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Life with Us These Days

It seems that we have most definitely moved into a slower speed phase of life. Yesterday we went to our grandson’s 6th Birthday Party….and that was the highlight of the week.

You laugh, but it was.

Paula at our grandson's birthday party

It seems for us the Covid pandemic may have marked the end of one phase of our life…though we didn’t know it at the time.

Our little “post-career” business keeps food on the table and the power on, but given it’s 24/7/365 nature, it already had eaten into our social life pretty badly since it is hard to get away. It was not that we got Covid, but rather about nine months ago Paula’s health took downturn that keeps her from traveling or going out for more than an hour or so.

Last August we paid for an annual membership at the nicest sex-positive, clothing optional resort we’d ever been to. The best part is that is less than 90 minutes from home, so I can still respond to if I got a call from my business. I’m not sure how we’d missed it all these years. I guess they keep a low profile.

A selfie at 70mph from last fall taking a kidney to a OR for transplant. Certainly I never saw me going from classroom to running a medical courier business

Sadly in October, Paula developed a Parkinson’s like problem in her neck that causes her head to jerk and pull to the left if it is not supported. Though Parkinson’s has been ruled out, so has everything else the doctors have considered and she is mostly housebound. Then last winter she was hospitalized for a week. This month she will see two different doctors, perhaps we will be able to get some sort of diagnosis.

Decades ago we began telling people that having an open marriage does not mean you DO have sex with other people; but rather you CAN do so without betrayal, guilt or risking your relationship. Though we told couples that in a theoretical way, we knew even then that we too one day would have our “social sexuality” limited; and we knew certainly that time would come someday…it is distressing that it is here now. We still hold out hope things will improve, but we can’t build our happiness on that eventuality.

But to be clear, we are not bitter or moping. We take life as it comes. Perhaps we will have a second round of friends and lovers; but if we don’t, we have nothing to complain about.

Of course, I spend a great deal of time in my study working on this website. I certainly understand why people prefer social media to free-standing sites. Not only do I spend some 20 hours a week on it, the financial cost is beginning to drag on us. Just today I had to pay my web-hosting service $210 for my annual renewal.

More than the hosting service the digital illustrations are costly. Acquiring the digital models used to put together illustrations generally costs me about $30-40/week. Though I “build” all the sets and outfits myself, I lack the time or skills to create the basic mesh models. Yes, I know I can obsess over little things that nobody notices.

Take this little test render I made up today. It was to see how Misty’s new camera set up worked (in the pic she’s shooting Caitlin in a museum) . Each component, the camera, tripod, flash, and camera bag all come from different sources. The Today I bought the file for the Nikon flash ($10). While I try to get things as cheap as I can, I have a large cast of people in many different locations which means for each new chapter I have to make new looks. I’ve come to appreciate the work that set and costume designers do in film and video. I have to say that, while time consuming, I enjoy that part of the creative process too.

In my current re-write of Final Freedom I also make small changes to the text so I can make the illustration that match the text. Usually that means adjusting things like descriptions of set design or props in a scene or the clothes people are wearing. I have found that my illustrations help me create a world that is far more “real” because in nearly every chapter I find that some description or another is implausible. This is true of sex scenes more than anything else. When I have to actually make the illustration up, I often see that this or that as described in the text would not be in view or simply was impractical to do.

My son-in-law suggested I set up a Patrion account to give my friends and supporters a chance to participate by helping make it all possible. You know kind of like the pledge drives on PBS/NPR. Understand I am not trying to make money from this project, but rather to defray the costs. is up….I think. Today I plan on giving it some content.

Here is a question I have for you all. Patreon says I should have content just for supporters; yet that goes against my grain. I’ve always given everything away for free since I see this as a altruistic endeavor. I don’t know what to do about this.

At this point, I will treat the content of the Patreon account as an adjunct to my website only putting content there that is also here. I’d love any suggestions. And the truth is I don’t want anyone to think I expect them to provide financial support, this is just for those who can and would like to.

So that is what is up with us these days. I hope your life is going well.

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Wow, sorry to hear about Paula... Hope and pray you can find solutions for that soon. I must say for some time I've been ignoring your website, having already read through much of your stories on Tumblr, but your amazing foray into 3D art has me coming back to reread through your excellent content, made all more realistic by your amazing illustrations. I have no experience with the whole financial aspect and how to raise money... I don't have much to offer but I do want to help, and will be checking out the Patreon.

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