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Our Decades of Open Marriage: Part 49

Updated: Oct 3, 2023

Open Marriage Becomes Passé

By late summer 2013, we reached a new milestone. After months of Paula dating several men regularly and her coming home once or twice a week after she's fucked one of them; I realized that Paula having sex with other men had finally become fully normalized with us. What I mean is that my wife having sex with other men was no longer a special event. We reached that point with her having sex with women more than a decade before; but, until that summer having Paula tell me of her latest lover still had that “kick” of being new. It wasn’t that she hadn’t been having sex with men for years, but it was still infrequent enough that it was noteworthy. There is certainly something lost when the taboo and thrill of the forbidden dissipates, but it is inevitable. It was funny that one day I told her I’d like to join in some of her romps in the bed with her lovers. She said she likes me to join, “But you get board after a while and wander around the room. That is so annoying.” She was right I do get bored after it goes past an hour or two.

One night in August she called about 8:30 PM saying she was headed home with the man with whom she’d just had dinner. He wasn’t a new guy, she’d actually gone out with him on two dates with him. I had met him when the three of us had met for drinks on the prior Saturday night after she got off work. That night she made it home a little past midnight. She told me she’d had a great time and that he was really caring in bed and had terrific staying power. Of course, she had me go down on her as we made love when she got home.

The next morning she talked a little about how she’d soaked two towels from her gushy orgasms. When they moved from the bed to the floor, she made a mess there too. She had recently had her estrogen medication upped, and the side effect was she was more orgasmic and even more prone to “ejaculation” than she had ever been before. The next morning she found one of those “sex bruises” she gets when she takes a particularly hard pounding. When I asked about it, she said “Oh yea, he really did it hard and long.” She let me know that he would definitely join her group of regular lovers.

After telling me all this she jumped on top of me. She began climaxing less than three minutes after she got my penis up inside her, and came twice more in our fifteen-minute morning quickie. Prior to 2011 or so, it had been unusual for her to orgasm via intercourse alone; but by the summer of 2013 it was rare that she fucked in any position without climaxing several times. While we were still screwing, we discussed how it was interesting how her sexual responses have changed over the years. She soaked my side of the bed, so we had to leave the bed unmade all day so it would dry out.

Significantly at the same time our sexual openness had become the unremarkable norm of our life, our twenty-two-year-old daughter became quite comfortable with her sexuality for the first time since she was assaulted six years before. One morning Paula let me know that she and Misty would be going out shopping at a local sex shop after dinner; however, before that mom had a date with one of her boyfriends. Paula left the house at before 1:00 PM wearing her mini-dress and a pair of crotch-less panties to meet her guy. The man she was meeting was a lover she’d been to bed with on several occasions over the past few months. It was not an “if they would have sex” thing; but, rather she left with an expectation of great sex before she met up with our daughter.

At 3:02 PM I sent her a text just to give her a hard time: “Well?”

Five minutes later she texted back: “Having fun baby!!”

At 4:15 PM she called me. She had that lilt to her voice that told me she'd had a great time. She said her guy, whom she called “My Italian Stallion” loved her going out to lunch with him in the mini-skirt and crotch-less panties (no surprise there). She went on to say after lunch they went to his place where she said he gave her five orgasms and she sprayed everywhere. Even with a towel under her she soaked his bed.

When I asked about her being a good girl and using a condom, she just said "I won't answer that" before laughing. I told her she was bad, and even worse she wasn't coming home so I could eat her out afterward. She said “I’m sorry but I’m meeting Misty and I doubt you’ll be able to taste anything after that long. I know you like that but spending time with Misty is important....even if you miss out.” She knew I wouldn’t be mad.

The last week in August she did something she hadn’t done in several years. She spent the whole night with one of her lovers. She called me from a restaurant and asked if I minded if she stayed overnight in a hotel with him. It had been a very long time since she spent the night with a lover but I was still lonely that night. I didn’t resent she was gone; I was sure she would have a good time and was also sure that if I asked her, she would come home whenever I asked. But I didn’t do that.

The next morning, she said she had worn him out. She specifically pointed out that although she doesn’t really love giving all guy’s oral sex, she really liked his penis. She said, “Man, I went to town on his penis big time. I just had him a squirming.”

I'll close with a short anecdote that I posted on my blog that month.

Update July 18, 2013: 5:45 AM

A little event this morning is a good illustration of how an open marriage works well for everyone. Earlier Paula was sexting one of her recent lovers. It seems they were both having a hard time sleeping. After doing this for a while he tells her to “go give your husband a blow job, then call me and tell me how it went.” She liked his suggestion, so I wake up to a blow job. Not that I'm complaining, but it was like 4:00 in the morning. Once she got me plenty hard, she got on top of me and we fucked till I came. Then she used her vibrator to have three orgasms in less than ten minutes while I tried to go back to sleep. She then called him and they both masturbated while she tells him all about what she'd just done. She then went back to sleep. OK, I guess both of them went back to sleep. I’m now awake. So, I'm here writing this update. So, it goes in a life with an open marriage.

So, our open marriage had finally just become an unremarkable background to our life.

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Dec 04, 2022

Open marriages requires trust and care from both partners. Not many men would allow their wives to share their honeypots with other men. People need something extra and that is called compersion - "the feeling of taking joy in the joy that others you love share among themselves, especially taking joy in the knowledge that your beloveds are expressing their love for one another. —Polyamory Society2 ... While erotic compersion can be powerful, deriving pleasure from your partner’s other relationships goes deeper for most people. In an ideal world, when your partner is happy, you’re happy, even if you have done nothing to provoke her happiness. But this may be easier said than done for folks who wrestle with jealousy.…

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