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Our Decades of Open Marriage: Part 30

Updated: Oct 3, 2023

A Difficult Halloween Party

We were invited to a house party for Halloween 2011. Well, we had the best costumes of the evening. That was good, but not too unexpected. Though we've been to enough of these kinds of parties to know only a handful of people put real thought or effort into their outfits, it is still a disappointment to see a "costume party" were 90% of the outfits are cheap off-the-shelf things. Like really is wearing a teddy from the local adult shop really a Halloween costume?

The home where the party was held was very large and beautiful. The couple was well known for throwing the best parties in the area. They had several interesting sex areas set up. One was a sort of rocking activated self-fucking dildo seat.

After a tour of the place, we began to mingle. As house parties go, it was a winner. We already knew several couples from The Estate. As usual, Paula was Miss Sociable. Me, I’m not too into parties myself so I hid out side for much of the evening.

Paula had brought no fewer than three outfits and was determined she would wear them all. That is not unusual at these parties for the women to change outfits midway through the night. She had been a little frustrated earlier when she simply could not get into the leather pants she had worn at Frolicon half-a-year months earlier. She knew she had been gaining weight, but she did not realize she wouldn’t be able to fit into them. I modified them so she could, but it didn’t work too well.

Outfit # 2 was a candy striped nighty, and outfit # 3 was a pink & white striped robe, half-bra, panties, garter, stocking,s and boots. She looked great in all of the outfits.

We were not more than an hour into the party before I realized she’d been drinking too much too fast. Paula had already downed a half liter of a Vodka-blend. While I did not complain that she was dancing hard and nearly naked early on, I knew we would miss the later “wild” part of the evening because she could not keep that up all night.

While she was having fun, I had a couple of women putting out very positive signals of interest in me, but …. well, I’m not too good at that game and never was. I play the passive part of a couple much better than I do that of a single.

It was only a little past 11:00 when she suggested we go upstairs and got naked to play. I didn't mind, but that told me clearly we would be going home long before the party was really in full swing. The first room we went to was the one where she'd been changing her clothes earlier. This time on the room was occupied, but being a swing party that did not keep us out of the room. On the double bed were three couples laying across the bed in a row. Perhaps more correctly it was a group of six that was more or less broken up into three pairs of fucking and sucking. The woman who had given earlier been giving me hints she wanted to have sex with me a little while before, was standing on the ground, bent over the 4-poster bed taking it from behind from a young guy. After a while, the both crawled on the bed and she mounted him as he lay on his back. She was clearly very good at lovemaking and was able to fuck him like crazy moving her hips while her upper torso never moved. One of the other women was on her back getting eaten out by a guy who was standing on the ground and the other couple were fucking in missionary.

Paula bent over the 4-poster’s footboard, very close to the guy on his back being ridden. She was wearing only her boots and wanted me to fuck her as she watched the other three couples.

That’s when the problems began.

I just couldn’t get a full erection. It was particularly frustrating that the live scene right in front of me was better than any porn, yet at best, I got semi-hard, but barely penetrated Paula. Worse yet in my efforts to get a full erection, a tiny pre-mature ejaculation happened. Not an orgasm, one of those cheap imitations that come from nowhere one a year or so and I soon lost the poor erection I had. It was pathetic. Here these guys on the bed had been going hard from long before we arrived, and I was done.

I suggested we go to another bedroom feigning the problem was she was too high leaning over the footboard. So, we went to another bedroom. In the king sized bed was the boyfriend of the woman who had been giving me positive signals earlier. He was on his back with a sexy young woman on all fours sucking him off, while a second woman was behind the first eating her out. It was a big bed, so plenty of room remained. Paula and I got on the bed and began to make out. She rolled over and kissed the other guy and he played with her boobs. She leaned back and offered her rear to me. When the other two women were switching places Paula looked back and said out loud for me to do her while we watched the threesome. She clearly knew I was having trouble.

Still no hard-on was forth coming.

In the end we played for a little over a half hour and I was feeling pretty much like a sexual failure. I went to the first room to dress. The three couples were taking a break, but before long, the girls called for more condoms and they went for another round with different configurations of men and women. The action recommenced before we left the room.

We went downstairs were the party continued. I carried Paula’s clothes and she just had on boots and robe. I felt somewhat humiliated, frustrated and like a fool. We are at a swinger party and my dick wont’ cooperate.

On the way home I began to ponder dark thoughts. “It could have been worse. What If I had gone with that woman and been a dud for her. That would have been worse than being a dud for Paula. I was only 49. Yes, I know I only have one functioning testee and am diabetic, but that shouldn’t mean I’m an asexual. I wondered if I should just suggest she go on her own to future parties, or perhaps just know I won’t participate? Perhaps a trip to the doctor was in order? Perhaps I could ask a friend who is non-monogamous to be a surrogate to help me regain my skills that have clearly waned”. And so the thoughts came.

Early the next morning. Paula was still asleep and I was pondering again. “I really am much too young just to give up on sex.” But clearly Paula and I needed to talk. I hoped she did not have too much of a hangover.

I wish I could say that was a one off problem, but clearly my body had made some sort of turn. I did go to the doctor and found there is help. I can be thankful for Cialis, and even more helpful were testosterone shots every few weeks. But, that weekend things seemed rather bleak. What I didn’t realize was things were about to take a turn for the better.

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Jan 02, 2022

Professor, thanks for trusting your audience with this story. I've wondered from time to time if you were an Eagle Scout. You deserve a merit badge for sexuality.


Jan 02, 2022

I suppose I should go see a doctor... Though I don't think my issue is physical but more psychological... I can still wake up really and fully hard.. But seem to lose it easily and have a difficult time getting it up consciously


Jan 02, 2022

It must be tough when equipment doesn't work. Fortunately, chemicals can correct some of the problems. There is also a body/mind/psyche connection that can interfere with one's performance. Making love should never be about performance but about connection. Thank you for sharing your life with the world.

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