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Our Decades of Open Marriage: Part 17

Updated: Oct 3, 2023

Paula Becomes a Sexual Libertine

By the late fall of 2003, Paula had decided that she did not want to be owned by Dianne; however by use of threats of suicide Dianne kept Paula from ending the relationship entirely. This meant that although I knew she was working on getting her life, and our relationship, back together; it would be a long hard road until she was free from Dianne’s grasp. With the knowledge that her relationship and priorities had changed, it was very easy for me to give her time and space as she found herself again.

For the first time in her life, Paula felt free to begin a period of experimentation. Most young people explore their sexual and personal freedoms in their late teens and early 20’s; but when Paula had been that age she was still in the stifling world of Christian fundamentalism. So at 41 years old, despite the fact we had been in an open marriage for 5 years, she still had a very narrow range of life and sexual experience.

She had been working at Victoria’s Secret for several years by then, and she began to spend a great deal of time with her friends from work. They were all much younger than her and lived the sexually free life of twenty-something’s that Paula had missed when she was their age.

During that fall, she and I had been discussing her increasing desire to have sex with other people. As we discussed it over a couple of weeks she made it clear that she wanted us both to be free to do anyone we wish; however, she said that she did not want to hear about what I do. On the other hand, even though she knew I wanted to hear about what she did with other people, she said she probably would not tell me everything. As such this narrative is spotty. To this day, I have no idea exactly how many men and women with whom my wife had sex during that period, and she has likely forgotten. However, I will relay what I do know.

Over the fall and winter, she totally remade herself. The first thing that changed was that her choices in clothing became much more provocative. Though in the years before she had on a few special occasions worn sheer tops; that fall and especially the next spring, she bought a new wardrobe and as often as not the tops she wore were sheer or semi-sheer. She took a major step to the wild side when she bought two new bras, both of which were ¼ cup in design (i.e. they did not have any fabric over the nipple area) and she wore them regularly. For a year, she went to work nearly every day wearing a sheer top or simply leaving her shirt half-buttoned. Since under the shirt she wore either a sheer bra or one of her bras that exposed her nipples, she knew full well that she was on display to any who cared to look. She dressed this way nearly every day right in the mall. She was already a top seller but she found how easy it was to sell lingerie to both men and women when she dressed like that. Sadly, after a management change the next year, that kind of dress was forbidden at work.

A snapshot of Paula on the phone, on her way to work.

Even more significant to her was the fact that after nearly twenty years of the same hairstyle, she got rid of her 1980’s look and got a new “modern” haircut. This seemed to be the last step to personal freedom because within a week of doing so she had sex with a new man. She had given Dianne’s husband many blow jobs, but she had never let him screw her. This was the first time she’d had another man in her vagina since we married and only the 3rd man in her life.

Though she'd begun going to nightclubs with her work friends in the fall of 2002, in the first few months of 2003, things took a quantum leap forward. Most nights I didn’t go to the clubs with her because they were just too loud and crowded for my liking. On the few occasions I did go, I saw how her dancing was little more than dance-floor foreplay. One memorable night I went with her to Tikki Bobs along with one of her friends, an African-American artist named Ken. Even though I'd seen her getting hot and heavy on a dance floor before, that night took the cake. When I worked my way through the crowd I found my wife, feet off the ground, penned against a pillar. Her legs were wrapped around this man as he pushed his bulging crotch up into hers. When I finally was able to get a place near her, she dropped down and turned around and faced me, bent over and wrapper her arms around me. Ken grabbed her hips and began simulating fucking her from behind. All we needed for a real threesome was to remove our pants. It was so sexy.

Paula dancing with workmates at a local club on "Ladies Night."

According to Paula, she danced this way with many men, and since she rarely wore a bra under her half-buttoned shirts to the club, the men often played with her tits as she danced. Through the spring, she not only "dirty danced" with men, right in front of me, I watched her deeply kiss both men and women on the dance floor and off.

This brings up another sensitive but important point. As I noted in the first chapter Paula has always had much more a need for sex than I. As we moved through our 40’s this became even more pronounced. It would be a few more years before we found I was diabetic which has some…. well….. negative sexual side effects. So it took much more to get my old self up and going, and I very much enjoyed watching her have a good time.

One night in around Thanksgiving of 2004, Paula came home about 2:00 am, even though she’d gotten off work at 10:00 the night before. She said she had gone out and met friends afterward. She woke me up and wanted to play. As I was sound asleep it took her a few minutes until she had played with my dick until it was hard. She lay on her back and waited for me to get on top. I rolled over and slipped easily into her. Immediately it seemed strange. We had been married for sixteen years and I knew what her vagina felt like at different stages of sex. She was not only wet, she was loose, loose like she is after I we've screwed for a good long time.

At first I didn’t say anything. But the more my dick moved around in her the more peculiar it seemed. Finally I said in a joking way “Have you already been fucked tonight?”

She grinned and wanted to know why I asked. I told her how stretched she felt.

I was sure she was teasing me when after a few minutes she said “Yes.”

I was sure she was teasing me so I asked several more times before she said “No, not really.”

Although I knew she had thought about doing other men for some time I didn’t think she would ever actually do so. So at the time I believed that she was just teasing me with her repeated “yes” answer, but “no” was the truth. That was the end of the discussion, until a night a few weeks later.

It started about 6:00 pm and we were getting ready to go out Christmas shopping. I was on the phone talking to Paula’s mother about watching the kids for a little while when Paula came into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of string bikini underwear. She thought it was quite funny to mess with me like this while I was on the phone with her mother. I continued to talk as we began to mess around. By the time the kids were coming up the stairs I had her panties to her knees and was finger fucking her as I talked to her mother.

Just before the kids came around the corner I pulled my fingers from her very wet vagina so she could began pulling up her panties. We were not nearly fast enough, because Misty pointed at Paula going down the hall pulling up her panties saying “I know what you were doing.” with a bemused look.

Finally Grandma stopped talking (she could go on and on) and I hung up the wall phone. By this time Misty had her hands on her hips repeating her statement. I put on the innocent face and said “I was just talking to Grandma.”

“Yea right” was our 12-year-old’s reply.

A little while later Paula was leaning over the counter doing her makeup. By this time she had put on a top and I came behind her and began to grind into her barely covered butt. In short order I had her panties back down and my cock buried in her.

She reached over and shut the door that opened to the hallway as I slowly fucked her. Shutting the door must have brought up a memory because she then said “This bathroom is about the same size of the one at Chiefs.”

As her comment did not seem to have anything to do with what we were doing at the moment, I asked, ”What are you talking about?”

She repeated that our master bath is about the same size of the men’s bathroom at a sports bar in town called Chiefs (her favorite club).

I asked how she knew that.

She said she has seen it and explained "Sometimes the women go into the men’s bathroom there."

I asked why do they do that. She reached back to touch me and said “This” indicating what we were doing.

I said incredulously “You mean your friends have done it in the bathroom at Chiefs?”


“Then how do you know.” I pestered, still stroking steadily away.

“I just do.”


“I just know.”

Then a light finally went on in my head. I asked, “Did you get fucked in the bathroom at Chiefs?”

She just grinned in the mirror.

I again asked “Did you get fucked at Chiefs?”

She looked in the mirror right at me and nodded yes.


Shock number two came when she asked “The last time?”

You’ve done it more than once at Chiefs?”

She nodded.

“How many guys have you fucked?”

“Four. Five if you count the guy who didn’t get in all the way, but only once it was in the men’s bathroom.”

Just at this moment Misty began rattling on the door “Dad, I need you. And I know what you two are doing in there; but I need you now.” We knew the door wasn’t locked and although she had walked right in on us having sex many times; we thought we'd try to be at least the smallest bit modest this time. We both pulled up our underwear. I opened the door as I told Paula she'd have to tell me the rest of the story later.

As we drove to the mall she told me this tale:

It was about two months prior, Paula and Loretta (Paula calls her Loe) went to Chiefs after work as they had been doing since mid-summer about once per month. As usual the two of them get lots of male attention. Loe was twenty-five with the face and figure of a Playmate and screws around a lot. At when she went clubbing, she usually wore nothing under the stretch mini-dresses she liked to wear. Although Paula was then fourty-two she could easily pass for a very hot thirty-year-old. Paula told me, as the night wore on she flirted with the cutest guy there who happened to be their server. Once when he brought a drink Paula told him “I’d like to put this all over your body and lick it off”. The guy and Loe both looked a little shocked. Later when they were paying their tab the guy asked if she were serious about what she said.

By the time she was telling me this story, I had heard Paula flirting this way for over a year. Up until that point even when a guy responded at all, they always backed down in the end. But this guy was wanting to know if she would make good on what she'd said earlier. There was no way Paula would back down in front of her friend, so when the guy pressed to know if she was bluffing. Paula either had to admit she was a fraud or carry on through. He motioned to his crotch and asked what did she want to do with it. She shot back, “Well I won’t put it in my mouth if that is what you are asking.” Suddenly she realized she looked like she was backing down, so she asked him, “Where would you like to put it the most?” He just laughed. Paula loving the game pushed it further by asking a second time, “So, tell me where would you like to put it?” He very meekly mouthed “Your pussy”. Paula looked at Loe who just put up her hands and said “Don’t look at me!” This was Paula’s moment of truth. For several years she had encouraged and embraced a reputation of being a sexual libertine at Victoria’s Secret; however, in truth she had never fucked any guy but her husband and a previous fiancé’. Now the question was, would she have casual sex just for fun as she often encouraged her young coworkers to do? She thought for a minute and said “OK, let’s do it”

As she and Loe got ready to leave the guy checked out on a fifteen-minute break.

At that time Chief’s was located on the second floor in a small office building. I had been there with her several times and we always parked in the parking lot across the street because it is easier to get in and out. Paula, still not sure if she would go through with it, asked Loe to wait with her at the door for the guy. A few minutes later, Paula, Loe and the waiter went to our mini-van. Standing next to the van Paula ran her hand across his crotch and feeling his hard-on. She told Loe to go on because she was ready to do it with the waiter. So, Loe went to her car and left, while Paula got into the middle bench seat of our mini-van.

Paula told me how the waiter undid his pants and pulled out his penis. It was slightly longer than mine, perhaps seven inches long, but skinny. She tried to put on the condom but couldn’t get it to stay. It had been a long time since she'd had needed one. Seeing her difficulty, he put it on himself. Without any warm up, she pulled one of her legs out of her pants and panties, leaned back and spread her legs for him. He knelt in front of her and slipped his stiff member in as far as it would go. For about five minutes he fucked hard and fast. He tried to kiss her but she would not let him. When he came, he simply took off the condom, pulled up his pants and said “Good Bye”.

Alone in the van she put back on her pants. On one hand she felt cheap but on the other she was proud of herself for having the nerve to go through with it. She felt sexy and it had felt good. The longer dick felt different than mine and most important, she was glad she had finally crossed this important bridge. Having gotten up the nerve to break this last barrier, she knew she was finally free to continue down the path.

The next day at work Loe said “Well?”

Paula said “What?”

“Did you?”

Paula smiled and asked “What do you think?”

“You did, didn’t you?”

Paula nodded and tried to suppress her smile. By this time the momentary feeling of being cheap had passed, and she was pretty proud of herself. “Yea.”

With that Lo broke into a “OH MY GOD- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!”

So ended Paula’s story of her first time to have casual sex with as we were pulling into the parking lot of the department store. I was a little blown away, shocked and turned on. I asked about the second time. This story she told as we browsed for Christmas gifts. The other stories were far more abbreviated, but I’m sure a number of people overheard some pretty racy talk that day.

Now that she’d told me she’d been with other people she was more willing to talk about what she was doing. Not all her liaisons had been with men. Over the past year she said she had met and made it with several women. The only one she gave me the details of was with a young woman named Jackie. They had been dancing at Tikki Bob’s and she and Jackie had danced at an incessantly erotic pace, then Jackie suggested they step outside. They wound up in our mini-van (the mommy mobile). After hot and heaving kissing, Jackie unsnapped Paula’s jeans and pulled them down. Right in the parking lot Paula came multiple times from Jackie’s oral stimulation. Two nights later she went to Jackie’s apartment and they spent nearly the whole night in Sapphic pleasure.

She also told me about a young guy named Donnie, she had known him for several years as the erstwhile boyfriend of one of her work mates. She had always thought he was hot and had joked about playing with him, but it had always been just a joke. But in the spring of 2005, she was willing and it went from a joke to reality. It had been months since she had spoken to him, but one night he was going to be at Chiefs with a group of friends. She asked me to go with her and meet her friends. She shamelessly danced in her usual “foreplay” mode in front of me and her friends. After hours of eating, drinking and dancing, only Paula, Donnie and I were still at the club. She was aggressively dry humping him on the dance floor, but when she tried to kiss him he resisted. It seems he was uncomfortable doing that with her husband in the club. The next time they met after some hot dancing, he was much more willing to go further. They left the club and he drove her in his corvette to a local park. She told me how it was past 2:00AM and after they made out for a short time, she got topless, then hiked up her mini-skirt and they screwed for a good while right on the picnic tale.

She never did tell me about having sex in the men's bathroom. All she said was it was no big deal.

With her confession that she was sexually active complete, she was more forthcoming about her sexual liaisons during the next year. It became fairly normal when she’d been out very late for us to have sex when she got home. Inevitably I’d ask if she'd had sex and most of the time she’d give a coy non-committal answer. Several times I was pretty sure she had but would not confirm or deny. One of the few times she admitted that she had was one night when I went down on her right off, and could taste the unmistakable flavor of semen smeared all over her vulva and inside her. She just laughed that I’d caught her.

Not long after that she met Jim. He became the first man to be a real lover rather than a casual fuck. She met him at Tikki Bob's. She told me that within minutes of laying eyes on him she had already decided that she would have sex with him. That statement says a world about not only how far she'd come about embracing her sexuality, but also in the utter confidence in her new persona. He, according to her was very good looking; however, he was struggling with a post-divorce religious guilt problem. Although that first night they went to his house and played around naked, they did not have sex. But later that week she met him and they went to his house and, though of course I was not there to see, she told me how good he felt in her as she sat on him and road him for hours. She was pleased not only he had a very nice penis; he could keep it hard while she sat on it almost indefinitely. She told me that was the most common thing they did over the span of her relationship. She would go to his house, she would sit on him, with his penis inside her, and they would talk and talk.

She met up with him perhaps two dozen times over a three or four month period and most of those times it followed that routine. As I was working long hours and most of her dates were on weeknights, I did not wait up for her. Sometimes I would awake and we would have sex when she got home. It always turned me on that she was a little stretched out from Jim’s penis in her when we had sex. I liked her to tell me what they had done when I was in her, but it always brought me off way too fast. It would take more time for me to normalize her sexual behavior than it did for her.

Many times since then she has told the story to me and ohters about the night she got a wake-up call that she had gone too far. She and Jim had been drinking at a bar and then left for his place. She was following him and he blew through a red light, she hesitated and then went through the same light, just as a police car came up. There was no doubt that if she had been given a Breathalyzer she would have failed, but a good-looking woman in a very low-cut top can get away with a lot. As it was she got a ticket for running the red light, but not a DUI. When she got to Jim’s house she let him have it for running the light that led to her ticket and near DUI. As she tells the story, she told him flatly “We are going to bed for a nap, then I’m going home”. She tells how he wasn’t thrilled by her pronouncement but that is what happened. She took a nap till she was fit to drive and then she came home without having sex. That was the last time she went to Jim’s house.

There were other times that year she was with men or women, but she only gave me the most general information. See, though she was sexually active, she had not yet come to the point in her life that she could do so without that pesky nagging guilt about committing adultery.

She did tell me about two guys. One was the businessman she met who took her to his hotel but as he did not have a condom, though they were already naked and having intense foreplay, he ended up with a hand job as she would not let his bare penis in her. The other was a football player at a local private "Christian" university. More than once he took her to the athletic dorm on campus. To this day I have no idea what they really did.

This was the story of her life from 2004 through 2006.

She was partying and drinking hard as 2006 came to a close; but she realized that her life was getting out of control. The incident with the near DUI was the catalyst and eventually she decided enough was enough. One day about a year later she decided that she had been taking irresponsible chances that she had no business taking. These behaviors included drinking & driving, drunk unprotected sex and going with men she'd just met to hotel rooms. So she just stopped. Cold. She never went back to clubbing on a regular basis.

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