I am a septuagenarian man. I am multi-orgasmic. Here is the recipe.
It is for masturbation. So far, I have been unable to be fully multi-orgasmic during partner sex, but partner sex has become even more enjoyable. One way it has become more enjoyable is that I have experienced sympathetic orgasms, that is, I have come when my partner has, without any contemporary stimulation of my penis, anus, tongue, or nipples.
There are three components to this technique: complete relaxation, attention to deliberate and delicate touch, and a certain kind of breathing.
This breathing is difficult to describe, so I will begin with it. The difficulty is that it requires flexing muscles whose names neither you nor I know. I haven’t been able to think of another behavior in which I do what I do when pleasuring myself this way, although I could make a sound, if we were in the same room, and you would be able to hear that sound and know what I’m suggesting. Aaaangngnngng. There.
Here’s an exercise to get you closer to know what muscles to flex.
The next time you yawn, notice that the identifying feature of the yawn is muscular. Yawning’s muscular action is not the action that you want for this technique, but your attention is in the right neighborhood now.
Lie on your back. If you use a pillow, put it under your neck rather than under your head. Tilt your head back and open your jaw wide. You want your throat as open as it can be. Experiment with ways of changing your throat’s shape. Exhale. Begin the breath high in your chest. Imagine that your windpipe continues past your lungs, and goes all the way to your penis. As you exhale, feel the breath coming from lower and lower in this imaginary windpipe. (Remember that this is all one exhalation.) As the breath goes lower, expand your belly. This is contrary to normal breath in which the belly contracts to help the diaphragm push the air out. What I think I’m doing is stimulating the Vagus Nerve, a nerve which leaves the brain via the roof of the mouth and travels through the lungs and gut, reaching as far as the genitals. (I have read that researchers have traced the Vagus Nerve as far as the cervix in women, speculating that it goes as far as the clitoris. My source didn’t mention men, but I would imagine that it goes to homologous places in the male body.)
So, let’s call this Vagus Breathing.
Relaxation is essential. Don’t try to get aroused or feel stimulated. That will come. Just let the fuck go! I have some theories about the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, but they’re probably bullshit. After you have Vagus Breathed one time, take five normal breaths. With each breath, sink back into relaxation. Let go completely. If you have a meditation practice, you might use it for these five breaths. I follow Emily Fletcher’s Ziva method, which is completely secular, and New Age-free. Her book is Stress Less, Accomplish More. The meditation isn’t necessary for this technique (although it’s a good idea in general). It’s just a sure way to relax, and relaxation is absolutely necessary.
Go through several cycles of Vagus Breathing and five-breath relaxation before stimulating yourself with your hand. What you want is a mild excited sensation in your body, particularly your gut, chest, and the roof of your mouth, a sensation that feels more like caffeine than sex. At first, you may do the Vagus Breathing a bunch, and not get it. That may be because you haven’t gotten the muscular part right, you didn’t relax, or you started jacking off. I hope you enjoyed your ejaculation. Try again later or tomorrow. It will happen. It took me a while to figure it out. Eventually, you will be able to use your hands as soon as you start the breathing, and get orgasms, even without the five breaths. Even after you become expert, though, you will find that relaxing breaks and delaying gratification, will intensify the experience.
Once you have established the excited sensation in your body, you may gently, delicately, tentatively begin to touch yourself. For a long time, I got more satisfaction from stimulating my nipples than from my penis. This may have been because I was so used to rushing ahead to make myself squirt, that I couldn’t savor all the pleasure that my penis can feel.
Let’s talk about what I’m calling an orgasm.
Hot jism doesn't gush from the meatus of the urethra, and you don’t get the attendant contraction and release of the muscles behind your balls. A fair amount of clear fluid may seep out, but there’s no rush of semen. (Having masturbated the way I’m describing for a half hour or so, you may find your ejaculatory orgasms to be more explosive, and longer than usual, but forget about that for the time being. Once you’ve squirted, you’re done.)
What it does feel like is a sudden, pleasurable, involuntary tensing of your body. My back arches and my knees come up, then I rock my hips forward, and stretch my legs, tensing their fronts and my abdomen, especially my lower belly. Sometimes my head lifts, and it can ratchet up and down for a couple of seconds. I continue my Vagus breathing and touching myself through and after the orgasm, although I may move my hands from my penis to my nipples or vice versa. One orgasm may follow another closely, but they are not continuous. As the sensation builds to another orgasm, I redouble my relaxation. I try not to come, but the sensation gets so strong that I can’t help it. It is a wonderful sensation, but so is the sensation between orgasms.
When I tell you to touch yourself delicately, I’m not kidding. I barely touch the tips of my nipples at first. (After they stiffen, they want stronger manipulation.) I keep breathing, and sink back into relaxation. At the beginning of a session, it helps to take the five-breath breaks. It took me a while to figure out how important the breaks are, and how nice it is to let my muscles loosen. The next time you have sex, solo or partnered, notice how you tense your muscles to move closer to coming. To succeed with this technique, you’re looking for something else. It’s going to get every bit as intense as you'd like in a few minutes.
When I discovered masturbation, I noticed that the initial sensation felt nice, and I sort of promised myself that I would linger on it next time. The urge to come was too powerful for my prepubescent willpower, and every time I’d rush ahead to ejaculation. It took me decades to get back to the real pleasure.
I am circumcised, so uncut men will have to adapt my technique to their own penises’ landscapes. There is a tiny ridge, urethra side, leading up to the cleft in my glans where the semen comes out. It is the color of my shaft, rather than of the glans, and maybe a millimeter wide and less than a centimeter long, ramping from shaft to glans. It pretty much disappears when I get hard. I touch this and the puckery skin around it with a fingertip. How hard? Just barely. Maybe I stroke it, but slo-o-o-o-owly. Maybe I keep the finger still, the erotic charge spreading from the site of contact. No matter what my fingers are doing, I keep my attention on the sensation.
Take a five-breath break. (After a while you can take a lot of Vagus Breaths between breaks.)
Return to stimulating yourself, beginning with the Vagus Breath. What you want is to strengthen the breath's sensation, then give it a boost with gentle erotic stimulation. It’s actually more pleasurable at first when your penis is soft. As you learn what you’re doing, the sensation of getting hard feels pretty great, but beginners, stay soft.
If I get hard doing this, the erections are long-lasting. Sometimes I will do some non-vagus breath-work to make a hard on go away. The feeling of touching my penis after breathing a hard on away is more pleasurable.
As you continue, you will linger longer on your penis, but don’t try to go fast or stroke yourself too firmly. The point, and what will get you the full-body, non-ejaculatory orgasms, is to savor every moment. I do touch my nipples pretty firmly, but not my penis. I suspect that everybody’s practice will be different, so I haven’t gotten too detailed about how to touch yourself. I will say that I’ve found that lubricant gets in the way. That this can go on quite a while probably tells you something about the delicacy with which you need to touch yourself.
I’m curious about whether this will work with women. My wife thinks it would be too much trouble, so if this appeals to any female readers, let me know how it works. Men, too. When I started masturbating decades ago, I thought I’d discovered the secrets of the East. Little did I know how common what I was doing is. This time, I think I’m on to something.
Crib Sheet:
Vagus Breathe; Tilt your head back and open your mouth, breathing out through a widened windpipe. As you exhaust your breath, expand your belly.
Relax; take five normal breaths between Vagus Breaths, sinking deeper into relaxation with each exhalation.
Touch yourself very gently, focusing your attention on the sensations of sexual pleasure.
Thanks, very informative
Several years ago, this technique was shown to me by my urologist, he told me it was a new technique for him to recommend. He had success with a few men but could not guarantee that I would have any success. This may work for this gentleman, but after several months I found for me that it was pure bullshit.
Interesting
Interesting.