what does anyone here think about parents masturbating openly as part of sex positive parenting? displaying self stimulation of your genitals to set the example of masturbation being normal, healthy, and encouraged.
Are you talking about a textile or naturist household, mr. bridgman?I think it's something that can be progressed to, but like other things it should be done with guidelines or 'boundaries' of the household. But these boundaries should be no greater—but also no less—than for other behaviors. When we’re hungry, we eat; when we’re tired, we sleep; when we have waste, we excrete and eliminate; when we feel urgent, we masturbate. Many households establish rules for these behaviors and needs: we eat in the kitchen; sleep in our bedrooms; go to bathroom. So there should be a dedicate or preferred space for everyone to masturbate. Ideally it should bear no more weight than any other behavior at home: Saying, “Hey, excuse me for a few, I need to masturbate—I’ll be right back” should not be frowned upon or perceived as ‘weirder’ than saying, “Hey, excuse me a sec—I gotta go to the bathroom,” or “I’m running to the kitchen, I need a snack. Can I get you anything?”
Masturbation with children looking at it does not seem The best way to learn them that it is allright to do it. It seems better to me to discuss it in a more one-to-one situation without demonstrating. On of the things we should leave our children to find out is how it can be done best. Telling them that it is OK and that everybody does it, seems enough to me. When they ask for a live demonstration it is early enough to decide about a demonstration.
I think Wanton Salon's comment answers the what's-right question: "I don’t know that masturbation itself needs to be modeled; I think children—as I believe the Professor has noted elsewhere—are adept at discovering their genitals as sources of pleasure and comfort. Their touching their own genitals shouldn’t be discouraged. Positive attitudes and behavior around masturbation should be reinforced. As I mentioned earlier, I think having a preferred spot for masturbating is wise. Then, it’s no surprise what goes on there: you eat in the kitchen, you masturbate in room X. If you are walked in on while masturbating, treat it like you would being walked in on while eating. If your child needs help, stop; if you’re child has a question, pause and answer it; if your child has a request that’s not pressing, simply say, “Honey, as soon as I’m finished, I’ll be right there.” " I think I remember the Professor's explaining what's against the law, but I don't remember what he said. In any case, he'd know.
. @sugarlessroark that makes alot of sense, thanks! But on the "pause for their question" part, does that mean I just freeze while still holding my dick as I answer their question, or do I let go? Cause I wouldn't want them to think that what I was doing was shameful, Only pausing like a freeze-frame to talk to them.
I'm curious about this too. In a sex-positive home, do I stop masturbating if my kids walk into the room? What if they are just starting out themselves, or what if one of my daughters asks to see how guys do it? Do I continue until climax while explaining as best I can or do I stop & politely decline?
I woke up from a nap once with my daughter fondling my penis through my shorts.
I woke up the first time and calmly turned over onto my stomach, pretending I was still asleep. In reality I'm like, was she doing what I think she was doing. I'm too nervous or dumb to bring it up for discussion after waking. Fast forward a few nights later and she does it again, she snuck into my room, locked the door, slip a flimsy chair over against same door and fondled and lifted the leg hole to peek inside. This is when I sat up and she freaked, crying, scared, etc. I calmly told her I wasn't mad and she wasn't in trouble, but asked why are you touching and trying to look at daddy's privates? When she calmed down she told me she wanted to do what her brother does to make himself feel really good.
I knew she saw him masturbate before and she masturbated herself by humping her teddy bear. Well I put a stop to it explaining what the "eyes of society" thought about incest and pedophilia. She understood and quit touching me. Almost overdoing it with super avoidance of me.
Did I handle this wrong? What could I have done better? I know this is a touchy subject, and apologies if this is totally wrong to share here. A DM is welcome if people are not comfortable with this situation. Thanks
On reflection I don’t know that I directly answered your question, mr bridgman. Everyone’s household is going to be different: One’s own upbringings, textiled vs nude, etc. At the core, what needs to be modeled is respecting the body—yours and your loved ones—and respecting their hearts as you would your own. The ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ principle. Model love and respect and dignity.
I don’t know that masturbation itself needs to be modeled; I think children—as I believe the Professor has noted elsewhere—are adept at discovering their genitals as sources of pleasure and comfort. Their touching their own genitals shouldn’t be discouraged. Positive attitudes and behavior around masturbation should be reinforced. As I mentioned earlier, I think having a preferred spot for masturbating is wise. Then, it’s no surprise what goes on there: you eat in the kitchen, you masturbate in room X. If you are walked in on while masturbating, treat it like you would being walked in on while eating. If you’re child needs help, stop; if you’re child has a question, pause and answer it; if your child has a request that’s not pressing, simply say, “Honey, as soon as I’m finished, I’ll be right there.”
None of this, or course, can happen in a vacuum. It requires open and honest communication, and the freedom to ask questions and get honest answers. And that has to happen along the continuum of their development.
@Wanton Salon i habitually masturbated around my house growing up with my parents' acceptance and want feedback from others about raising kids of my own with the same allowance
@mr.bridgman That’s interesting! I wish my upbringing was like that. Was yours a textiled or nude home? How did your folks frame that freedom and ease for you? And how are you thinking of raising your own kids? What do you feel your folks did right? Where do you feel you can improve?
I couldn't do it without a lot of "subconscious" that would make it creepy. I have an idea very few could. Maybe another generation. Also, Honi soit qui mal y pense, but there are too many today who would think it bad.
Are you talking about a textile or naturist household, mr. bridgman? I think it's something that can be progressed to, but like other things it should be done with guidelines or 'boundaries' of the household. But these boundaries should be no greater—but also no less—than for other behaviors. When we’re hungry, we eat; when we’re tired, we sleep; when we have waste, we excrete and eliminate; when we feel urgent, we masturbate. Many households establish rules for these behaviors and needs: we eat in the kitchen; sleep in our bedrooms; go to bathroom. So there should be a dedicate or preferred space for everyone to masturbate. Ideally it should bear no more weight than any other behavior at home: Saying, “Hey, excuse me for a few, I need to masturbate—I’ll be right back” should not be frowned upon or perceived as ‘weirder’ than saying, “Hey, excuse me a sec—I gotta go to the bathroom,” or “I’m running to the kitchen, I need a snack. Can I get you anything?”
Masturbation with children looking at it does not seem The best way to learn them that it is allright to do it. It seems better to me to discuss it in a more one-to-one situation without demonstrating. On of the things we should leave our children to find out is how it can be done best. Telling them that it is OK and that everybody does it, seems enough to me. When they ask for a live demonstration it is early enough to decide about a demonstration.
I think Wanton Salon's comment answers the what's-right question: "I don’t know that masturbation itself needs to be modeled; I think children—as I believe the Professor has noted elsewhere—are adept at discovering their genitals as sources of pleasure and comfort. Their touching their own genitals shouldn’t be discouraged. Positive attitudes and behavior around masturbation should be reinforced. As I mentioned earlier, I think having a preferred spot for masturbating is wise. Then, it’s no surprise what goes on there: you eat in the kitchen, you masturbate in room X. If you are walked in on while masturbating, treat it like you would being walked in on while eating. If your child needs help, stop; if you’re child has a question, pause and answer it; if your child has a request that’s not pressing, simply say, “Honey, as soon as I’m finished, I’ll be right there.” " I think I remember the Professor's explaining what's against the law, but I don't remember what he said. In any case, he'd know.
I'm curious about this too. In a sex-positive home, do I stop masturbating if my kids walk into the room? What if they are just starting out themselves, or what if one of my daughters asks to see how guys do it? Do I continue until climax while explaining as best I can or do I stop & politely decline?
I would see very few problems with that.
On reflection I don’t know that I directly answered your question, mr bridgman. Everyone’s household is going to be different: One’s own upbringings, textiled vs nude, etc. At the core, what needs to be modeled is respecting the body—yours and your loved ones—and respecting their hearts as you would your own. The ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ principle. Model love and respect and dignity.
I don’t know that masturbation itself needs to be modeled; I think children—as I believe the Professor has noted elsewhere—are adept at discovering their genitals as sources of pleasure and comfort. Their touching their own genitals shouldn’t be discouraged. Positive attitudes and behavior around masturbation should be reinforced. As I mentioned earlier, I think having a preferred spot for masturbating is wise. Then, it’s no surprise what goes on there: you eat in the kitchen, you masturbate in room X. If you are walked in on while masturbating, treat it like you would being walked in on while eating. If you’re child needs help, stop; if you’re child has a question, pause and answer it; if your child has a request that’s not pressing, simply say, “Honey, as soon as I’m finished, I’ll be right there.”
None of this, or course, can happen in a vacuum. It requires open and honest communication, and the freedom to ask questions and get honest answers. And that has to happen along the continuum of their development.
I couldn't do it without a lot of "subconscious" that would make it creepy. I have an idea very few could. Maybe another generation. Also, Honi soit qui mal y pense, but there are too many today who would think it bad.