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Our Decades of Open Marriage: Part 61

Updated: Sep 24, 2023

Spring Flings

April and May of 2014 were busy for Paula, few weeks went by without a couple of dates. All the while I was busy teaching my graduate school classes four evenings each week. During that time, she was seeing Mr. New York and Anderson on a regular basis. Nearly every week she had a hotel date scheduled with one of the two; however, both men had busy schedules and all too many times their dates got canceled for one reason or another. This was why she continued to meet new guys. As she explained it to me, she kept in the dating pool because she would really like a third regular boyfriend.

It was during this time that she got a reminder about the care a woman must take to ensure her safety when dating, whether she is married or single. All through late March and April there was a man who had been pursuing her. She’d gone out with him for dinner a couple of times, but was just not sure about him. Something just didn’t seem right, he was nice and cute, but something didn’t ring true to Paula. She told me that she feared, “He is the kind of guy that when you said no he would continue on and date rape me.” Significantly, when she told him that I would need to come on their next date, he never contacted her again.

Old lessons proved valuable in this.

However, Paula wasn’t always so careful, even with her ‘no sex on the first date’ policy. In early April she met a new guy for a meet and greet at her favorite sports bar. She'd been chatting with him for a couple of weeks online and on the phone, and once she met him for an in-person date, she found she was very attracted to him. She made a point to tell me that she had asked about his thoughts about the guys in a threesome doing each other. He said he’d never done it, but would be interested in trying it with us. They went out to the parking lot and began to make out. He was a good kisser. Soon, standing next to her car in the darkened lot, her shirt was open and she let him push her bra up over her breasts so he could suck them. She was quite turned on and so she just kept on going even though she knew full well anyone walking to their car would surely see them going at it.


Not long after, her pants were down to her thighs as he fingered her. She told me that she was quite tempted to let him fuck her right in the parking lot. Later on, when she told me about what happened, she laughed and said, “I was about to bend over against my car and give him a trial run right there between my car and his. The only reason I didn't was that I didn’t have a condom with me… well actually I was turned on enough to have sex with him without one, but I really didn’t want to drive home with wet & gooey pants….again.”

A few days later she asked me to join them for a breakfast date. He was nice, but seemed not to know how to talk to me. When the three of us went to a local hotel he was so nervous with me there, I was afraid he would never get an erection if I stuck around. So I decided it was safe to leave her alone with him. As it was, he was really new to the idea of dating a married woman and in less than an hour she called me to come get her because they were done. She said he was good enough because he is really nice, but he'd need some training in bedroom skills.

A few days later they had a third date. This time it was for dinner and they went to a hotel afterward. She surprised him by stopping by the bakery and buying an éclair for their playtime. Of course she'd done this with men before, and not surprisingly, he liked the éclair play every bit as much as Mr. New York had. She later told me that she was helping him with his sexual skills and he was better the second time. He called twice the next day to tell her how much fun he had and he wanted to get together again with her very soon. However, that relationship just didn’t work out. We find that a high percentage of men can’t maintain a poly type relationship, and this was just one of those cases.

In early April we arranged to have Mr. New York, meet us on a Sunday morning for a sexy photo shoot at a popular park downtown. I had tried to convince Paula that we needed to get there by 7:00AM, even on a Sunday, so as to not have to deal with the difficulties of shooting semi-nude photos in a park full of people. Mr. New York was invited specifically to be our “lookout”, but still I knew we needed to get going early.

Paula didn’t heed my concerns about the time and we did not arrive downtown until 9:00. It was an absolutely beautiful spring day, and as we looked for a place to park, the families were just coming out. My dear wife still insisted we were not too late saying there were only a few families on the sidewalks. So, we parked the car and made our way to where I wanted to begin shooting. Not only was the park not empty, but when we got to the place where I wanted to shoot, there was already a professional photographer working with a client. Not only that, on the amphitheater stage in plain view of my intended spot, a group of younger people were just getting started with yoga. So much for what I planned to shoot. To make matters worse yet, by 9:30 when we’d found an alternate location, the sun was clear and bright which would make shooting difficult due to strong shadows. I had not brought my big reflector board since the plan had been to be inconspicuous in shooting sexy photos in a very public place. In the end I wished I’d brought it anyway.

Mr. New York arrived just as I was ready to shoot. He brought coffee that delayed us further, but finally we got started. Right off it was clear that our alternate location, the river walk, was getting busy so our shoot would be curtailed before it had really begun. Not only was the park getting busier by the minute, it was disproportionately families with little kids.

Only after Paula changed into her second outfit did we realize that this was not just any weekend at the park, the annual “Duck Derby” was being held on the river. Far from having the privacy I’d expected, our location became a zoo of families with young children, vendors and activities.

We were able to get some photos, but between the crowd and the bright sun, it was not the most productive shoot I’ve ever had. Mr. New York was a lot of help and with him present Paula was more willing to keep shooting longer than she usually will for just me. Of course, I gave them time for themselves and I know both of them enjoyed the outing.

OH... before we made it out, she got a big hug from the "Rail Road Bear."

One funny thing happened though. After shooting Paula and I passed by the city's nicest hotel. It is a 1920's era landmark that had been completely renovated a few years back into a showplace. I commented on how I’d love to shoot photos there. She offhandedly replied, ”Yea I've been there before.” Well…. we had been in the bar with friends a few times so I've said that we've never been upstairs. She cuts me a look and says "I have." I said "Really? When?” She got that smile on her face and said it had been about six months prior but the guy had not been very good in bed so she'd never bothered telling me about it and never went out with him again. Occasionally she pulls those kinds of things on me. She likes keeping her secrets and dropping them at the oddest times.

A week or so later Paula called me giggling like a school girl. She had met Mr. New York for breakfast and they went to their regular hotel but it was full. So they went to a second hotel and it was full also. When she called, they had just gotten a room at a Super 8 on the highway. She said “Oh well, it's not as nice as what we usually use but I'm sure it will be good enough.”

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Sep 27, 2023

I wish we had the courage to go and shoot photos like that.


Sep 24, 2023

Life sometimes throws a few wobblies we have to deal with. The shoot in the park and Paula's dates are examples of what we have to do to make the best of the situation. Thank you for sharing this.

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