Updated: Jan 12
In Search of the Final Freedom: An Erotic Socio-Political Novel:
Raising the Revolutionary Flag of a Sexual Freedom
DeeDee Hildebrandt did not like to be late, but as the owner of a home health care agency, sometimes it was unavoidable. Sure, her company was very, very small with only three elderly clients; however, since each of the wealthy elderly women she served had 24/7/365 care, she had fifteen CNA’s and two LPN’s on her payroll requiring a surprising amount of time to just manage staff. If she had a problem with the care for one client, it cascaded to the rest of the day. She’d had two complications during the day, so she knew she and Bailey would be late to the Campbell’s. After work, she rushed home to change from her scrubs into…into what? What should she wear?
As she understood it, it was a party of sorts, yet the primary purpose was to let the families of those who went to Miami see the best of the pictures that had been taken on the trip. DeeDee had seen a few dozen photos already, however, according to her daughter, there were thousands of photos Misty had been working to edit and organize over the five weeks since they’d returned. How to dress was the question. She decided to revert to professional casual as a default. However, as they headed to the car it was clear her daughter had opted for a considerably more casual look.
Since her return from the Miami trip, Baily had transformed her personal style. Gone was the frumpy, form-covering default that had been the norm for years. In, was a sort of devil-may-care casual sexy where she openly flaunted her body, especially her 32EE breasts. Other than for school and Sunday night church Youth Group, DeeDee was sure her girl hadn’t worn a bra since that trip. Yes, she’d given her money to buy clothes while she was in Florida, but she hadn’t really expected Bailey to actually go for the sexy look as she’d suggested. Though, to be honest, DeeDee knew that had her mother allowed her to dress like that when she was sixteen, she most certainly would have done so.
Half an hour later DeeDee turned her Honda up a rural road she’d never been on before. She was actually apprehensive. She wanted to make a good impression. Sure she’d spent a number of afternoons and evenings with Marcy Marshal in the past month, but she’d never met Bonnie Campbell or the other parents who would be at this event. The simple truth was she had not had friends with whom she could talk about the things that really mattered to her since she was a young teen. From everything Marcy had said, these people might be the peer group for whom she’d been waiting for thirty years. She most definitely did not want to mess this up.
It was obvious which of the handful of homes on the rural road was the one for which she was looking. The circular drive was full of cars. She and Bailey exited her hatchback and headed toward the house. The front door opened and a mother and daughter stepped out to greet them. She recognized them both from the notorious nude beach photos she’d seen months ago. Bonnie was every bit as attractive in person as she was in the photos, and she was almost as naked in front of her house as she’d been on that nude beach. All Mrs. Campbell wore was an abbreviated caftan with a weave that was open enough to make all her assets evident.
DeeDee felt overdressed, but there was no fixing that now. It was clear that Bailey had known exactly what to wear. Though to be honest, DeeDee wouldn’t have dressed any different even if she’d known what Mrs. Campbell would be wearing.
In the few seconds it took to approach the party’s hosts, DeeDee’s mind was filled with the strange circumstances that had brought her here… to a party that in part was to be showing off nude photos of her sixteen-year-old daughter. She simply could not have imagined the series of events that had led her here when the year had begun.
The trail to this day had begun the prior February when Bailey had followed her mother’s footsteps and allowed an older boy (a young man) to convince her that her true worth lay in bending her life to satisfy his sexual desires. Out of ignorance or willful blindness, DeeDee had not seen what was happening to her daughter until it was all over. Upon hearing that terrible story, it seemed clear that the one thing she thought she’d done right, raising Bailey to believe in herself, had also been an utter failure. She had failed to prevent her daughter from falling prey to the same type of predatory young man that had so shaped her own life. When finally, the whole sordid story had flowed out mixed with Bailey’s tears, it was the lowest point of DeeDee’s entire life… in many ways worse than the day she’d found herself thrown into homeless destitution by her ex-husband.
She had told herself that she should have been able to prevent it. Afterall, it had happened to her decades before. Though even then she knew Bailey’s situation was not the same, nor had she facilitated her daughter’s debasement the way her own parents had; at that moment the guilt had not let her admit it. In DeeDee’s case, by the time she turned fifteen, she had been led to totally believe on a deep level that providing sexual pleasure to high-status males was why God had made her. Even now, nearly twenty-five years later, deep in her soul she still believed it. That had not happened to Bailey. Even still, at least for a few days, the guilt had so overwhelmed her that she’d thrown herself into an orgy of self-destruction… both figuratively and literally.
Bailey’s story had hit her so hard in large part because it was so similar on many levels to her own. For DeeDee, it had begun not with a sexually entitled handsome football player, but with the equally handsome and even more entitled heir apparent to the leader of her insular fundamentalist church/Christian school world. As a child, every aspect of DeeDee’s life was guided by their Primitive Baptist church/school ecosystem in the town of Gordon, GA (30 miles east of Macon). Outside influences like television, movies, “secular” radio & music or even popular books & magazines were forbidden to her. While her pastor ruled that world entirely, his teenage son Paul was the future leader and to young DeeDee, an authority figure ordained by God himself. And the fact he was handsome and charming simply made it easier for thirteen-year-old DeeDee to fawn on him.
It had been between her twelfth and thirteenth birthdays that little DeeDee’s body transformed from looking like a skinny beanpole little girl to one that seemed to belong on a 1950’s sex-siren. Inside she was the same person, but how people looked at her seemed to change overnight. As she moved through her 7th-grade year at her small religious school, she struggled to understand the effect her reshaped body (especially her large breasts) had on both her peers and grown men in the church. One of her female school teachers had “counseled” her about causing the boys to be distracted… though she had no idea what she’d done. While she could tell the boys were paying much more attention to her than they ever had before, there had been nothing she had done to encourage it. Her mother had noticed too and had taken drastic measures to “flatten” her with an ace bandage… at least on Sunday mornings. She supposed that her mother thought God was offended by her growing breasts. Even at twelve years old that seemed a little insane.
For her part, she often felt like her changing body made her a freak. Given the attention her mother and some teachers at school paid her, she was sure everyone was staring at her (as indeed she saw many were). Her older sister had not been cursed with those big noticeable breasts that brought her so much unwanted attention and even condemnation. A thousand times that year and the next, she’d asked “Why had God made me this way?”
Yet, at the same time…when she was alone taking a bath or shower, she looked at her naked body in the bathroom’s full-length mirror. The truth was, she liked what she saw… a lot. She loved looking at the curve of her hips and the swell of her breasts separated by a tiny waist and flat stomach. In the process of enjoying looking at her naked body, she’d found touching herself was immensely pleasurable. Nearly every day she’d spent ten or fifteen minutes looking at herself and touching those parts that made her feel especially good. She didn’t have any vocabulary to describe getting sexually turned-on, and in that year she didn’t even have an understanding that when her pastor railed against lust and sexual perversions and sins of the flesh he was talking about what she did each day looking into that mirror. Though she understood that somehow, the body she liked to look at and touch caused boys and men to sin. So even as she was just discovering sexuality, she was conflicted by her feelings versus how she thought she should feel. She loved her new body and hated it at the same time.
During her thirteenth year, Paul Lowe became part of DeeDee’s story. The pastor’s son was three or four years older than her, and the acknowledged student leader in their church-sponsored high school. He was routinely held up as the model Christian young man for all the kids in her church/school. And best of all, he became her older sister’s boyfriend that year, so he was at their house a lot. When he began paying her special attention, she ate it up. It never occurred to her that he only showed her that attention when others weren’t around. At the infrequent times when the two of them found themselves alone in a room, he made it clear that he appreciated her curves. When he directly told her that God had blessed her by gifting her with such a wonderful body it brought her indescribable joy. He was the first person to ever directly tell her that her body was something about which she could feel good. One afternoon in the early spring of her 8th-grade year, they found themselves alone in a room for just a few moments. He leaned in very close to her and whispered to her that her breasts were wonderful and that any guy would love to touch them (she couldn’t miss that he included himself in that statement). That very night, while looking at herself naked in the mirror, imagining he could see and touch her whole body, she brought herself to orgasm for the very first time. It had been both terrifying and indescribably wonderful.
A week or so after he’d commented on how he liked her breasts, a note was sent to DeeDee’s teacher to send her to the main church building to assist in a project. This was not unusual since the church relied on the school students to do many routine tasks (like envelope stuffing) that ordinarily would be done by paid staff. When she arrived at the main church building, she found Paul waiting for her at the front door. He used a key to let them in. Still, this was not unusual since even though Paul was only a student in 11th grade, he often headed up such projects. It was only when he used another key to let them both into his father’s office did she think something unusual was happening. Nobody else was in the main church building at the time but the two of them. She naively was flattered that he would arrange for her to spend time with him. She’d not even considered why he’d locked the doors behind them, or why he’d sat so close to her on the office sofa.
As devout Calvinists, everyone in their church believed firmly in predestination. That afternoon, Paul began a series of “counseling” sessions where he was guiding her to know what God’s plan for her was. That day he introduced her to the idea that God had chosen her to minister to him in a very special way. He told her if she trusted him, she would not only find God’s plan for herself, but he was sure she would enjoy it very much.
When he leaned over to kiss her, she was confused but excited. As they kissed, he began touching her in the ways (and places) she enjoyed touching herself while looking in the mirror. When he felt his hand slide up her thigh (under her skirt), she thought the intense sensations would make her faint. Over the next half an hour she was thrilled to feel the touch of his hand in all of the places that felt good. He guided her to open up her blouse, then remove her bra so he could see her breasts. She was thrilled beyond words that he’d found them beautiful and told her so over and over. When he put his lips to her nipples she shook with the overwhelming feelings of both joy and … she didn’t have a word for it, but she knew it was something wonderful from God. A little later, with his hand up her skirt, he pushed her panties aside and touched her “down there.” It was like she was living in one of the “dirty” Harlequin romance books she and a few of her friends secretly passed among themselves.
He unzipped his pants and pulled out his “male member” and guided her to wrap her hand around it. It was oh so much bigger than her little brother’s “wee wee,” which she’d seen many times.
She’d been surprised to find it hot to the touch. While they continued to kiss, he showed her how to move her hand over, what he called his scepter. In just a minute or two, Paul began to shake and from his scepter, thick fluid shot forth. Not pee, but something else. It landed all over her hand that still held him as he’d instructed. Like she’d read in one of the books she had hidden between her mattress and box spring, his ejaculate was hot and thick and she was quite sure it was something very special. Once it had stopped coming out, Paul looked at her and spoke. She would never forget what he said.
“That stuff on your hand is Holy Seed. Though it comes out of me like pee does, it is from God and it is holy. It is God’s gift to you for your service to Him and to me.” He lifted her hand to her mouth. “Think of it like taking communion. By taking it from my hand, you are taking God’s blessing into you.”
He then indicated she should lick the sticky stuff from her hand and wrist. It was odd, neither good nor bad tasting, but if it was a gift from Paul and from God then it was something she wanted. The idea it was gross didn’t even occur to her. A few minutes later, as she redid her clothes, he told her that it was God’s will that they try to do that once a week. Though he also made it clear she could never, ever tell anyone. It was a sacred bond between him and her. She believed him wholeheartedly and thanked him for choosing her. He kissed her one last time and said “I did not choose you for this, God did.” She believed that too.
Some of the seed had gotten on her dress and she took a tissue to clean it up. He told her that next time, to keep it off her dress, she should just put his scepter in her mouth so that the seed didn’t go everywhere. It seemed to be a good idea. While the whole experience was strange, she trusted him; and it indeed felt good… very good. That night she felt like God himself had chosen her to do a sacred task.
And that was how it happened. Once or twice a week, at different times under various pretexts, she’d meet with Paul and they would kiss, he would touch her body and she would suck the seed from his scepter. He also began putting his fingers up into her “down there.” He even asked for her to let him know what felt best when he did. She learned new words and ideas to describe what they were doing. In addition to calling his male member his Scepter of Flesh. Her “bottom” he called her Holy Chalice. She had no idea why, though she did know a chalice was a special cup. He also taught her that his seed was a physical manifestation of the Holy Spirit that lived in him. She instinctively knew it was a great honor for him to give her God’s seed. She relished in the feeling of him ejaculating in her mouth every time he did it. He let her know that when she was ready to be formally consecrated to God’s service as a harlot, he would sheath his scepter into her chalice, though she didn’t know when that would happen. She had never felt so good about herself, even though he repeatedly reinforced that she could tell no one about what they did.
Because he was trusted by both the school staff and her parents, it was easy to find times and places for her to suck him off every week, though times to make out at length were more difficult to arrange. Nearly three months after that first time swallowing down his seed, and three weeks after her fourteenth birthday, they were again in the pastor’s office. Paul showed her the scepter cover he’d obtained and she did not resist at all as he removed her panties and pushed his scepter through her hymen. It hurt for a moment, but the joy of being a woman… God’s chosen woman made it well worth it.
For half a year, most weeks Paul found ways for them to meet twice. Once just long enough for her to bring forth his seed with her mouth and once where they kissed and caressed leading to him sheathing his scepter into her chalice. Though most of the time they ended with him removing the cover so as to spill the seed into her mouth, occasionally he would fill the cover with seed while his scepter was still inside of her. When he did, he instructed her to pour the contents onto her body (preferably her breasts) and rub it into her skin. He explained it would be a sacrilege to simply toss God’s seed into the trash with the cover.
Looking back at those years, of all the things that astounded DeeDee was that she actually had to ask Paul why he used the condom (cover) to catch his seed rather than letting it fill her womb. The simple fact was that at fourteen years old she honestly did not know the mechanics of conception. The story she’d been told was that when people get married, they lay in the same bed and their love brings forth a baby. Nobody in her hermetically sealed world had ever told her about how a sperm and egg unite. Paul had to tell her how his seed, if allowed to fill her womb could create a baby and that was not God’s plan for them; so, he either put his seed in her mouth or let it get caught in the cover he put on his penis.
Years later, as she went through her college years working on her Bachelors of Nursing program, it became obvious to DeeDee that someone had taught Paul quite a lot about sex. He just knew too much and had things thought out too clearly for a seventeen or eighteen-year-old boy in their isolated world, especially in the time before Google. Not only did Paul teach DeeDee about conception and birth control; but he taught her how to talk about her arousal and methods to prolong the man’s pleasure before he “spilled his seed.” It was not until she was in her nurse’s training (that she learned the correct terms for body parts (like labia and clitoris) and for actions (like arousal and orgasm).
It was after her “consecration” ceremony, a few months before her fifteenth birthday, that DeeDee concluded that someone (most likely Pastor Lowe) was guiding Paul. The fact he read much of the things he said from typewritten notecards made it obvious to even her that someone else had created the script.
Just prior to the Christmas holidays of her freshman year, shortly after Paul had turned eighteen and been ordained to the ministry, she and the other students were told to start calling him Brother Paul. Even though he’d not finished high school, with his ordination, he was officially a minister. Even when they were alone, perhaps especially when they were alone, DeeDee understood that God had placed him in her life as her spiritual authority figure to be trusted and obeyed.
A few weeks after that, in the week between Christmas and New Year’s, her mother told DeeDee that the pastor’s secretary had called to ask for DeeDee’s help on a project up at the church. Her mother was told that it would not take more than two hours, so she dropped DeeDee off at the church and said she’d be back to pick her up.
The first thing that was odd to DeeDee was that Peter, Paul’s younger brother met her at the front door, let her into the church, then locked the door behind him. He led her to the church sanctuary where “Brother Paul” was arranging things on the communion table. While the lights were all off, the stained-glass windows provided plenty of light in the middle of the day.
She took a seat on the front pew with Brother Paul, while Peter sat a few rows back. He asked her if she was ready to formally dedicate her body as God’s vessel for men of God’s choosing to sheath their scepter. Over the past few months, he had taken time to teach her that in the Old Testament, there were certain women who made their bodies available to men so that other women could be pure from such things. Such women were sometimes called harlots. He had explained that God had not forbidden men to sheath their scepter in the bodies of such women because harlots had been ordained by God for that purpose. He repeatedly pointed out the Bible holds up many women who were harlots as great godly women. He showed her that in the book of Joshua, Rahab, who was explicitly labeled as a harlot, had given her body for use by the spies Joshua sent to Jericho. Only after she’d shown her commitment to God’s will by bringing forth the spy’s seed did she help God’s people take the city. She was not condemned for being a harlot, instead, she and her family were rewarded by God for what she’d done.
Another time they looked at the Bible book The Song of Solomon. In it King Solomon met a beautiful shepherd girl who was most likely about fourteen or fifteen. In the story, not only do they have sex, but the Bible goes into explicit detail about what they did. She and Brother Paul spent several days looking at the sexual content right out of the Bible. He showed her how the text praised their love and love-making yet, nowhere was there a hint of condemnation for what they were doing, despite the text making it clear that they were not married.
Another day he had shown her that most of God’s men in the Old Testament had what were called concubines. Those women, who began their duties at around her age, were not wives but women whose sole role was to give their bodies to men God chose. He also used the New Testament to show her that Mary Magdalene, who had been a harlot, effectively lived with Jesus during most of his earthly ministry as his concubine. Brother Paul told DeeDee that it was clear that Mary Magdalen met the human needs of Jesus. It was as a reward for that service that she was the one to find the empty tomb and to be the first to see the risen savior. To a girl raised to believe what she was told by authorities about the Bible, it was natural to simply accept his narrative. Thus, under Brother Paul’s teachings, she simply accepted her God-ordained role in life was to use her body to meet the needs of godly men. The sacrifice of her body in this way would allow other girls (and women) to serve God in ways that required them to abstain from the physical joy she received when she was with Brother Paul.
Therefore, when in the church that day he asked if she was ready to dedicate her body to God to be his harlot, it had not come out of the blue. She’d seen it coming, though she had no idea how it would happen, nor did she fully understand what he was asking. However, she was ready and eager to do so.
The first thing she was asked to do that day that set it apart was when he handed her a pair of scissors and explained that God used symbolism to help people remember their commitment to him. He said, “For instance, a wedding ring is a reminder of someone’s commitment to their marriage, and in the story of Samson, his long hair was the outward sign of his commitment to God.” She understood what he was saying. It was nothing new. But then he asked, “Have you ever wondered why God has you grow hair to cover your sacred chalice?”
She had never thought about it.
He explained, “It is like a veil or curtain reminding women their chalice is closed to any but their husband. But, you are going to commit to God that your chalice is open to God’s men who seek to sheath their scepter in it, so I want you to go to the lady’s room and cut away as much of the hair as you can. For the rest of your life, whenever you look in the mirror, the fact you can clearly see your sacred chalice will be your reminder that you have opened your body to God’s servants. It is the first step in your consecration.”
His words made perfect sense to fourteen-year-old DeeDee.
It was more difficult than she’d expected to cut away the rather thick mat of hair on and around her chalice. When she was done, she used the lady’s room mirror to see how well she had done as instructed. The cleft of her chalice was totally visible to her…and to God. Later that week she’d trimmed herself up using the Whal electric clippers she used to cut her two younger brother’s hair. It was much easier than scissors and gave her a more attractive & uniform look. To the day she found herself walking up the Campbell’s drive, once a week she used an electric hair trimmer to keep her pubic hair cut to half an inch long. Even though she’d stopped going to church over a decade before, the commitment of her body to God’s service had never waned.
When she returned to the sanctuary, Brother Paul was waiting for her beside the communion table, and Peter had moved to the front pew. He called her over and took her hands. He asked gravely, “Are you ready to be consecrated to God’s service?”
She had firmly answered “Yes.”
New deacons were dedicated by pouring holy oil on their heads, and new parents dedicated their child to God in a ceremony where the pastor puts a few drops of the same oil on both the parent’s and baby’s forehead. On the communion table, was the same crystal bottle Pastor Lowe used for those ceremonies. When she said she was ready, he gave a short prayer and he went to sit beside his brother on the pew while she remained standing.
“Sister DeeDee,” he said quietly but firmly, “please remove your clothes… all of them.”
Thinking back on it in later years, DeeDee marveled at how credulous she was. But even on that day, a month before she turned fifteen, she’d understood the significance of the fact that the pastor’s secretary had called to ask her mother to bring her up to the church. It had not been Brother Paul, nor was the secretary at the church when she arrived. It was as the ceremony progressed, she noticed that he was reading words from a stack of index cards. She knew without any doubt, even as she removed her clothes that this ceremony was sanctioned by her pastor… and therefore by God.
In the years since that day, she’d come to understand how common sexual abuse is in authoritarian religious settings. She did not know how common such ritualized sexual abuse was, but she knew for a fact it was endemic in fundamentalist Christian circles. But at the time, she’d totally believed she was giving her body to God’s use.
DeeDee had never actually been completely nude in front of Brother Paul before that. While he had seen her topless dozens of times, and he’d often looked right at her chalice when she’d lifted her skirt up, she’d never totally removed her clothes like that. Now she was standing completely naked right at the front of the church with Peter there as well. Peter was her age and the two of them had been playmates since they were little; however, rather than embarrass her, it had thrilled her to be unclothed in his sight. She hoped it was not prideful that she thought her body was beautiful… a beautiful creation of God. She was sure both Brother Paul and Peter would think so as well. By the looks on their faces, they did.
Perhaps that moment when she’d stood totally nude at the front of the church was where her persistent fantasy of going nude in public had been born. She knew full well that Bailey’s trip to the nude beach had been her fantasy come true, lived out through her daughter. But that day she’d simply been too overwhelmed with joy to even consider Brother Paul might be doing something selfish or untoward.
She stood there for a good while, perhaps as much as a full minute or even two while the two teenage brothers just looked at her with wide eyes. Finally, Brother Paul seemed to shake himself out of the spell. “Good” he said. “There is nothing between you and God. Now if you can lay on the table.”
Once he reached the table to assist her, he continued. “Today you will be making your body a sacrifice to God. You will be willingly giving up the bodily purity other girls seek to preserve so that you may serve Him.” After Brother Paul had helped her to lay out fully on the communion table, Peter rose and walked over to join them.
While Brother Paul stood beside DeeDee, Peter stood at her feet. Paul took the small bottle of oil off of the table, said a prayer, then poured a little on her now visible mons and labial cleft. Firmly he said, “I dedicate this Holy Chalice of Flesh to God’s service.”
The oil was cold. She couldn’t help her response of “Wow, that is cold!”
That seemed to lighten the mood up some.
Once the proper solemnity was restored, Brother Paul poured a little oil on each of her nipples. “I dedicate these breasts to God’s service.”
Dipping a finger in the oil he’d poured on her breasts, he traced her lips with the olive oil “May God’s servants always find these lips open to receive their Holy Scepter of Flesh. May Sister DeeDee, your servant, relish in the Holy Seed these lips draw out of your men.”
Brother Paul said another prayer then asked her to scoot down to the end of the communion table. He took her hand to help, and Peter took her legs. When she looked down to see how far she had to go, she was surprised to see that Peter’s pants were open and her chalice was moving to meet his full erection.
When she was far enough down, Brother Peter asked “Sister DeeDee do you willingly and joyfully invite this brother in Christ to fill your Holy Chalice with his Scepter of Flesh?”
She and Peter had been friends since they were in diapers. It was totally unexpected that she would join her body with her friend like this… yet, the idea was very appealing to her. She had no doubt at all that after this day, she’d have Peter in her chalice as often as she did Brother Paul. With more enthusiasm than she’d meant she said “Yes, I willingly and joyfully ask him to fill my chalice.”
After Peter made two unsuccessful attempts to do as he was asked, DeeDee had to reach down between her legs and guide his scepter to part the gates of her chalice. She felt bad for him because it was obvious he was quite apprehensive and wanted to look good to both his brother and to DeeDee. Once he had found his way into the gate, the rest of the shaft easily went into her. It was only once Peter’s scepter was fully inside of her did it make it to her conscious mind that he did not wear a covering. At that point, Brother Paul had only done that a few times and he had never spilled his seed in her chalice. That realization added to the excitement she felt.
Brother Paul turned to Peter “I know this is your first time, but you need to take it slowly.”
With his left-hand Brother Paul began to rub the oil on DeeDee’s nipples, with is right he softly stroked what she later knew was called her clitoris. From the time his fingers touched her, she was in ecstasy. She’d not yet had an orgasm from anything but masturbation, but it didn’t take long before she was sure she was very close to it. Over a year before she had learned to give herself orgasms by doing exactly what Brother Paul was doing… and this time she had Peter inside of her too. Brother Paul was touching her just the way she’d told him she liked it over the prior months. Suddenly she understood why he’d been asking how to use his hand to bring her pleasure. He’d been preparing for this ceremony. Even as that realization hit her, she began to climax, or as Brother Paul had called it, she began to touch God’s Spirit.
She hardly noticed when Brother Paul told Peter to speed up or to pull out so that the first spilling of his Holy Seed spread from her belly to her breasts. Before they were done, Brother Paul had, for the first time, spilled God’s Holy Seed directly into her chalice. He would not do so again for nearly eight years. After her chalice had been filled and anointed with seed, she’d knelt in front of the altar for her to take Peter’s scepter between her lips. When he spilled again, she received anointment of Holy Seed in her mouth as well.
The final component of the ceremony was her prayer of thanksgiving. She was still on her knees when Brother Peter handed her one of his typewritten notecards. His final command was, “Sister DeeDee, now that your body is God’s, you should memorize this prayer so that every time God gives you Holy Seed, you can recite it in thanksgiving.”
With joy and true thankfulness for what had just happened, she read the words aloud, knowing she was speaking directly to God:
“I thank you God for the gift of your Holy Seed. I praise you for allowing me, your humble servant, the privilege of bringing it forth. I thank you for the men whom you chose to deliver it to me this day. I joyfully make it part of my body as a reward for my service to you and as an outward sign of my eternal covenant.”
After that day, she knew deep in her heart that sex was an act of service to God. Because of that, it brought her both spiritual and physical pleasure each and every time.
As she had expected, from that point on, she was having sex with both brothers on a regular basis. She was surprised at how different it was with Peter. With Brother Paul, more often than not they only had time and privacy for her to suck his seed out with her mouth or let him fill her chalice with his covered scepter for just a couple of minutes. However, when they had longer, they would have a ritual to bless their time. Brother Paul would pray for God to be with their time together and he gave her a short lesson from the Bible that reinforced her conviction that God had called her to a ministry of bringing forth seed to God’s glory. Only then would he ask her to expose her breasts to him and lift up her skirt. In the end, virtually every time he would remove his cover so she could swallow down his holy seed. It disappointed her the times he actually filled the cover with his seed rather than giving her the joy of feeling and tasting it in her mouth before making it part of her body. She soon came to truly love the excitement of Brother Paul’s or Peter’s explosion of desire as they spilled their seed into her mouth. She very much looked forward to it. In practice, even after she expanded her ministry to other men, her expectation was that the man she was with would finish in her mouth. That did not change until she was with child, then afterward, since she was married, she began using birth control pills. At that point in her life, she found the feeling of her chalice being filled with seed had its own joys.
With Peter though, it was more relaxed and even fun. In time they learned to talk and even laugh while they had sex, she never did that with Brother Paul. Once a month or so, they even locked themselves in his brother’s church office and stayed for an hour of fun before returning to class. Sometimes they would both get totally naked and cavort around the whole office. In truth, those were her favorite times and later became some of her most cherished memories of her high school years.
Due to the logistics of getting time with the brothers at school or church, she didn’t double the number of times she had sex when she started doing it with Peter too; but she tried and usually succeeded in doing each of them once a week from then until she and Peter went off to college over three years later. Though when they were both home from school during Christmas break and in the summers she and Peter did it more than ever.
After her consecration, for several months, Brother Paul took time to explain that by giving her body over to carnal pleasures, she was allowing girls, like her sister, to be free to have chaste love and relationships. It was then he began to call her “My Rahab.”
DeeDee couldn’t miss that Brother Paul and her sister were lavishly praised because they were a model Christian couple who would never do anything remotely like what she was doing. She actually felt sorry for her sister for what she was missing out on. She was sure if Brother Paul did the things he did with her, her sister would enjoy doing them just as much as she did.
A few months after her consecration she actually asked him why he did not give her sister the opportunities she’d been given. Much to her surprise, he confided in her that despite how the teachers at school talked about him, he had done things with many of the girls at their school. When he had first started dating her older sister, he’d put his hand up under her bra. It had made her start crying. Though his explanation had been rather obtuse, DeeDee gathered that before he’d found her, Paul had systematically gone through all of the pretty girls in their high school looking for someone to play the role of Rahab, even while he was dating her sister. However, he told her clearly that most of the girls had stopped him before he’d even gotten one hand in their bra or panties. Less than half had let him go somewhat further before they stopped him and one had even taken his scepter into her mouth… once. He express to her that day that, to his regret, he’d pushed the un-named girl past what he knew she actually wanted to do. Then he confessed to DeeDee his guilt in knowing that he could tell her classmate thought that it was sinful and gross to put it in her mouth, yet he didn’t stop. “God punished me in that when the seed filled her mouth, she started to vomit all over my dick and everything. It was super gross. She was crying really hard and well…. It was just really, really bad and I’ve been asking God’s forgiveness ever since.”
Not only was it a revelation that he had systematically worked his way through the girls in their little school looking for a girl to do it with, but he’d even put his scepter into another girl’s mouth before. Until that day, DeeDee had just assumed she’d been the first. The school was small enough that she knew every girl, even those who were in the same grade as Brother Paul. So, even while he’d tried to feel many of them up (and from what he said he’d succeeded at it with more than one or two), nobody had ever let a hint out that he was not the role model for the other students that the adults presented him as. And… that was the only time she had him call it a dick, not before or after.
Gravely he’d told DeeDee that God had not made most Christian girls for the calling in life she had. She was the rare exception and God had created her body for that reason and preordained that life for her. She remembered how he had said, “I hadn’t even considered a girl as young as you, but I just sensed that you were different. I could tell you liked it when I looked at your body. When I took the chance of telling you how beautiful you were, you ate it up. Do you remember when I told you that your breasts were amazing and that a guy would do anything to touch them?”
She did. It was that statement and imagining him touching her that led to her very first orgasm. He went on to tell her that it was her positive response to that clandestine comment that led him to set up their first time together in his father’s office. He went on to point out that she’d raved about how much she liked him kissing and sucking on her breasts that first time. She knew he was right; she had loved it. And that had led to the next week. Before she took his scepter into her mouth the first time, she let him know how much she’d been looking forward to tasting the Holy Seed again. That too was true. In fact, over the intervening week, she had been distracted because of constantly trying to imagine what it was going to be like when she put his scepter in her mouth. He then reminded her how many times since he’d first put his scepter in her chalice, she had told him how much she enjoyed feeling it sheathed in her. He was most correct in that as well. He then explained that for married Christian women, taking her husband’s scepter into their chalice was a duty done only out of the need to create children. He emphatically said that married women never asked to put their husband’s scepter in their mouths the way she did. It simply was not something married Christian women desired or enjoyed the way that she did.
She understood what he said. After all, there was no way her own mother would ever have enjoyed doing the things she did with Brother Paul and Peter, even when she was young. She also knew she and her sister were different, so he must be right about that too. That did not keep her from feeling sad when she thought of all the things her sister was missing out on. Alternately that same thought made her feel like she was unclean deep down for enjoying those things. She was sure that she was less than her sister… or the other girls she knew at school who had rejected Paul’s advances.
She could not get around the fact that even while Brother Paul was telling her it was God’s plan for her to be a harlot, she knew what their pastor and her school’s Bible teachers taught. What they said was very different than what he was telling her. What she was hearing from the pulpit and from her teachers at school was that girls who let boys touch them in places that “were covered by a swimsuit” were not just trashy, but working for the devil himself. And DeeDee did a lot more than let Brother Paul and Peter just touch her in those places. Her mother often talked very badly about “loose women” and how girls who showed their bodies to men were disgusting filth. Additionally, while Brother Paul used the word “harlot” as if it was a positive thing, when she looked the word up it was just another way of saying prostitute. Nothing she found presented prostitutes as anything good, yet she’d pledged to give her body over to Christian guys to use for pleasure. Yes, she did it so girls like her sister could be “pure,” but didn’t that mean she was impure?
Pastor Lowe (Brother Paul’s father) often railed from the pulpit about carnality and sins of the flesh. If she applied his words to her, she must be a dirty used fallen woman that no man would ever want as a wife (or in her mind a girlfriend). After all Brother Paul was her sister’s boyfriend, not hers. Several times Peter had let her know he would like her to be his girlfriend, but they both knew that his father would never let him date “someone like her.” It was central to their church’s belief that once a woman had sex outside of marriage she was permanently ruined. Thus, before she’d turned fifteen years old she utterly believed that her only value (and sense of self-worth) was tied to giving sexual pleasure to Brother Paul and Peter. But she reasoned that God in his wisdom had preordained that she was to be a harlot, so she would be one without regret because who was she to find fault with God’s eternal plan?
Their brand of Christianity didn’t believe ministers should go off to college, but rather learn the trade at the feet of an older man. Thus, a little more than a year after they had first begun to have sex, Brother Paul finished high school and officially became the church’s associate pastor. That simply meant he received his own office so it was even easier to meet his (and Peter’s) needs, even on Sundays. Indeed, more than a few times while she was in high school, as DeeDee sat beside her parents during Sunday morning services, she was relishing in the taste of Brother Paula’s or Peter’s semen in her mouth after sucking it out in the fifteen minutes between the end of Sunday School and the start of the main service. It also meant that Brother Paul’s office was the standard place for her to have sex with both Brother Paul or Peter on a regular basis for the rest of the four years she was in high school, and when she was home on weekends or breaks from college. Even when Brother Paul got married to Mary White, one of DeeDee’s high school classmates, it did not change her role in his life. In fact, according to him, what she did for him became more important rather than less.
It was years later, after her divorce and removal from the membership roll of her parent’s church, that she read an article about how the pastor of a mega-church in Indiana had been sent to prison for having sex with a sixteen-year-old in his Christian school. Reading the article seemed to make everything that had happened to her make sense. Only by changing her perspective did she really understand what had gone on at her church/school when she was a teenager. Back then, she thought the other adults in the church/school were incredibly stupid for never catching her having sex with Brother Paul or Peter even though over the years she’d done it several hundred times. In the article, it made it clear that the pastor of the mega-church had been facilitated by the church staff’s willful ignorance and efforts not to see what was going on right in front of them.
After thinking on the article for a few days, she realized that was what had happened in her church/school. That was why she never got caught, the teachers in the school made a point NOT to catch her or the pastor’s sons. As she thought about it, she realized that even her parents must have known and helped facilitate her role as a Christian harlot. It was quite the realization considering how they had condemned her for first getting pregnant in college, then effectively disowning her when it came out her second child (Bailey) was not her husband’s.
It had been that realization that finally brought her relationship with her parents and her church to an end. She’d not even been inside her parent’s home or in a church for over a decade.
Yet…for all that, she had never lost her love & respect for Brother Paul, or stopped having sex with him. After his father had passed away, he had become the church pastor. To the day she drove to the Campbell’s, once a month or so she made a trip to Gordon and visit him… right in his home. His wife, Mary, nearly always met her at the door and always thanked her for taking care of Brother Paul’s needs. Mary knew. She’d known since they were first married. Long ago, DeeDee had found out that Mary appreciated her for doing something with her husband that she most often found an annoyance and even distasteful. After DeeDee had spent an hour or two having sex right in their bed, Mary was always gracious, many times she invited DeeDee to stay for dinner with the family afterward. In practice, it seemed like she was something between Brother Paul’s concubine and a sort of home health worker caring for his mental health needs…as she did in her professional life.
Nobody had to tell DeeDee how complicated life can be. No matter how much she knew intellectually that the whole “God’s Harlot” thing had been a scam, deep in her heart, she still believed it. The feeling of Brother Paul’s orgasms & ejaculations still made her feel closer to God. Sex would always be a spiritual act for her, especially with him. Nothing could change that.
At her consecration, when she gave her body over to be God’s harlot, DeeDee had explicitly been told that she would be called on to serve men other than Brother Paul. The fact that at the ceremony, Peter had been the first one to ceremonially put his scepter into her chalice made it clear that her body would no longer be her own. Her chalice (vagina) would be open for other “godly men” as directed by God (Brother Paul). It didn’t happen immediately, but when she was sixteen, for the first time Brother Paul arranged for her to minister to another man (a man not a boy).
She’d been hired to babysit for a young couple in the church. It was normal for those who hired her to babysit to drive her home afterward, so she didn’t think anything of it when the husband offered to take her home in their Suburban. What was unusual, was he offered to take her to a local fast-food place on the way to her home. She wasn’t about to turn down a late-night Taco Bell run.
The first hint he had another reason for taking his time in getting her home was when he worked into their conversation that Brother Paul had suggested he consider a Rahab to relieve the tension in his marriage. Instantly she knew what was going on. Sure she’d made that commitment, but she’d never actually had sex with anyone but the two brothers; yet Brother Paul had clearly told this man to talk to her about providing service… service she’d promised God she would give. Just because it had taken over a year to make good on her commitment didn’t mean she shouldn’t. She did her best not to seem surprised or that what he was hinting at was out of the ordinary. Working to keep her voice steady, and quiet, she leaned toward the (actually nice-looking) man in his mid-20’s. She asked “And he suggested that I was the Rahab you should talk to?”
His face flushed. He was clearly embarrassed. But he nodded.
She nodded back, “Then you must know that I have consecrated my body to provide for the physical needs of Christian men. Could you tell me what the tension is?”
Hesitantly at first, but with a growing willingness, he explained to a sixteen-year-old girl how his wife had lost interest in sex since their child was born. As professionally as she could she said “I don’t think we have time for a motel room, do the seats in your Suburban lay down?”
And so she gave her body in service that night… and enjoyed it. What she was not expecting was for him to pull out three ten-dollar bills. When she seemed confused, he said “Brother Paul told me to quote Matthew 10:10 that a workman is worthy of his labor. A therapist would have charged me more than three times this much and it would have been much less pleasant.”
The next time she was alone with Brother Paul she asked him about why he’d given the man her name. He just calmly reminded her of her consecration and that as he and his father worked with men, there were times the church needed someone who’d made that commitment to help out. “We waited for over a year till you had developed a high level of competence with your body and we had a case where the man was young enough that my father thought you’d be comfortable with him.”
It was the first time Brother Paul had openly made it clear that his father (their pastor) was not only aware of her “activities” but he was part of the process. While she was stunned, he’d always been upfront he saw her as a harlot for God, before that moment, she’d not quite realized that all along he had meant she actually would be engaged in prostitution in God’s service.
On a Saturday afternoon a little more than a week after her first experience with what she would afterward think of as “ministry sex”, her mother dropped her off at the same home to babysit again. However, she found the man’s wife and child were out for the day. It was the first time she had sex in a bed, her first time for afterglow snuggling, and the first time to have a second round of sex less than an hour after the first. It was by far the longest sexual encounter she’d ever had. The truth was it was wonderful, but the $30 she took home made it clear that she was performing a service, no matter how much she enjoyed it. After that, she “babysat” for the family a time or two a month, and about half the time she actually watched their child.
Between that day and when she finished high school, Brother Paul made three more referrals. Those four men were the only ones she ever took on in her ministry of harlotry; however, all but one of them she ended up seeing on an ongoing basis. Two of them she continued ministering to even after she was married (unbeknownst to her husband). One of them, a very sweet man whose wife had cerebral palsy, she had never stopped seeing on a monthly basis. But it was from that first time she took the money after sex that the idea that she was actually a prostitute for God became firmly embedded in her heart and soul.
After DeeDee had earned her BS in nursing, gotten married, taken a job at the Macon Regional Hospital, and had two children, she thought her life was settled into a stable and predictable pattern. While she did not love her husband (actually she didn’t even like him very much), they had an efficient relationship as parenting partners, but nobody would have confused them with a loving couple. She had no doubt he was banging any woman who would spread her legs for him. She actually assumed he was vaguely aware (and passively acquiescent) of the fact that nearly the entire time she’d been in one of a series of affairs with doctors at the hospital. She’d not tried terribly hard to hide it and everyone at her work knew. Though she was sure he had no idea about her relationship with Brother Paul or the two men to whom she ministered a few times a month. Bi-weekly sex with her husband was just one more thing she did for God. Though she sometimes wished she had a loving partner, she knew that was not the lot for a harlot like her.
But that stable, if less than ideal, life was not to last.
After the trauma of finding herself homeless with a three-year-old daughter, she was embittered by how her home church had turned on her for having a child with a man other than her husband. To hear that the church to which she’d belonged her entire life would not lift a finger to help her when she was destitute was both hurtful and eye-opening. The fact Pastor Lowe, who had been instrumental in setting her on the path of becoming a harlot, would punish her for her sexual activities was hard to forgive. Though, at the same time she was gratified that Brother Paul & Mary, Peter, and three of the men to whom she’d “ministered” worked together to provide her the funds to set up her new life (after her husband had cleaned out the bank accounts when he threw her out). While her church had turned its back on her, God had not. God had indeed rewarded her for her service to him, just as he had for Rahab.
However, after those events, she vowed she would never let Bailey feel like her only value was as a place for boys/men to put their dicks. She went out of her way to avoid dressing Bailey to be “pretty” and worked to focus her energy on academics. She had involved Bailey in the Milledgeville Community Theater’s children’s program to boost her daughter’s self-confidence. As her girl entered high school, it appeared that those choices had played out well for them. Though the battle with her ex-husband had cost her the relationship with her firstborn, as Bailey moved into her teen years, DeeDee had felt very successful as a mother. She’d been thrilled when she realized that her daughter and her best friend from school and theater, Sarah Marshal, had become lovers. She reasoned that if her daughter became an actual lesbian, there would be no guys to ruin her life.
But in early July her world came crashing down again when Bailey spilled out the entire terrible story of her relationship with Kevin. Her daughter had indeed followed in her mother’s footsteps despite all the efforts to keep that from happening. As DeeDee listened to her girl tearfully tell her the story of how her first boyfriend had used her for sex, then pimped her out; it cut deep. She knew exactly how her daughter felt. it was like, despite her best efforts to protect her, Bailey was headed down the same path she had gone. Worst of all she had no idea how to help her.
That weekend just after the 4th of July had been DeeDee’s low-point. Worse even than the day she’d found her belongings and her daughter sitting on the curb. The one thing she’d thought she’d done right in life had failed. So on the next Friday night, when Bailey spent the night with Sarah, she had donned a set of clothes she’d picked up at the local Goodwill Store for a self-destructive plan. What she’d really wanted to do was to go out and openly sell herself as a streetwalker. After all, she’d taken money for sex since she was Bailey’s age. And though she didn’t like to admit it to herself, to the man who had provided the financial backing for her little home health company, and with whom she’d been having sex every Sunday for three years: she was effectively a prostitute. Though he paid her in backing a legitimate business venture, and in clothes, lingerie, and jewelry… he was paying all the same. While she didn’t have the courage to go stand on a street corner, she knew the next best thing that she could do to put her in the gutter where she belonged.
DeeDee knew of a notorious redneck bar where there were regular fights and a stabbing or shooting once or twice a year. It took her two glasses of wine to get up the courage to get on her outfit and drive the half-an-hour to the bar along Highway 16, just outside of Eatonton. It was the first time since she was eleven years old that she’d left the house without a bra, and the top she’d worn would blatantly show that off. The fact the very low-cut tank top had a big Confederate battle flag emblazoned on it made her wince, but she wasn’t going to be herself this night.
Once inside the bar, she got exactly the looks she’d wanted. She wasn’t the RN, and professional woman, owner of a small (but successful) business that she had become; rather she was a cheap tramp looking to get laid. In five minutes, she had men on either side of her and a glass in front of her. Half an hour later she had a hand caressing the skin of her bare upper thigh, ten minutes after that she was squatting in the men’s room, sucking that man’s cock. She was not in a stall, rather the man she was blowing was leaning back on one of the lavatories so she was right out in the open. She’d pushed the straps of her revealing tank top off her shoulders so her breasts were fully on display to anyone who opened the men’s room door. In fact, several men had come in while she gave head. Every one of them stayed to watch after they’d done their business. Two of the men didn’t put their dick away but were openly jacking off as they watched her. She was sure it was just what a whore like her deserved.
When the guy climaxed, and she’d made a show of swallowing what he had to give, she got a round of applause. One of the guys with his dick out asked if she’d do him next. She smiled and said her jaw was tired “… right now.”
One of the men who’d watched her suck down the mouthful of cum didn’t leave as soon as she’d finished her work. Instead, he stayed until she’d pulled her top back up & straighten her hair in the mirror before asking her to join him, his wife, and another couple at the pool tables. She said she would love to and took his arm without any mention that she’d been sucking some other guy’s dick just moments before. Even her lack of acknowledgment of her whorish actions made the point of how cheap she was.
He led her to a pool table where two women and a man were shooting. To one of the women, he said “Look what I found in the head!”
A woman, DeeDee supposed her to be his wife, in a revealing eyelet shirt gave her a hug as if they were old friends. She’d clearly been drinking.
The man (called Butch) continued “And guess what she was doing? She was sucking Bill Banks’ dick right out in front of half a dozen guys.”
That seemed to get the other couple’s attention. So he repeated, “Right there by the sink this hottie had her big boobs out and his cock in her mouth till he busted a nut and she swallowed it all.”
The brunette (Cat) who DeeDee supposed to be his wife said “No, you are bullshitting us.”
Butch said “Kiss her. You’ll see I’m right.”
Cat looked at DeeDee with a “May I?” look. DeeDee nodded and in seconds the woman’s tongue was in her mouth. The kiss lasted longer than necessary to ascertain if she’d just sucked cum down, but DeeDee didn’t complain. This was just the kind of treatment she’d come to this bar to get.
When Cat broke the kiss, she turned to the others “Fuck yea. She’s just had a mouth full of cum for sure.” Then she pulled DeeDee close and grabbed her ass “I like her!”
Thus, DeeDee made some new redneck friends.
The guys bought her a few beers and they shot several games of pool. Both men and both women had their hands all over DeeDee. Again, this was exactly how she’d wanted to be treated. Butch sidled up behind her while the other man was running the table. He ground himself into her super short cut-offs. She could feel his hard-on and she looked over to Cat who was right beside them, “I can feel your man’s interest, do you think he will make good, or is it an empty promise?”
With a leer, Cat said, “Oh, if you are up to it, he will most surely make good and I am looking forward to watching him do it.”
Before DeeDee could come up with a response, Butch put his hand up under her tank top and lifted her left breast fully out into the open. She didn’t miss a beat. She just turned back to him, gave him her best smile, and asked “So will this be a threesome with just you two or a five-some with your friends?”
A little less than an hour later, she was on her hands and knees on the living room floor of a double-wide trailer not far from the bar. The big Confederate flag that hung outside the trailer and the velvet “painting” of Elvis on the wall confirmed she’d found the right kind of people. (see endnote) The two husbands aggressively fucked DeeDee’s mouth and pussy at the same time. Tears were going down her cheek as the dick in her mouth repeatedly choked her as he thrust it in. She did not make any sign of objecting. After all, that kind of treatment was what she’d been seeking. As the men shoved their dicks in her mouth and cunt, their “women” watched laughing. While the two horny men had not seen through her “disguise,” their wives had seen her for the middle-class professional woman she was. She suspected the new “Hillary” bumper sticker on her Honda had been the final giveaway since in central Georgia only black people and uppity feminist libtards would have something like that on their car.
As she was taking the two men’s lust, the blond said with a sneer, “So how’s your night slumming with us white trash going? My man can do that all night, so I hope you are up for it.”
The other woman, Cat, added with considerably less venom, “She’s right, Honey. You are going to get the whole experience before you leave. We are going to make sure you won’t forget us.”
What the two wives didn’t know was this was exactly what DeeDee was hoping for. She was getting treated like the trash she believed she was. There was nothing they could do that she was sure she didn’t deserve.
Throughout the long night, she was passed around like a new bauble. Nearly the entire time only one (or sometimes two) of the four were using DeeDee’s body while the others relaxed, drank beer, talked & watched the action. The only breaks DeeDee was given was to go pee out the beer she was drinking as they used her. The one concession they made for her comfort was they had plenty of lube. In addition to taking both cocks in her pussy and mouth over and over again for hours, both men had shoved their dicks up her ass. She’d been fucked in the ass before by one of the doctors, but he’d used copious amounts of lube and took his time to work it in. These guys just shoved it in whenever they felt like it. Thankfully the semen that had collected in her vagina and sex lube they’d been using provided some lubrication, but it still hurt. Though after the third time, the sharp pain was gone. Still, there was nothing she found sexually arousing about having a dick in her ass… other than it made her feel more like the worthless slut she was.
Less than an hour in, she saw Butch empty his balls into the blond, the other guy’s wife. Of the half-dozen loads (or more) of cum that long night, it was the only one that went into either of the other women. When he pulled out, the blond motioned for DeeDee to disengage with her husband. She barked, “Get over here and eat my cream pie. My man doesn’t mind me fucking Butch, but he doesn’t like sloppy seconds.”
She’d only had sex with one woman before, years ago, when she was a student nurse. She’d thought about it many times in the years since, especially after walking in on Sarah going down on her daughter. The experiences she’d had with that woman and her boyfriend had been fun and light… but what she did that night was nothing of the sort. DeeDee had no doubt that the blond meant to humiliate her by having her eat Butch’s cum from her pussy, but it did no such thing. She’d been eating cum since she was thirteen-years-old… and she’d always loved it.
As the night wore on, DeeDee spent a great deal of time with her face in one or the other woman’s pussy. Just like everything about sex, she was a natural at cunnilingus… and like most everything about sex, she liked doing it… a lot. It was after she’d brought each of the women off with her mouth several times that the atmosphere went from jeering of the uppity woman slumming, to an all-out orgy with all four of her playmates intent on using her to get off as much as possible.
A few hours in, someone retrieved some sex toys from the bedroom, and the experience of Cat using a strap-on dildo to fuck her just added to the list of “firsts” for DeeDee. As did the use of several other toys and vibrators she’d never seen before. She’d actually found that having someone use the long vibrating anal probe while she was getting fucked was something she wanted to try again. She was sure the men had cum at least three times each, but it could have been more in the haze that seemed to come over her. No condoms were ever offered and at the end of the night, the sticky residue of semen was spread all over her vulva and upper thighs. She had no idea how many orgasms she’d had (dozens for sure). It was the middle of the night when the last of her new “friends” had fallen asleep and she pulled her clothes back on and left.
The clock on the Honda’s dash read 2:51. She’d arrived at the trailer at 10:25 the night before. She’d had sex for over four hours with hardly a break. Her body was sore all over. Both thighs had been bruised by the rough handling as the men who’d fucked her over and over had gripped them hard. Though she knew she’d metabolized a lot of the booze already, she also knew she should not be driving; but if she got busted for that, or caught some disease, it was just what she thought a worthless piece of shit like her deserved.
She stunk of beer, sweat, and sex. It was exactly what she’d hoped would happen. The only thing that angered her was that… she’d liked it. Even four hours of being treated as a living sex toy without any regard to her feelings had been fun for her. “Fuck!” she said out loud. At that moment, she had every intention of doing it again…and again until any pretense of being a decent woman was gone. Why not? She was sure she was born to be nothing but a cum dump for horny men. Her “other life” as an RN and business owner was just a cover for the real her.
But God had not utterly abandoned DeeDee.
The very next week she had her first extended conversation with Marcy Marshal.
Mrs. Marshal had provided a lifeline, just when she needed it the most. God stepped in to provide her and her daughter with the help they both desperately needed.
In just over a month Mrs. Marshal and then Mrs. Campbell and their teen girls had pulled Bailey back from the abyss. They taught her daughter that her curvy body and her sexuality were not curses from God to strip her of her self-worth; rather they were a blessing to be enjoyed and used to help build rather than destroy her sense of value and self-confidence. In helping Bailey, they had also saved DeeDee, though she was sure they had no idea of that fact.
From mid-July, Baily had been going to the St. Thomas Methodist Church youth group every week. DeeDee initially had been leery of her girl becoming involved in any church. However, from what Baily, Sarah, and Mrs. Marshal (Marcy) said, there was a type of Christianity that was far different from the one she’d grown up with. Their Christianity was full of joy and taught her girl to care for herself and for those in need around her.
All of those thoughts & memories had flashed through DeeDee’s mind in the one minute it took to walk from her car to greet Bonnie Campbell. She took the other woman’s hand and thanked her sincerely for all she’d done for Bailey.
Since she was indeed late and everyone had been waiting for the two of them, Bonnie begged her forgiveness for not showing her around her home as she led her to a large room that she called the kid’s game room. Even with fifteen people (including her and Bailey), the room was not at all crowded, and the chairs and stools gave everyone a clear view of the large screen.
While Bonnie was barely covered, Sarah was totally nude! Nobody there seemed to notice the fact Marcy’s daughter had on no clothes at all. It was like one of those gags on TV where she was the only one to notice. It took a few seconds, but DeeDee recalled Bailey telling her several times that Sarah had declared herself a nudist at the start of the summer and rarely wore any clothes while at her home or at the Campbell’s. That was why nobody seemed to notice. To them, there wasn’t anything unusual going on. But seeing Sarah, completely naked, sitting casually on a stool beside her father was still jarring. The fact nobody else seemed to notice it said a great deal to DeeDee. At least, other than Bonnie, the rest of the adults were fully clothed so she did not feel like an overdressed frump.
A place for two had been saved for her and Baily right up front. After Bonnie made a brief round of introductions, she turned the floor over to Misty. She launched into what turned out to be a three-hour slide/video show by describing the process by which she’d chosen and edited the photos. “Tonight, you will mostly see the story of our trip as seen through my camera lens. The parts where I was not actually present are presented as others have told me about them. The photos of those times were taken with cell phones or Mrs. Marshal’s… I mean Ms. Slosh’s, little waterproof camera. While I encourage all of you to add your two cents worth. To keep this from dragging out too long, please keep in mind that I will try to keep the slide show going the best I can.”
For DeeDee the night pulled back a curtain on a world that, though she’d been told about, she’d simply not understood. There was no question that Misty not only had a gift for taking photographs but the way she’d edited and curated them to tell her story was remarkable. Yes, there was a superabundance of nudity and sex; yet, the story Misty told was not of debauchery, but of friendship and joy. DeeDee found herself so drawn into that story, even the most explicit photos (such as Bonnie taking a teenage guy’s dick up her ass) didn’t seem out of place or exploitive. How Misty had simply made the nudity and sex blend into the background of her narrative was truly amazing. Yet she did.
That did not mean the nudity wasn’t there. DeeDee could not but help feeling a real sense of pride in the absolutely beautiful photos of her daughter at the beaches and later on the boat. There was no question in her mind that Bailey’s glamor photos outshone even those of the statuesque Caitlin. It was hard for her to comprehend that the utterly confident young woman on the screen wearing only the briefest of thong bottoms (or less) was her little girl. Several times she pulled Bailey close to her and told her how proud she was of her or how happy she’d found the confidence in herself to model like that. Deep down though, part of her was jealous that her daughter had the opportunity to do what she’d been fantasizing about since she was fourteen years old.
All through the event, the girls (including Bailey) kept interrupting Misty with anecdotes and clarifications. The side stories by the girls often filled in the sexually explicit parts that Misty had edited out of the photos. When Misty told of the very last night when any remaining restraints seemed to have fallen away, she was interrupted time and time again. Her daughter gleefully told everyone about her foursome with Caitlin and two of the guys. “Red was in my ass and Stephen was in my pussy, but kissing Caitlan while they fucked me was what pushed me to cum. It was the best orgasm I had with two guys in me like that.” The way she told it was just so happy and… well so normal. Several of the other girls elaborated on what Bailey said. Evidently, it was quite the visual treat for the other dozen or so people who’d been spectators. Rather than showing embarrassment, Bailey laughed along with her friend’s descriptions.
DeeDee’s very favorite image however was not a glamour photo, but one of Bailey pointing to a recently filled condom she had just pinned to a bulletin board… their trophy board. Shot from the side, Bailey was looking over her shoulder giving a cheeky wink to the camera. She was totally nude (though her arm blocked most of her breasts from view). The half-dozen fully clothed people that could be seen in the background only magnified the story of her daughter’s self-confidence.
With the photo on the big screen, Bailey turned to her mother and said “Sarah took this pic. I don’t remember whose cum was in that condom, but I’d been doing it with both Zac and Mitch for like hours before this.” The real joy to DeeDee was that her daughter didn’t seem to have any hesitancy to tell her mother (and the other parents) that she’d had sex with both of the boys. Yes, she’d sent photos of those two boys to her when she was still in Miami, and Bailey had been telling her several times a week about her sexual deeds since then; but given her own history, DeeDee marveled at how her girl was willing to talk like that… in public.
The photo spoke to DeeDee because while she too was regularly having sex at Bailey’s age, it was always done in total secrecy. Even though she had been sure of her calling as a Rahab and was confident while she had sex, even with grown men; nobody could ever know about it. The joy she found during sex as a teenager, had always been tempered by the fear someone would find out and the shame of that would have been unbearable. Even now, she’d not told Bailey or Marcy everything about her life as a harlot. When she finally did, she would have to fight the lingering belief that she was dirty. Those feelings maintained a place right beside the belief she served God with her body. Yet her daughter, sitting beside her, clearly had not the least bit of shame, nor the idea that she should have it. That photo summed it all up for DeeDee.
By the end of the slide and video presentation, DeeDee was simply overwhelmed. Not in a bad way, but it was like she’d come to the end of a roller coaster that had begun the night Bailey had told her about her abuse at the hand of the football player. Yet, as it turned out, the negative feelings of worthlessness Bailey had expressed that night were an aberration. Marcy (Ms. Slosh as Misty and the girls had begun to call her) with the help of the other mothers and the club girls had pulled her daughter from that nihilistic path.
But it hadn’t been them alone. Though for a few terrible days, she’d forgotten it, she had indeed done her part for Bailey. Over the past month, DeeDee had begun to understand (allowed herself to remember) that those wonderful people had only reawakened the lessons that DeeDee had been instilling into her girl since that terrible day she and Bailey found themselves homeless. She’d been drilling her girl on ownership of her body and that she should only do things that made her feel good about herself since before her daughter started kindergarten. Then when Bailey was almost thirteen, she’d realized that her daughter was masturbating pretty much every night. DeeDee never mentioned it to Bailey, but she doubled down on teaching the idea that her body was her own and she should do what made her feel good about herself.
Nearly two years ago when she’d realized that Bailey was having sex with Sarah, she’d only redoubled that effort. While DeeDee never addressed her daughter’s activities directly, Bailey had been well-prepared for the application of the principles that she’d been teaching her daughter for over a decade. That had been why she’d directed her girl to Mrs. Marshal and why she’d been as direct as she’d ever been when she told Bailey to try new things and follow the lead of Mrs. Campbell and Misty while in Miami. She’d even given her money to buy sexy clothes. Now, as Lamar Campbell turned up the lights, DeeDee knew, she indeed had been a good mother. AND… contrary to what she’d often thought over the past thirteen years… God had not abandoned her after all.
Misty handed out the flash drives to the girls and moms explaining that while the slide show had been long it was just a fraction of the good photos. She explained that all the drives have all the photos from the slideshow she’d just shown, but she’d given each of them an additional personalized set of photos made up just for them. Looking at Bailey “Your drive has all the photo sets I did of you. There are like two thousand photos just of you… well many are of you and Sarah together, but you get what I mean.” She looked to Haley “Your drive is the same, they have all the sets I shot of you, as well as a good many of you when you were with Caitlin and the Guild people.” Turning to Ms. Slosh she said, “Your drive has two additional sections, one of you and the other moms and one of Sarah.”
DeeDee was sure she and Bailey would be up late looking at photos.
After Misty was done, Ronda began gathering up her crew explaining they had to get up very early in the morning to leave for a rodeo.
Bonnie stepped over to DeeDee “If you have time, I would love to show you our place as I should have done when you first arrived.”
DeeDee was more than happy to follow her host. But before they left the room, Bonnie took time to tell her about two of the large photos on the game room wall. Arriving just in time for the show, she’d not noticed the large photo of Bonnie on the near wall, swimming over a reef (in the nude); nor the photo of the family’s first Miami trip with mother and daughter both wearing only thong bottoms. While neither photo showed genitals or nipples, it was still quite bold to have pictures like that in a room set up for the use of their teenagers. “No wonder she comes across as authentic to the teens at the church youth group,” DeeDee thought to herself.
As they headed to the living room, Bonnie looked to DeeDee and said, “Bailey and Marcy have told me some bits and pieces about you, but I’d like to invite you to dinner Wednesday evening so we can get to know each other better.”
DeeDee liked that suggestion quite a lot and quickly agreed.
When she was shown the FFF Office (Cooper’s Study), DeeDee was stunned at the large, fully nude, photos of Bonnie on the walls. Not only were they nudes, every one of them was simply wonderful and very professional looking. Looking at a pair of them on the far wall DeeDee asked “When were these taken? Not that you don’t look great now, but you are much younger in these two pictures.”
Bonnie smiled “Oh, Cooper took them before we got married. I’ll confess I’m really glad I have them to remind me how I looked in my early twenties. It helps me not to be too jealous of all the pretty teenage girls that hang out here.”
DeeDee laughed and nodded “I bet so. I would so love to have photos like that of me from before I had kids.” She framed her breasts and added “These old girls no longer defy gravity the way they once did…” then she added “like my daughters do now. When I was her age, I had the exact same figure…almost like she is my daughter.”
They both laughed.
Then DeeDee added, “I’ve never had nude photos taken, though I now wish I had.”
Bonnie asked, “Never?”
“Well, the man I have a… an intimate relationship with has taken a good many photos of me with his cell phone, mostly in the lingerie he buys me; but your photos are in a totally different league. Every one of them looks like something from a magazine.”
Bonnie nodded, “Thank you. But it’s not me. It is the photographer. A good photographer really matters.” Pointing to one of the nudes Cooper took of her before they were married, she said “As an architecture student, Cooper was taught about composition, lighting, and such. Photography courses were part of his studies, though to be sure he’d never shot pictures of a naked woman till I twisted his arm to take these.”
DeeDee laughed, “I’m sure you really had to twist hard.”
Bonnie laughed too, “Amazingly, he really was very embarrassed that first time. Though it didn’t take him too long to adjust. He’s been shooting nudes of me ever since, and he is quite skilled. Tonight, I guess you saw that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Misty inherited his talent and is very good indeed. She spent the summer as an intern learning glamor nude photography from one of the best photographers in the country. I can safely say she would jump at the chance to do a photoshoot with you.”
DeeDee’s instant reaction was “Oh, no. I could never do that.” Then a moment later she said “