One of the reasons I began blogging was to clarify and organize my thoughts on topics. I am trying to lay out a systematic approach to the discussing the topic of sexual orientation. Based on my years or research and experience here is what I’m thinking. Yes this is a direct challenge to Queer Theory. Perhaps it might help you in thinking through this.
Part I - Truisms
Humans are born with an emotional need for belonging, affection and validation.
Humans are socialized to how to get their emotional needs met.
Until puberty humans do not develop a biological urge to have sex, though children are socialized to act in ways that mimic an internal sex drive.
By the time humans are aware of their sexual urges, they have already been socialized on how to express them and how to get them met.
The socialization process is vastly complex, too complex to systemize.
Genetically carried traits significantly impact the how the socialization impacts emotional and sexual desire.
Humans can get their emotional and sexual needs met from the same person (or type of person) or from deferent people (or types of people)
Part II - Implications
Prior to the onset of puberty, children do not have sexual needs; thus they do not have sexual preferences. What is often interpreted as early sexual orientation is the development of gender based patterns in meeting emotional needs.
When people say “Sexual Preferences” it usually is meant to mean several components of emotional attraction as well as sexual attraction; however, and there is reason to suggest all the different types of attraction will line up with one person, one gender or one group.
Emotional/Sexual attractions nearly always change over the life cycle and are impacted by very many things, including but not limited to: societal expectations, availability, life events, values changes and social status.
Efforts to shape, limit or encourage other peoples sexual/emotional attractions is a futile and often harmful project.
Part III- In Regard to Straight & LBGTQA et al.
No one is born heterosexual or homosexual because adult sexuality comes with puberty.
The complex nature of childhood gender role development defies an ability to attribute causes.
The concept of mono-sexual homosexual (i.e. gay & lesbian) is a socio political construct that is very modern in origin.
The rise of self-identity based on sexual interests as a common behavior has no precedent in human history and is a result of the decline of traditional ways of identity making (religion, class, family, profession, etc.).
Sexual identity should be seen to be more about identity and community than it is actually about sexual desires.
Most people will find themselves emotionally and or sexual attracted to both males and females over their adult life course, nearly half will act on that desire at least once.
Homoerotic imagery is a key element in mainstream commercial porn to feed and fill the gap between homosexual desires and behaviors.
Social history shows that absent social prohibitions to the contrary, most people will act on sexual attraction to both sexes
There is a growing rise in the acceptance of people who do not identify as part of the queer community to occasionally engage in homoerotic behavior.
The reason the gay/lesbian leadership attack the bisexual identity is that the very existence of bisexuals undermines their claim to be fundamentally “different” based on their perceived unique homosexual urges.
The proposition that western society could return to the normalizing of bisexual behavior as it was in the Hellenic world undermines Queer Theory which acts like a quasi-religion.
Hence the L/G leadership insists that humans must be mono-sexual