to tell me of your new and wonderful life, I will tell you of both the life I’d hoped to have, and if you want, the truth (the whole truth) about how I (we) got to where we are. I know you have paid a high price for my mistakes, but maybe together we can both have the life we want and deserve. I love you more than life itself. Mom.

By the time Sarah made it to the last line, tears were running down Bonnie’s cheeks. She wasn’t alone. Caitlin came from her seat behind Bonnie and wrapped her arms around Bailey. They both sobbed. Bonnie understood what that was about. And once again it was clear to her that the group was having a profound impact on everyone they touched. She could not help but think of Zac, Mitch and the Silverfire Guild kids and wonder how their group might affect their life trajectory. Or was she deluding herself and that it would not have any impact at all. She had no way of knowing.

They drove another half an hour with very little talking before Marcy pulled off the interstate to fill the van with fuel and to eat. Sarah and Bailey were the first to exit through the side door. As Bonnie made her way out, she could tell what the two girls had noticed as she did so. When Misty followed Trish out onto the parking lot of the combination Truckstop/restaurant Sarah, rather loudly, said “I heard your mother tell you to wear panties under your dress, but guess who didn’t take her own advice?”

Bonnie came back with “Misty is not wearing a dress, but a long shirt. While I am wearing an actual skirt and that makes a difference.”

Sarah’s retort was, “It isn’t a matter of what you call it, all that matters is that anyone looking this way when you got out of the van got a good look at your cochie. Both Bailey and I did.”

Bailey added “And Mrs. Simms’ too. Not that we minded. I think you both look very sexy like that.”

Before Bonnie could make a retort, Sarah added “Sure Misty’s little thong didn’t really do more the make hers look yummier, but at least she did what you said.”

Bonnie had no defense to offer. The girls were right. Marcy took the focus from her flimsy rationalizing when she said, “From my freshman year of high school, till I finished college, when it was warm enough to wear them, I pretty much wore a miniskirt or mini dress every day. And, the vast majority of the time I went bare underneath.”

While to Bonnie this was a huge revelation, to her daughter it seemed just a matter of fashion. She did however ask her mother “Were you allowed to wear miniskirts to school back then?”

Marcy laughed, “I didn’t grow up in Georgia. I was in a suburb of Chicago. Yes, I could wear a miniskirt, but in the first month or so of 9th grade, I got sent to the office because a teacher saw I wasn’t wearing panties.”

“What happened?” her daughter asked.

Marcy laughed “I’d planned ahead. By the time I arrived at the office with the note for the vice principal, I’d taken the beige panties I carried in my purse for that very reason; and put them on right in the hallway. Nobody saw me do it. I was made to pull up for a secretary, and well, it appeared the teacher had falsely accused me.”

The girls got a big laugh out of that. As Bonnie opened the restaurant door, Marcy added “After that I was more careful, and never got caught…unless I wanted to.”

Bonnie had chosen Denny’s because she knew they had big “corner tables that would accommodate all eight of them. There was no question they created a stir as they made their way through the busy restaurant. Unlike the beach though, not all the eyes were friendly. There were more than a few very angry looking faces. There were several leers, which was something they had not seen in Miami Beach or Key Largo no matter how much of their bodies they showed. Though she expected at least one of her party to cower under the attention, not a single one did; not even Bailey. Bonnie would have loved to praise herself for the girl’s transformation, but she knew that the metal in her spine had come from her own mother even if Bailey didn’t see it now. One day she would.

She deliberately took the center position so the girls and women were arrayed around her.

She wanted to bring the mood up, so as soon as all eight were seated she ask “Now is somebody going to tell me what happened yesterday afternoon that prompted my bed to get filled with bodies, then left with semen spread all over it?”

Sarah, who had been left out of the big orgy, added “And why didn’t you leave any room for me and Bailey?”

Haley, not surprisingly, was the one to answer. “Did you ask for us to make room?”

Sarah shook her head “No.”

“OK then. Don’t complain. I’m not even sure when you came upstairs. We would have made room if you had asked.”

Sarah agreed “Yea, I know. I’m sure you would have.”

Haley turned back to Bonnie to say “How did it start? I don’t know exactly. By the time any of us…” she indicated herself, Caitlin and Misty, “made it upstairs, most of the Guild people were already in the bed going at it. Most of them hadn’t been in a bed with mirrors like that before. So we just shed our clothes and jumped in. And what happened. Well, it was like an all-you-can-eat cafeteria where everything was available right in front of us. We could have whatever we wanted; but in order to try everything we couldn’t allow ourselves to fill up on just one dish. It wasn’t like we had a time keeper like speed dating or anything like that; but as each little grouping broke up, that sent a ripple around the bed rearranging who was doing what to who.”

Misty put in “Yes. That was exactly what it was like. As far as I could tell, no one was like in charge; it all just happened spontaneously. Afterward we all talked and none of us had ever done anything like that. A good part of the time I could feel hands or lips on me, but I had no idea who they belonged to.”

Haley clarified “Not just on us, but in us. I have no idea who put their fingers, tongue or dick in me. Perhaps everybody did. A big part of the whole experience was that I didn’t know, and didn’t look to find out. That is why we didn’t use condoms. But Mrs. C., you know we are all on birth control and those guild guys have had virtually zero partners other than those of us in that room.”

Bonnie nodded “I know and I’m not going to scold you. Though that situation where you have six guys who had virtually all their sexual experience inside a closed loop is likely one that you will never again find yourself in. So, just because I don’t berate you for this one time doesn’t mean you should do it again.”

All three girls nodded. Caitlin spoke up “As to the semen, I’ll confess, things were just so… fluid….”

Marcy broke in to quip “Yea, fluid. I’m sure fluids were all over everyone.” She and Bonnie and Haley all laughed, but it took the others a moment to catch on.

Caitlin just smiled and shook her head. “No, not like that. I meant fluid in the sense of ever changing. Nobody seemed to get a chance to think about, let alone get any condoms from the other room.”

Misty put in “But Mrs. Marshal is also right. The whole thing was about fluids in the sense that we were all covered with bodily fluids by the end. Pretty much whatever the guys squirted into one vagina, came back out when the next guy put his dick in her, along with all the girl’s juice … and we were all sweating as well. Then as we switched around, it all blended together and was all over everyone. I know after the rest of you went downstairs, I was super sticky the whole time I shot photos of Mom and Mrs. Marshal.”

Bonnie had to laugh. It was just so insane: funny insane. Yet, she knew they would all remember that afternoon for the rest of their lives.

Marcy agreed, “Yea. Even when I was with Squirrel, his mouth, skin and penis all tasted like sex; and we didn’t start till a good while after the orgy broke up. But, in the days before condoms became the norm, that was how all orgies were. So I was not surprised Squirrel tasted like mixed cum, pussy and sweat. I remember my first big pile like that. I was younger than any of you. We all got bodily fluids all over us just like you all did. It is just one of the wonderful parts of group gropes. Did you guys take a group shower afterward?”

Again, Bonnie noted that Marcy made reference to a sex life as a teen that seemed… well very active.

Haley said “Yea. But it was in groups, some of us stayed and watched Brett butt fuck Mrs. C. before we piled into the shower downstairs.”

Bonnie couldn’t help but cringe at Haley’s words.

“You know, all this has brought back so many fond memories of my teen years” Marcy said with an air of nostalgia.

As Bonnie thought on how Marcy had dropped yet another vignette about her prior life, the middle-aged waitress showed up with menus and glasses of water.

When she left Bonnie said to the crew “This is not Miami Beach, we will need to keep our voices low. If we talk too loud in places like this we could get thrown out.”

Trish added “Getting thrown out isn’t the worst thing that could happen to us in a town like this.”

Since they lived in the rural South, the girls knew exactly what Mrs. C. and Mrs. Simms were saying. They felt relieved when almost as soon as Marcy had issued her warning, a rough looking trucker and ‘his woman’ took the booth right behind them.

Misty said “You are right. Though I guess we should tell you that, last night, while we used a few condoms, most of the time we didn’t. Yesterday was the first time I’ve had sex without one. I can see why some people resist using them.”

Bonnie replied “Like I said I’m not going to scold you. That bulletin board was testament that you guys were really good about condom use. But, just remember, none of your birth control methods are perfect, and you simply can’t be too careful with life-long diseases or pregnancy. Not at your age.”

Bailey said “I’ve promised not to tell the actual story, so I won’t tell what happened or how; but my big sister found out the hard way that using condoms is a must.”

Bonnie thought Bailey’s family had quite a history of challenges. She was glad that the mother had reached out to Marcy. She however, decided to move away from that topic. To Misty she queried “So, did you have another group grope after we came back from the beach last night?”

Misty said “Not really, but you have to know that when you said the Guild had to be gone by 2:00, and you wanted us actually to be asleep by 2:15 so we could get up early; you put a timer on us. That sort of gave everyone the feeling that we couldn’t waste any time.”

Bailey put in “Mrs. Marshal came down at 1:30 to tell us we only had a half an hour to wrap things up.”

“OH?” Bonnie said looking over to Marcy. “I didn’t know you got out of bed. So may I assume you joined in?”

“No you may not” Marcy said firmly. “I only stayed down to ensure they wrapped up when you said to.”

Sarah smiled and said “It is true Mom didn’t touch any of the guys; BUT, as the Guild got ready to leave, she and Zara kissed long enough and with enough…other components… to count as making out while standing.”

Marcy just shrugged.

Haley with a smile said “We ended on time. Watching Brett do Mrs. Simms up against the front door after he’d gotten dressed was the very last thing.”

Sarah added “As Mom kept making out with Zara.”

Bonnie did not respond to that comment but instead turned to Trish.

Trish returned her gaze with a defiant look. “I said I was going to do it with all six of those boys and I’d been too…uh…busy until then to get to Brett. So I just stood in front of the door and said he had to do me or he couldn’t leave.”

Misty explained “It was really, really funny. We all knew she was putting on a little performance of her own and he could have left if he’d wanted to.”

Sarah jumped in “He wanted to all right. The problem was, Brett had cum a couple of times already and he was soft.”

It was Bailey’s turn to show how far she’d come in a week “So I played fluffer and was able to get him up in operating order in just a couple of minutes. I even put a condom on him.”

Sarah again noted, “Mom and Zara were making out the whole time. By then she’d gotten Zara’s shirt up to suck her nipples and her pants open enough to finger her.”

Marcy again shrugged.

Misty went on “Brett didn’t stay hard all that long, and didn’t cum; but Mrs. Simms did what she said she would do. Over the week, she fucked all six of the Silverfire guys. And I’ll confess, I was impressed with her flexibility when they were screwing there by the door. Not that I’m saying she’s old, but I was impressed.”

Sarah had to have the last word “Brett didn’t cum; but I know that Mom got Zara off for sure. When she pulled her shorts back up, the fabric at Zara’s crotch was soaked.

This time Marcy smiled and said “Yea, her pants were wet all right. And to be truthful, I’m pretty sure there was a little puddle on the floor between my legs. Still, the whole thing took less than ten minutes. I looked at the clock, they all were gone by five after two.”

There was more happy laughter.

Marcy laughed too, then added, “You guys don’t know how tempted I was to ask Haley to go down on me so I could get off. As it was I had to do it myself before I could go to sleep.”

With another laugh, Haley said “You know I would have been more than happy to have done you.”

Continuing with her joviality, “I had no doubt you would have. That’s why I didn’t ask.”

Bonnie was pleased how lighthearted all of this was to the girls. But to give Marcy some defense she looked at Sarah “I noticed you didn’t say anything about what you did to participate last night?”

Bailey surprised Bonnie with her quick response before Sarah had a chance. “We are now Euro-Club girls, so of course we participated…completely.”

“Completely. That’s a polite way to put it” Bonnie said.

“What she means” Haley said “is that she fucked her brains out with a couple of the guys right in front of all of us.”

“Yes Haley,” Bonnie replied “I understood what she meant.”

Haley, undeterred went on “We all got to see Red in her ass while Stephen was in her pussy while she and Caitlin kissed and fondled each other. When the guys blew their loads, she and Caitlin did each other really good until they both came big time. It was all quite an energetic performance. I got super turned on just watching.”

She got several seconds to that.

Bailey didn’t cringe at all, but rather said “I am very happy to hear you liked watching; but doing it was way better.”

Caitlin seconded her on that.

After congratulating Bailey about not allowing herself to be shamed, Bonnie went back to asking Sarah about her participation. It turned out Sarah was eager to tell how she’d had Squirrel repeat with her everything she’d watched him do with her mother in the afternoon. Bonnie wasn’t sure how to read Marcy’s response to her daughter’s rather explicit joint description of what she’d seen her mother do then how she’d mirrored it. Instead, Bonnie asked, “and what about you and Brett out at the beach?”

“Oh, that was no big deal. I just sat on his dick while we all talked. It felt good in me of course.” She stopped to look at her mom “Did I tell you how much I liked the feel of a dick in my pussy?”

Everyone laughed. Even Marcy managed to smile.

“But neither of us came or anything. Like I said it was no big deal.”

To Bonnie, Sarah’s sincere belief that simply putting a guy’s dick in her vagina was ‘no big deal’ was in itself quite a big deal.

As they ate lunch different people shared about the night before and then went on to recounting amorous couplings from the trip that had not been as public. All the girls had a story of clandestine or quicky sex with different members of the Guild. Marcy told the girls of the three mom’s tryst on the dark beach the night before, after which Caitlin said she and Stephen had done the same. “It was like something out of an old movie, making love with the water just coming to our feet. After that first afternoon, sex with him got better each time we did it. Last night on the beach, in the dark, we were truly making love. I will admit I like him a lot, but I certainly don’t love him. However, he is totally besotted with me and it showed best last night when it was just the two of us in the surf. Later on, in the foursome with Bailey it was fun, but the real joy of that was being with Bailey, not Stephen or Red. I hope it doesn’t sound crass, but last night in the common room, the boys were incidental…at least for me. I think Bailey having both of them do her at once had more of an impact.”

Baily smiled broadly “Oh yea, I was impacted so much I’m still a little sensitive down there.”

There was laughter.

Marcy beat Bonnie to respond. “You will find as you open yourself to both love and to casual sex that not everyone you have sex with will matter in a deep way. That is OK. You can’t let that bother you. It is inevitable and the truth is once most guys get turned on, they don’t really care if you love them or not.”

Bonnie thought that sounded so cold; but she knew Marcy was right.

As the girls talked, she realized there had been more going on than Bonnie had seen or heard about; but she reasoned these were teenagers in a sexualized environment with full permission (and perhaps a little encouragement) to explore their desires to the fullest.

Multiple times she had to warn them about talking too loudly.

The story that was the most entertaining was not from one of the girls. Trish’s story of propositioning the boat Captain on the way back from snorkeling took everyone by surprise since no one had any idea.

Trish explained “He’d been pretty shamelessly watching me the entire trip. When we lined up to get our snorkeling gear, he called me over to help me put mine on himself. Well, I didn’t do anything to discourage him. Nope. I actually told him that on the way back I’d come up to the cockpit to see him, which I did. I flirted shamelessly and since I was virtually naked, my meanings were pretty clear. I even found an excuse to lean over so my breasts rubbed on his arm. After that I knew I had him.”

Bonnie just shook her head “You really are bad.”

Haley shot back “No, she’s wonderful. My mom will love the new you. I know I do.”

Trish bowed her head and said “Thank you Haley. Now, as I was saying. It was just a matter of getting out of the clear view of those three families. After all, had it just been us, I’d have crawled up on his chair and spread my legs for him to do me right in the cockpit.”

“Yes, I’m sure you would have” Bonnie commented.

“I was just making busy talk to keep his attention when he told me that his new boat was equipped to take up to six passengers for three-night trips without resupply. That was my opening. I whispered in his ear ‘does that mean there are beds down below?’ I thought he’d gotten my meaning before, but with that, he began to choke.”

That got laughs.

“I was on a hunt to get laid and I had planned ahead. I pulled the front of my little thong forward and pulled out the condom I’d put there right before going up to the cockpit.”

The girls just fell apart. “You had a condom in your bikini!?” Misty choked out through her laughter.

Bailey asked “But that thong you were wearing was so small? How did you get a condom packet in there without it showing?”

Trish smiled broadly. “I didn’t say a condom packet. You are right, my bottoms were too small for that. I had just the condom itself. I’d removed it from the wrapper and just put the rolled condom itself between my labial lips. When I pulled it from my bikini his eyes and his shorts bulged.”

More laughter.

“Oh it gets better. He led me down the steps and into the right hull. There is a short passage then a cabin. Even before we were fully inside the door, I pulled one of the bows on my thong, so it fell right off me as I walked. I was already fully naked when he turned around. When he saw that, I think it actually scared him. I am sure that until then he thought he was in the lead. I disabused him of that notion. First, he repeatedly told me that he had never done this with a passenger before. Which I didn’t believe. Then he shifted and began to say we would have to be quiet so as not to be heard on deck. I wrapped my arms around him pulling him hard against me. Then I whispered in his ear that I promised I would keep his mouth full to prevent him from making noise. With that, I rammed my tongue down his throat. As I kept that up, then fed him each of my nipples, I was able to get his pants off. He offered no resistance when I pushed him down on the bed. I crawled up beside him and whispered in his ear that I was going to cover his mouth with my pussy and I expected he would make it worth my time. Straddling his head, I did. Sitting on his face, I went to work sucking his dick. We did sixty-nine until I started to taste pre-cum. Before he could climax, I put the condom on and reversed myself to ride him. As before, I kept his mouth covered with mine and we kissed hard until I felt him cumming. Only when he’d cum did I take my mouth from his so I could bang on him, which I did until he got too soft to keep his dick in me. When he finally fell out, I kissed him again and thanked him. I just left him there on the bed; picking up my thong, I shut the door behind me. I don’t suppose I was in the cabin but ten or at most fifteen minutes. I didn’t cum or anything like that, but I didn’t expect to. It was the point of doing it that made it fun. Perhaps that is my big lesson of the trip: naughty sex is fun just because it is… well naughty.”

The girls loved the story. Bonnie had to admit she loved the story too.

In order to not appear aloof, Bonnie told the group how Zara and she had their mutual masturbation session after she’d watched Misty have sex in the shower. She was right up front she’d tried to entice Zara to join her in the bed right then, but failed. “When we did make love a few days later, it was really extraordinary. There is something special about her sensuousness that made my time with her one of the things I will most fondly remember from this trip.” She almost did not say it, but she added “I am so glad Misty took those photos. Decades from now I’ll look at them and remember Zara Mahajan and have a warm feeling in my heart.”

Her words seemed to be meaningful to the teens. Perhaps they had not thought of this week over time and how their photos (at least the ones she let them keep) will matter more as the years pass.

Marcy agreed with Bonnie about Zara. “Sarah is right. It is true, last night Zara and I effectively made love standing up. Once we’d started kissing, it was like I forgot I was in a room full of people. Within seconds, I was lost in her spell. It is the same thing that happened the night before. I can’t believe she is only eighteen. There is just something about her.”

One by one every single person at the table repeated the same general theme. Then the five teens and three adults compared notes. They had all made love to Zara. She was the only one of the Guild with whom they all had sex. Had it been one of the guys they’d all been with, it would have been a bit creepy; but somehow, it just seemed a wonderful thing that all eight of them had intimate time with that extraordinary young woman.

As they talked, they realized there had been a more thorough mixing of the Georgia group and the Silverfire Guild than any had quite realized. It seems that Bonnie was the only one of the eight that had not had Squirrel’s penis inside of her and Marcy was the only one who’d not done the same with Brett. In fact, Trish and all five of the girls had sex with nearly all of the Guild members over the week. They had not really understood that prior to that moment.

Bonnie wondered about what it meant. What did it say about the values they espoused? What did it say about Bonnie’s leadership? She didn’t know.

When they got back on the road Trish took her turn behind the wheel. As soon as they were up to speed, in a voice loud enough to be sure everyone knew she was restarting the group discussion Bonnie said, “Sarah, I have heard a lot of stories of girls’ first time, but I think yours is the most unusual, and no doubt Marcy is right that there is a story to tell here that would be of interest and benefit to people well beyond our group here. Sarah, let me ask you something. Compared to how you had imagined how your first time with a guy would be, how was this experience for you?”

Sarah evidently had already thought this question through. “It was certainly not what I’d thought it would be like about a year ago. First off there was no white stallion and no Justin Bieber.”

That got a good laugh from everyone, even Marcy.

“It’s hard to remember what I thought real sex with a guy would be a year ago. But a lot of stuff has happened since then. When Gerta came to live with us, she told me all about her sex life when she was my age. That led directly to me and Bailey going past pretending we were on dates with guys while we kissed and played with each other; to just getting naked and into bed to have sex. That was huge. Even though we actually weren’t doing anything we hadn’t been doing for several years, in my mind, I had my first lover. It was like within a week or two after we decided we were a couple, Gerta had sex with my parents for the first time. When she told me all about it, her explanation further changed what I expected sex with a guy to be like. Combining all those things helped me to create a more realistic imagination about my first time. When I actually got to watch her and Rolf make love in December, again it changed my fantasy. I guess that was when I really, really decided I was ready to start doing it with guys. The thing that added to my increasingly specific dream of the ideal sexual debut was when Misty told me about her first-time threesome with Kelli and Cody. What is funny is that over the last few days I have done all the things I’d imagined I would want; but they were not all with the same person. That had not been in any of my fantasies. Sleeping with Bailey for the past week has been a big part of it. Holding my best friend’s naked body close to mine, feeling her heart beat and kissing softly; that was part of the experience I’d hoped for. Another part of my ideal debut was I wanted to be in the hands of an older more powerful lover. I dreamed of someone who would guide me. I wanted someone I looked up to and respected and felt safe giving my body over to. Misty did all that and more. And then there was the straight up feelings of a male body, the taste of a penis and semen, the feeling of a real cock in my body and to feel a guy fuck me hard till he cums. I got all that from Zac and Mitch. So, I got all the things I dreamed about, it was only that they came over a period of days with four different people.”

Bonnie nodded. “That is a story worth telling. May I assume you learned a lot about what you want and don’t want in sex with guys?”

“Well,” She looked over to Bailey, “This week, together, we have tried pretty much all the things we began talking about when we were thirteen or so. What has been great about this trip, and I need to thank my mom, Mrs. C. and Mrs. Simms for it; it could have taken us years to learn this much about what we want and don’t want in sex. I mean, I read somewhere that most American women have fewer than four sex partners in their entire life; but this week, if we include what I did with Brett on the lifeguard station as real sex, I did it with seven different guys.”

Bailey cut in “And not one of the times we had sex was of the three-minute variety. Even last night when she was on Brett, she was on him for a long time even if they didn’t try to cum. One good thing that came from my relationship with Kevin was that I heard a lot of the popular girls talk about their sex lives in ways they would never normally do around plebes like me. From what I heard some of the most popular girls at school say, sex that last fifteen minutes is seen as a super long experience. So it’s like this week Sarah and I developed an expectation about sex that is very different than what is common among our peers. I also concluded that girls faking orgasms is way more common than their boyfriends giving them one.

Haley added “I would not doubt for one minute that most of them fake it most of the time.”

Bonnie pointed out “Among the girlfriends of the football players I have no reason to doubt your conclusion. Though I would at least hope that is not the case more broadly.”

Sarah went on “I think we are both figuring out what we like best, what we sort of like and what we don’t like.”

Bailey expounded, “I came lots of times with a dick in me this week, both with a dick in my vagina and in my ass. Vaginally I found if I wasn’t rushed and the guy didn’t blow, I could cum when I was on top pretty much every time. That is great for sure. I found without a doubt I am an anal girl though. To get the whole package, I want him to put it in both places even though I don’t cum from just anal alone. I also learned how much relationship matters. I really liked sex with the guys, don’t get me wrong, but we were only in the opening stages of building relationships when it all ended. It was when it was one, or two, of them, plus Sarah that was when it was truly great.”

Sarah nodded and said “It’s the same way for me too. I really liked dick in me. I liked everything about it.” She looked to her mother “Did I tell you that yet?”

Marcy just slapped at her arm.

Sarah finished her statement “…but it was so much better when Bailey is part of the equation.”

“Please explain,” Bonnie asked to draw her out.

“Well, like I already told you, doing it with Bailey is super special in a deep way with a kind of connection that I didn’t get from the guys this week. I could spend all day with my face between her legs. What I found out this week is I don’t have to choose between doing it with her or with a guy. I guess I knew that in my head, but now I know the reality is better than my imagination. Being with Bailey AND a guy at the same time is simply better than I ever dreamed of. When I had one of the guys do me nice and slow while I’m eating her out it is just the best. A couple of times we did that for like half an hour straight. I now know for sure that I like kissing her with a dick in me better than just the dick alone. That is super cool.” She paused and then added “Though, perhaps with Lamar I will feel more depth of feeling than I got with the guys this past week. I told you that sometimes I would imagine Lamar was fucking me, not whoever really was. So, I really am looking forward to making love to Lamar.”

Bonnie nodded. Sarah really had learned what some women take years to learn, and others never learn at all. Once again Bonnie felt the surety, they had done the right thing with this trip.

Bailey added, “For all four of us together, what worked out best was when Sarah and I made love, while the two guys used their dicks to give it an extra something. Like when we made out while one of them was in her and the other was in me; or for me to sit on one with his dick up my ass while Sarah ate me out and the other guy fucked her. That way nobody was left out. I was surprised how much Zac and Mitch both enjoyed me just sitting on them like that while Sarah got me off with her mouth. I guess each time I came it felt really good for them too. I’d not anticipated that. We actually did that Three different times. As we went on and on, I kept cumming and cumming. The only thing that made us stop was that eventually, she would make me cum so many times that I simply couldn’t stand anymore.”

Haley and Misty both gave positive affirmations to the two younger girls.

Bonnie just nodded her head “Yes I understand. The things you two describe are both simply wonderful. I’m happy you got to have those experiences.”

For her final comment, Sara said “I also found that I like the feeling of different dicks in me a lot. I get why Haley does lots of different guys. Each one is different. Oh, and one time I had Zac try to do me up the ass. It just hurt so I know for sure that is not my thing.”

When Sarah and Bailey had finished their narrative, Bonnie turned to Caitlin without a pause. “And what did you learn this week….other than to enjoy worshipful young men in your bed?”

That got laughs and surprisingly Caitlin said “I know I shouldn’t, but I’ll confess, I liked that part a lot. More than I wish I did. I can totally understand how celebrities become so full of themselves. It would not be good for me to have someone in my life like that in the real world.”

Haley snorted “Well you don’t have to worry about that back home. To us you are just the uncoordinated and insecure girl you were when we were in middle school.”

That got laughs and Bonnie completely understood what she was saying. She was still having a hard time believing that the stunningly beautiful young woman in the van had been so dorky just a few years ago.

Bailey continued to surprise. To Caitlin she said “Any time you want to be worshiped, I’ll be happy to. I might love Sarah to the depth of my heart; but I love you the way my mother loves Tom Cruz. If you want to hear you are the most beautiful woman alive, just call me up and I’ll tell you. If you want someone in your bed who wants nothing more than to bask in your glory and give you unending praise and pleasure… just call me.”

Caitlin turned red and everyone else broke up.

Bailey’s sideways smile made Bonnie wonder if that over-the-top remark was snarky or genuine. Or perhaps part of both. After all they’d made the effort to spend a whole night by themselves in her upstairs room.

Bonnie rescued Caitlin by asking “Other than that, what did you learn?”

She had an answer ready. “I didn’t realize how many different experiences I can have that involve sex. Like the others, I got years’ worth of new experiences in a week; and while some can go into categories that I already had, I have a whole box of new categories. Over the week, Misty and I made love several times. That is a category I have long had. That kind of sex is deep in a way that I can’t describe.” She looked at Bailey and said “When you talk of your love for Sarah, I understand. Misty has been an integral part of my life since I was five. We have been using our naked bodies to bond since we were seven, though for years we had no notion that some people would have called our snuggling & touching sexually. All we knew was that it felt so comforting and just so right. So when we have sex now, it is something very special. Pretty much our times with just the two of us has its own category.”

“It was only at the Euro-Club End of School Party did I learn about recreational sex just for fun. I had a lot of that this week. But now I have new categories for kinds of sex that I’d not really understood before. Like sex as a social activity. I’d gotten hints of that, at the after party with the sex out by the pool, when Mrs. C. came out with the bowl of condoms naked.”

They laughed at the memory.

“That was sex as a way to build our group identity. That is very different than sex just for fun. Until last night I was never an active participant in social sex; instead, I was part of it by just being there while people did it on and off for hours and hours. For the people actually doing the screwing and stuff, I’m sure it was fun sex and probably exhibitionist sex as well; but for the rest of us, it was what I now categorize as social sex. As I think about it, pretty much any other kind of sex can be social sex if it is done where the group can passively participate by watching. Now that I am saying it out loud; I would also say it is social sex when we share our experiences like we just did at the restaurant. That was part of our group’s identity building process. I suspect that social sex will become a defining part of the Euro-Club as we move forward. Or perhaps it already is.”

Bonnie was impressed by Caitlin’s analysis. She knew she was an “A” student, but this was pretty advanced thinking for a seventeen-year-old. And she was right. She wondered if the other girls, or even Marcy and Trish were following what she was saying.

“And, I just mentioned another category of sex I now have: exhibitionist sex. Sex that is a performance. Now I would say that’s not my thing, but when I’ve been in threesomes, I find myself thinking how what I’m doing looks to the third person, so I guess I do it too. Mrs. C., from what I’ve heard you say, you enjoy that quite a lot. And that’s cool; I’m just saying I’ve really learned a lot about how we have different kinds of sex for different reasons. I’ve heard and read people say good sex is this or that, but now I’m sure good sex is not just one thing, but many things.”

Bonnie nodded “Those are really good observations. You certainly have me thinking. Thank you, Caitlin.” Looking to the seat behind her she said “And Haley? What have you learned this week?”

“I’ve learned…well I’m trying to learn to trust my friends more. I know in my head I don’t have to be in charge every time I’m in bed, but it’s a hard habit to break. Misty’s right, in bed, my strength of both body and will might not be as important as Caitlin’s natural power of love and kindness. I do see myself as an Athena kind of take-charge person; and everyone who knows Caitlin knows she is Aphrodite inside and out. There are lots of pretty girls at school that people detest. Caitlin's beauty is way deeper than her pretty skin. Deep down, she is the most beautiful person I know. I guess I’ve known it for a long time, but it really came home this week. People, all people, want to do what Caitlin wants and it’s not just because she is pretty; it’s because how she makes them feel about themselves. What I saw this week was while having sex, everyone, including me, wants to do what Caitlin wants them to do. Her power is stronger than mine. That is hard to even say, but it’s true.”

Haley, who shared the back seat with Caitlin hugged her.

Haley concluded with “Until this year, I’d always seen sex as a sort of contest. I had to master the guy in my bed so as to make him please me. And I don’t see myself ever stop being that person entirely; but now I have found a new sort of joy in letting go and opening myself up, not just spreading my legs, but my heart too.”

Had Bonnie simply underestimated all of these girls? Likely so. It is just so hard for her to see them as young adults, not children. It was far easier to see them as young women in body than in mind; but they clearly were more thoughtful than any child could be. She’d try not to forget that.

Misty didn’t wait to be asked “After that I’m afraid to sound shallow by saying what I’d planned. I was going to say how much I’ve learned about shooting outdoor glamour and about shooting erotica; but I guess I should say something else.”

Bonnie jumped in “That is fine. It’s not a profundity contest.”

Misty replied, “I know but the truth is it’s easier to talk about photography than what I’ve learned about my relationships. Most of all I’ve learned about my relationship with you, Mom. I know things between us have been changing for months, and it continues to evolve. This week has just shown me that you and I are fellow women as much as parent and child. You will always be my mother, but I’ve felt like we are becoming partners in some great project this week. For instance, at dinner with Mira, you treated me like a colleague not a little girl.”

Bonnie replied “You deserved to be treated as a peer. She was impressed with what you said. So was I.

Misty went on to talk of her relationship with each of the four girls, and how the events of the week had shaped them beyond her expectations. She spoke for several minutes before turning to her mother. “OK, I think it is now your turn.”

Bonnie started immediately. As for me, well I’ve learned way more than I had expected. Even today as I’ve been listening to you all, I am learning that you have a much more sophisticated view of sexuality than I had at your age. The first thing that jumps to mind is that in our planning I’d expected you all to play around and perhaps once or twice you’d bring a guy home. That is not what happened. This week there has been far more sex, and it was far more public than I had even remotely begun to imagine happening. There is no question that the fact you girls just happened to run into the Silverfire Guild made a huge difference in the events of the week. Then on the same day, Sarah & Bailey just happened to meet a pair of cousins, their age, who were respectful and open to their leading. Combined, those ten people completely changed the weeks’ experience for you. Then one of the managers of the local upscale swingers club just happened to sit next to me at the nude beach. As I think all of you know, I’m not prone to over spiritualizing things or to talk about God’s providence; yet, it is hard not to see the hand of God in this. The events we did not plan shaped our trip, and shaped the lessons we learned. At lunch I got a text from Dr. Douglass saying she spoke to Cannon. If you recall I met him at the club and he is the leader of a Florida nudist & swing club association. He asked her if I would be available to speak at some of the larger clubs this fall. Already there are long-term effects of what we did this week. Who knows what more will come of it. I am starting to believe that for all of us, and even perhaps those who we met at the beach, this past week will prove to be a seminal moment in our lives. Marcy and I certainly did not plan this trip to be anything more than just a getaway with our girls; but providence or God or just the universe had something else planned…something much more significant.”

For some time, they all just sat in their thoughts as the van ate up the miles. Finally, Sarah looked to her mother and said “I need to email Gerta, she’ll be amazed what all happened this week. She’ll be so shocked. She won’t’ believe you would do half of the things you did this week.”

With a patronizing smile Marcy slowly turned to her daughter and said “No little girl, I don’t think she would be shocked at all. You see, you’re not the only teenager to have ever discovered sex. It existed in my day too, and that was long before the abstinence only campaigns by the right-wing anti-sex backlash and the real content was removed from sex-ed classes. Last night I told Bonnie and Trish, but I need to tell you, I was not as surprised with Gerta’s behavior as I led you to suppose. Well before she came to Georgia, I told her I wanted her to challenge what you’d been taught by our community about nudity and sex. I’d fully expected she would opt to go nude in our hot tub with you. While I’d not expected her to join your father and me in bed, I had fully expected her to tell you about her very casual attitude about sex and nudity. Your assumption that she actually told you everything I had told her is incorrect. I told her quite a bit about my free-love lifestyle before I married your father; but I asked her not to tell you. I have no doubt that the reason she came into our bedroom and asked to join me and Mike was that I told her I was considering ending my two decades of strict monogamy. The truth is I started having sex at fourteen, and had experienced what you did the past few days every week for the entire summer before my freshman year.”

Bonnie didn’t know what Sarah was thinking, but she was stunned. Though the hints and tidbits she’d dropped this week had been preparing her, to hear Marcy say she was having casual sex with multiple partners when she was only fourteen was still quite a leap. She had no idea that the quiet school teacher had that kind of history. By the look on Sarah’s face, it was apparent that this revelation had taken Marcy’s daughter aback far more than anything else that had been said. Then slowly forming up her words Sarah said “So that is why you were so evasive when I asked if you had sex in high school.”

Marcy nodded.

Sarah went on, “You led me to believe you had sex in college but not in high school.”

With an exasperated look Marcy said “I didn’t say that, you just made the wrong conclusion.”

Sarah glared at her mother, so Marcy added, “When you asked me when I first had sex, I said I’d had sex in college and that I wasn’t ready to talk with you about that. All that was true, now I guess I’m more ready to talk about it than I was before.”

”So talk” Sarah said in an accusatory fashion.

Bonnie intervened “Relax Sarah. She has said a lot already. More than she’s ever told me in all the years I’ve known her. You don’t know how hard this whole thing has been on your mom. The very fact she’d never told anyone should tell you how it weighs on her. I don’t think she had ever planned on resurrecting her old life and a lot of this she is doing for you. So let her tell her stories when she is ready.”

Chastised, Sarah looked down and said that she was sorry.

Marcy reached over the seat and laid a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “That’s all right, I just wasn’t ready to tell you anymore when you asked before. I think you know how much has changed in the last couple of months, for both of us. When we invited Gerta to come stay with us last year, a large part of the reason was to open up the door to tell you about my life prior to moving to Sparta when I married your father. I was concerned that telling you the whole story would seem like I was pushing you into things that you were not ready for; but I knew you were growing up, and I needed to tell you everything. After this week, it is time. This week you have seen me revert to my true self, and now I need to tell you who that person is.”

Sarah nodded.

“The real truth is that it is not just all the casual sex that has kept me from telling you, or anyone else, about my teenage life. If I could tell you a benign story of sex for fun I would, but I can’t. I only have a story that has both good and bad parts; but I am now quite sure I really do need to tell you about it. While I’ve been working toward telling you about my life before I married for a year now; there was something that Ronda said last week that has been eating at me…what she said caused me to decide it is now time to tell you about my life as a teenager and single adult. I’ve been working up to if for close to a year, and Ronda’s words were what pushed me to decide it would be this week. The subsequent events have just magnified that fact.”

Haley suddenly looked concerned. “What did my mother say that upset you?”

Marcy gave a weak smile, “It’s not like that. What she told me and the other mothers was really wonderful. Though she doesn’t know it, she showed me the path that I want to follow as a mother from here on out. I can’t do that unless I come clean about who I am deep down.”

There were more confused looks. Marcy tried to explain. “Before the trip, your mother had told me and Bonnie and Trish part of the same story you told us the other day. About how she has sex with men in that trailer you take on rodeos. She told us how she had explicitly asked your permission before she did it the first time because there is only a light curtain between the loft where she planned on having sex and the bed where you & your sister sleep. She told us that you two said it was OK, so she did. Then afterward the three of you debriefed and she explicitly told you everything she’d done and why. As I understood it, you were not quite thirteen and it was about the same time you started making out with girls…well the girls who now make up the Euro-Club and with the guys at your events, and almost immediately after that you went right to having oral sex with both groups. From what you said, it sounds like you couldn’t wait to tell your mother all about the first time you sucked a boy off. What I’m getting at is that I understood that for your family sex is very matter-of-fact.”

Haley, still with concern on her face said “Yea, that’s about right. Since I was in 3rd grade she’d been telling us she was having people over to the house so they could have sex; though like I said before, at first, she didn’t use that word for it. She has always been matter-of-fact that when she is late from work it’s because she and a co-worker met up someplace on the way home. Usually at one of the little motels on the highway between I-20 and home. She never glosses over the sex part, even back when I was twelve and Bethany was ten. She says it is just a normal part of life. And you pretty much have it right about Mom screwing guys at rodeos. Before the first time she had a man for sex in the trailer while we were there, she directly asked if it was OK with us. By doing that we always saw it as our choice. I think that is why we never felt embarrassed or like we were being put upon even though most of the time we can at least partly see them doing it. It worked out fine and she’s been having guys over to the trailer to have sex ever since. Though as of late it has almost always been with the same man. While if it has been a long day, Bethany and I just ignore mom and her guy, and go to sleep; but, I guess at least a dozen times over the past few years, we have laid side by side as we both masturbate while Mom is moaning and groaning up in the loft. It has become sort of a contest of who could cum the most times before mom is finished.”

That elicited a few laughs, and a comment…by Sarah…that the club should have a contest like that. Haley just ignored her suggestion and went on “By the time I started having sex, watching mom getting it on with a guy through the curtain was just an expected part of our family trips. On the drive home, mom and I and now Bethany share how our time with the guys went. So what happened Saturday night with Mr. C. was not really a great leap.”

“Haley, you’re not understanding” Marcy said. “It wasn’t that what your mother said upset me. It challenged me. What has been weighing on my mind is how she said that from that first time she’d had sex with you two right in the trailer with her, till Gregg moved in, for both her and for you, casual sex had just been a game. She said that for you two, and by extension for your sister, there had never been anything more to it. Sex is just a fun activity for all of you, effectively she sees it as just another type of normal family time. Like you just said, you aren’t self-conscious at all while you and Bethany watch your mother have sex through the curtain and masturbate side by side. Even the way you said it, tells me just how matter-of-fact it is to you. Earlier, Caitlin gave us a category of social sex where sex is used to build group cohesion and identity. She pointed out that social sexuality involves more than just those people engaged in sex, but all those who are present in the space and even those who are part of storytelling later. She was spot on. At lunch, we were building group identity by talking about the sex we’d had over the past week. Caitlin’s insightful analysis finally helped me to fully grasp what is really going on. This group, and the larger group who go nude at the Campbell’s pool and the Euro-Club is effectively one large social-sexual community.”

Bonnie couldn’t help but say “You know you are right. I’d not thought about it like that.” Then she turned to Caitlin “Thank you for giving us a way to conceptualize this.”

There was general agreement before Marcy went on “Haley, but Caitlin didn’t plant the idea in my head. It was your mother. Week before last, she got me thinking about how sexuality can be used to build identity. As I understand it, for you, your sister and your mother, open sexuality is an integral part of your rodeo life. Like you said, Saturday was not a big leap for her or for Bethany. From the way you and your mother describe it, that comfort with sex in front of each other is very much part of what defines your family. Not that you planned it that way, but it is. As I say it, I guess that is also true for the Campbell’s.” She looked at Misty, “Tell me if I’m wrong, but growing up where you could see your mother in her daily masturbation routine or your parent’s having sex is part of what defines your family.”

Misty nodded.

Bonnie could see what Marcy was getting at, and she’d never actually thought of it that way. But she was right.

Marcy continued “And when your parents started to bring other people home for sex, it seemed just natural that you and Lamar watched from the living room. I think your mother mentioned once that you and Lamar masturbated side by side the first time you watched your parents in a threesome with their nineteen-year-old lover, Heather. Much like Haley and her sister do. You didn’t think of it as an offence or even intrusive; far from inappropriate, what you were doing was more or less expected.”

Misty agreed “Yes, if she’d found I’d seen them with Heather and had not stayed to watch at least for a few minutes, Mom would have thought that odd. And yes, while it was the first time for us to masturbate right next to each other as we watched their threesome, it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. Though, I’ll confess I hadn’t realized how big his penis had grown until I saw him jacking it that night.”

That got some laughs and Sarah to say “Oh, it is perfect. And you can be sure, all of you will see it in my mouth…most likely tomorrow night.”

Marcy looked to Sarah who was in the seat in front of her “I have no doubt I will” then she turned back to Misty who sat behind her “And when you and your friends became sexually active, it was also natural that your brother was allowed to watch from the hallway. For you and your family, watching others have sex, is very much family entertainment. Didn’t your whole family sit down together and watch the video of your mom having sex with the three builders?”

Misty nodded.

Marcy turned to glance across the faces of all the teenage girls. “Sex as a family social activity is part of who the Campbell’s are. During their weekly family movie night, they sometimes watch movies with graphic sex scenes that most people would call porn. When most parents wouldn’t watch a movie with simple nudity with their children there, the Campbells sit with their kids and watch movies with real, not simulated, sex. She turned back to Haley, “And the same is true for your family. All three of you live your sex lives right out in the open. Like you made clear, you don’t even think of masturbating in front of each other as sexual at all. From what you and your mother have said, sharing the enjoyment of each of your sex lives is integral to who your family is. I strongly suspect that the curtain in the trailer is just a formality. You said that she has known all along that you can see most of what she does up in that loft right through the curtain. From everything you have told us, I am quite sure that Ronda keeps it closed so that her men can’t see you, not so you can’t see what she is doing with them. I’m sure that is why when Saturday night she decided to have sex with Cooper, she had no qualms when your sister approached their chaise and viewed him penetrating her, up close and at length. She trusts Cooper in a way she does not trust those other men. Even more indicative of her trust is that your mother was comfortable for Cooper to be right beside Bethany while she had sex with Gregg. For a mother, that is the greater leap.”

Haley agreed, “Yea, I actually thought of that already. My guess is that if she’d had known that the Campbell’s or you and your husband were open to it before; she would have been having sex with people from your group openly in front of us well before last week. What has really changed is she has suddenly found that her closest friends also embrace her view that sex is nothing to hide or be ashamed of; not that she has just now decided it’s OK for us to see her in the act. After all we’ve been watching her do it for almost five years now. Like you said, the curtain was not to keep us from seeing, it was a formality to keep up the pretense.”

Bonnie felt dim. She’d not seen that, but Marcy clearly had. Now it all made sense. Ronda was a very good mother and very bright. Not that she didn’t already know that; but this was just further confirmation.

Marcy continued. “And what you do not actually see each other do with your many lovers, you happily share by telling the most explicit details of your encounters. That has been a part of your family life for years. I can’t miss that you, your sister and your mother really enjoy telling each other all about your erotic adventures. So, like I said, for your family and the Campbell’s, sex as a social activity is a central part of your family dynamic.”

Bonnie felt she had to step in to say “But Marcy, I hope you understand while that is all true, neither Cooper & I, or Ronda have ever sexually abused our children in any way. We have not in any way taken advantage of them or used them to get off. Yes, they are free to watch us have sex, or to have sex right in the open if they want; but the kids are always the ones to initiate that. Like the other morning, when I accidently got in the shower with Misty and Brett; I only stayed to watch because she’d made it clear before and then in the shower that she wanted me to. Or Saturday night, Cooper did not initiate sex with Haley’s mother out by the pool until after Bethany had already had sex in front of him. Cooper and I have never set Misty or Lamar up to watch us have sex for our gratification. When they watch us, they choose to. Yes, as a family we do watch people have real sex on TV …including videos that include me and Cooper. That is indeed part of our family life. But, when we watch such movies, it is always one of them who has picked the video out. We never push them into any of that. I have no doubt that very soon we will be watching live performances by both Misty and Lamar; but it will only be when they choose to have sex in front of us.”

“Yes, of course I know that “ Marcy replied. “It is the normalness of it all that makes it a core part of your family dynamic. It is that social component that I’m talking about. That is what you and Ronda have done right that has challenged me. You have demystified sex so that all your family can find enjoyment from the other’s pleasure. All sorts of families do that with baseball or fishing or whatever; but, for both of your families, sex is one of the activities that define your family. You freely share your sexual pleasures among the whole family without shame or guilt. Just like some mothers get gratification when their child hits a home run, Bonnie, you have gotten gratification out of not just watching Misty reach orgasm, but also from her talent in capturing the beauty of human passion in her photos and videos. Didn’t you say how wonderful some of the photos she took of you in our fivesome with the two Swiss men were?”

Bonnie agreed “Yes, I did and they were. I haven’t’ had a chance to see the photos she took of me with Brett, but I’m sure they are quite good.”

Misty put in “They are. You will love them”

Marcy followed up by saying “I can assume your whole family will sit down and look at those photos and video clips. I’m sure your family will also watch the composite video she is putting together of our fivesome, and me with Zara and me with Squirrel. I’m sure Sara will insist my family does the same. That is my point. That group enjoyment and bonding derived from looking at all of the photos and videos is a form of social sexuality. For your family and for Ronda’s that is just who you are. For me and my family, that is what we are becoming. But you must know that such families are so rare that most people would say they don’t exist; and if they met one they would react with horror. That we have two families among our social group with such and enlightened view of sexuality might seem astounding; but perhaps it’s not. Perhaps there is a sort of gravitational pull that brings likeminded people together. Bonnie, you have said you think the girls of the Euro-Club gravitated to each other because all of their families, or their mothers at least, have imparted a high level of comfort with their bodies and sexuality. I am sure you are right. You and Cooper, through your church youth group have helped that process by tossing a net into the larger community, to pull in teenagers…and by extension families… who are open to the sex positive message you preach. You had to notice how after the photos of you having sex on the beach spread around town, the youth group didn’t shrink, it grew. Even more important, as far as I know, not a single parent of a teen who regularly attends has spoken out against you. While you have lots of critics, not one of them are from people who see what you are doing for their children.”

From the driver’s seat, Trish said, “I don’t know how many times I’ve had people ask about you and those photos. While it is true most of the women tell me you are a degenerate and other lovely things; but not everyone does. Most men who ask think you are great and want to meet you. But not just men. Those women who have kids in the youth group, without exception, tell me they are so glad their kids go to your meetings. Marcy is right, you are gathering likeminded people.”

Bailey offered support for what Marcy was saying. “I was surprised when Mrs. Marshal called my mother to invite me on this trip. I didn’t know my mother knew all about Mrs. C., but when we talked about the offer to let me come, it was obvious she knew all about her and those photos on the web. I guess it would be hard to find anyone in town who does not. What surprised me was that I didn’t have to talk her into letting me come. Before I left, she’d said things that gave me a vague feeling that she wanted me to follow the example you and Misty showed in those pics from your last trip here. Now since I’ve shared the photos Mrs. Marshal and Misty took of me, and we have talked two different times; it is beyond doubt that she is on board with what you are trying to do.”

Misty put in “I think she’s right. Mom, I think you attract mothers who want something different for their daughters, even if they aren’t quite sure what that means. But what is clear is that what Mrs. Marshal is saying is right; you do attract parents who want better for their kids.”

Bonnie mused, “Perhaps you guys are right. If so, I can’t help but wonder how many mothers in our community feel that way? Or do we just draw those few who are like that to us?”

Marcy nodded “You do. Bonnie, even the kids see how you attract likeminded people. You are that proverbial light on a hill. That must be obvious to you. There must be a pent of demand for leadership in this area. You have stepped up to provide it, even if at the beginning you didn’t know the need was there. According to what you have told me, you have been working for this since before Misty was even born. And it’s not just you. Ronda certainly seems to have implanted sex positivity in her kids in an even more concrete way than even you did. I know Ashely provided a positive example of a woman owning her sexuality to Rebecca, and though I don’t know the details, I understand Gina did the same for Caitlin.”

Bonnie stepped in “Ashely will tell you she sent mixed messages to Rebecca. While she openly lived a life that embrace her sexuality in full view of her daughter; she sometimes let that get in the way of meeting Rebecca’s needs. They both have paid a price for that; however, it appears they are on their way to finding some sort of resolution. Just being sex positive is not enough; being a loving parent means sometimes you have to forgo your own wants to meet your child’s needs. In a way Gina did the same.” She looked to Caitlin and said “Correct me if I get it wrong, but your mother most definitely gave you a very good example of a woman who owns her sexuality and uses it for her own ends. So much so she paid a very high social price for it. But like Ashely, she sometimes failed to balance that with her responsibilities to both you and to herself.”

Caitlin nodded “Yes. That is exactly right. My mom is a wonderful person and she has never been afraid of her sexuality, nor has she tried to hide that from me. She never pretended she didn’t have sex for money as her profession. She was not ashamed of what she did for a living, and I have never been either. But there is something that leads her to make terrible choices regarding men. She worked hard to provide for us, but time and time again she lets some scummy guy take advantage of her. Bob takes advantage of her in one way, but before Bob there was the guy who ran off with the money she’d saved to buy us a house. Not just a down payment, but she had the money to buy a house cash. Then before that she let a guy set her up to take the fall for his bank fraud scheme. She was lucky she only did a year; she could have been sent away till I have kids of my own. But it’s just one guy after another.” She sighed. “The one really nice guy she fell for, who I know she is still in love with, wasn’t yet available.”

Caitlin turned to look right at Bonnie “I sort of know how you and Mr. C. were almost ready to ask Mom to be your lover. I know for a fact she wanted you to ask. She loves both of you so much. A couple of times she just day dreamed out loud to me about the six of us living together as a single family. We were so close to that, but not close enough. She only took up with Bob because she lost hope you guys would ask us to join your family.”

Bonnie choked. She had no idea Caitlin knew all that. How much did she know and how much had she just reasoned out by the bits and pieces she’d heard and seen?

Caitlin went on “I don’t fault you and Mr. C. You guys just were not quite ready to see that taking a lover, even someone you both already loved, was a possibility for a married couple like you. By the time you were ready, Mom was already under Bob’s control. I’m sure that is why he forbid her from even talking to you. I also know that your reasons had nothing to do with Mom’s sex work. I know you guys never cared one bit that she made her living by having sex for money.”

Bonnie was not surprised Caitlin’s references to her mother as a sex worker made Bailey’s eyes widen, but she had not expected the same from Marcy and Sarah.

“Caitlin, I don’t think as many people know about your mom as you think.” Bonnie told her softly. She seemed to have not even considered that possibility. All of the older Euro-Club girls did since most of them had seen her mother’s videos years ago; but the new members evidently did not know Gina had acted in sexually explicit movies…or the other things. Nor apparently did Marcy or Trish.

Caitlin looked to Bonnie, “I guess I should tell them about Mom.”

Bonnie replied “Yes, I think so.” She looked to the others “Gina is not and has never been ashamed of her life choices. She only hid her lifestyle to allow Caitlin to have a chance at a decent childhood in Sparta.” She looked back to Caitlin. “I am quite sure that nothing would bring your mother a deeper sense of fulfillment than to see the day when you are proud enough of her to brag on how she raised you.”

With that Caitlin gave the others a summary of what Bonnie and Misty already knew. The faces of the girls, in particular, made it clear they did not see Gina Richard’s career choice as anything other than, as Sarah said “totally awesome.” Halfway through Caitlin’s very abbreviated explanation of her mother’s version of sex-positive parenting, Haley interrupted her “Damn! I knew your mother’s videos were way better than my mother’s, and my mom’s were better than anyone’s but your mom’s…or perhaps Rebecca’s mom’s; but I guess I didn’t understand that she was a porn star.”

Caitlin countered “She wasn’t a porn star. Yes, she had the lead in a number of those videos, but they are different than either amateur or commercial porn on the web. There isn’t anything quite like them. I think that is because the clients were making their own fantasy for themselves, not for other people. That is why there are rarely things like external cum shots. People don’t usually do that in real life or in their idealized fantasies. People who spend the kind of money to hire a whole production company to stage their fantasy want something with class. My mother always thought of her work on those productions as acting. Even when she did her webcam show; she was acting and she knew it. To her, and to me, the only difference between her in those movies and other actresses is that she didn’t fake having sex on the set. Haley, maybe you didn’t realize it, but at our sleepovers I only showed the sex scenes because back then, I thought the rest was boring. But, last month Misty and I watched several of my mom’s videos. Now we are old enough to appreciate that her videos are the fantasy of the couple who made them come to life; the sex scenes seemed less the point of the videos than the couple themselves. From what I’ve heard her say, each video was the result of over a month of planning and work. Her videos were not just everyone get naked and screw; they were real movies that ran about 45 minutes.”

Haley again interrupted “You mean you still have her movies? I thought you said that her shithead boyfriend destroyed them.”

Caitlin explained that he had indeed destroyed some of her mother’s stuff but had not bothered with most of it. Rather he told her mother to throw the rest in the garbage. She didn’t. She gave the DVD’s, photos and digital files to Caitlin to take to the Campbell’s. “They have been in Misty’s closet ever since.”

Misty stepped in and explained to Sarah, Bailey and Marcy, “I’d already seen the videos because when we were in middle school, our little sleep over group would sneak our parent’s sex videos out of their rooms. Normally we’d watch the videos from whatever house we were at, but Caitlin had more and better videos and they were all on DVD so they were easy to hide. We would all watch them together. Just like Haley telling her sex stories, it was just part of what we did back then.”

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Wow, what a chapter. Most of you here don't know me, but I have lots of fantasies [and I write about it too,] of teen sex and intimacy at a young age.... I thought it was just my desperate, pent-up mind, but as you can see here, in this chapter [Yes I know it's fiction!] some of the characters were experimenting with sex and nudity at like 14 and 7. It helped me realize that I'm not alone, and that I was truly deprived of affection and freedom when I was growing up, and that I shouldn't be ashamed of imagining families where, like in these stories, sex is another fun activity, and another way to bond emotionally. I know…

Oct 27, 2023
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Way to go! Sexual shame is pathological, and you're getting past it. I like to think that I couldn't have done things in the past any differently (nor could my parents have), but I'm responsible for the future. Rinse and repeat.


Oct 16, 2022

I don't think Carol Christ managed to find the words: "In thealogy, the Goddess is the supreme creatrix and ground of all being. As the female divine, she is “a personification who can be invoked in prayer and ritual” and the “symbol of life, death, and rebirth energy” (Christ 1979, 278). She is the Many in the One; multiply manifest as a diverse array of goddesses across the pan-global mythic-religious spectrum. As a practitioner of Goddess devotion explains: “You can say it’s the Great Goddess and that’s the one Goddess but she’s also all of the many goddesses and that’s true. And she is everywhere, she’s immanent in everything… So I worship the great goddess and I’m polytheistic and pantheistic…


Oct 15, 2022

The difference between the hero's journey and the heroine's journey is that the heroine relies on family, connections, and support. The hero has to do everything alone and walk off into the sunset. Here the women are together, they have done something as a group. The relationship between the mothers and daughters are very important. "A young girl looks to her mother for clues as to what it means to be a woman, and if her mother is powerless the daughter feels humiliated about being female." (Murdock, Maureen. The Heroine's Journey) Here the daughters are empowered and are not ashamed. Men have a lot to learn from women. Men must celebrate women, worship their pussies and be supportive.

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Oct 15, 2022

I enjoyed this reminiscent trip back home with the eight women. It shows that we take our sex lives seriously and women who have a positive relationship with their pussies are happier. "For a woman, the pursuit of happiness must include her experience of rapture. And the only way to truly connect with the female body’s capacity to feel rapture is through her pussy. When a woman owns her pussy, she learns about her body, her innate sensual potential, and her creative capacity." (Thomashauer, Regena. Pussy.) Your descriptions of these women's backgrounds are fascinating and enlightening. Of course, the men in their lives and society at large, also benefit from their sexuality. Sex is the best communication avenue for everyone.…

Oct 16, 2022
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Unfortunately, our genitals do differ. A woman's arousal is very fluid and flexible. The pleasure we receive from being aroused will also help us give birth to a child. A man doesn't need that. The 12 faces of Eros focus on how you approach sex and life. You can experience everything from the inside, being aware of everything and not just an objective observer, to see everything as connected to everything else, etc. The reason Gafni says "Sex models the Erotic, but does not exhaust it" is when you are truly are making love all 12 faces can and should be part of your experience and they point to how we can and should engage in our everyday life -…


Oct 14, 2022

About eighty percent of the way through this post, there's a paragraph that ends,

"I am starting to believe that for all of us, and even perhaps those who we met at the beach, this past week will prove to be a seminal moment in our lives. Marcy and I certainly did not plan this trip to be anything more than just a getaway with our girls; but providence or God or just the universe had something else planned…something much more significant.”

I think ISOTFF's thesis is evident in this paragraph that, if you remove resistance, orgiastic behavior will emerge. In the novel, Bonnie's approval, her thinking that non-monogamous sex is a positive good, and her transporting a group of…

Oct 16, 2022
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So... Did Carol Christ find the vocabulary she was after, and did it derive from personal observation, other traditions, or what? My man, Gregory Bateson, wanted an epistemology that was neither supernatural nor mechanical. He wanted to be able to use words like love, beauty, and grace objectively. Didn't get there, but pretty far. I believe in those things, but I'm at the "can't define it, but know it when I see it" stage.

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