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Our Open Marriage: Part 5

Updated: Oct 3, 2023

Our First Open-Marriage Experience

In 1996 I took a job running a branch of a multi-faceted Christian ministry. The job required a move halfway across the country to Anderson, Indiana, a dying city in the rust belt. We HATE moving. Paula particularly hated it because she had made many good friends where we had lived for the past 4 years. She is definitely a people person and the whole process was hard on her.

An "art nude" I took through our bedroom window at this time

The transition to the new job went smoothly. We joined a local church, but after about eight months, we had yet to develop any close friendships. The only interesting thing was we were experimenting with more creative nude photography with some very good results. I was clearly getting better at it.

One Sunday on the way home from church Paula told me about a woman with whom she had shared nursery duty during the main church service. She told me the woman had talked quite a bit about the great sex she had been having of late with her husband. Such talk at church was very unusual, even scandalous. We agreed this might be the kind of couple with whom we might like to spend time.

The house we bought when we moved to town the prior August had an unused swimming pool. We had worked all spring to make it serviceable for the coming summer. Since we had small children we knew a fence to separate the pool from the rest of the yard was a must. The Saturday after meeting this woman in the nursery, we had planned to put up the six foot privacy fence around the pool deck. This couple, whom we really did not know, volunteered to help us. As it turned out we hit it right off with both the wife and husband. In a few short months we all became close friends. It helped that their two children were both born within months of our two. Thus not only did we get friends, our 4 year old and 2 year old got a pair of instant playmates.

Paula and Dianne (the wife) became very close over the summer and fall. She was an athletic woman of average (but muscular) build, very outgoing and as I found out very photogenic. Both women had a favorite topic of conversation: sex. Together they went to lingerie shops all over the region. They even looked at and discussed the merits of sex toys together, but that was as far as it went for the first half-year or so.

The dynamic changed suddenly and unexpectedly when we were just hanging out at their place late on a Saturday afternoon, while the kids played in the next room, Dianne said something to the fact that she was hot and could just go topless. Tom (her husband) jokingly said, “I dare you” Paula and I just laughed, but Dianne stood up and lifted her tee shirt and bra to her chin. Of course this was totally unacceptable behavior for the wife of one of the church deacons. He was stunned and we were tickled. Her surprise action started the four of us on a path that would take us places we did not even know existed.

It was a week or two later when they were at our house when I suggested since we’d seen her tits, I could show Dianne our photo book of Paula’s nudes. She quickly said yes, but stipulated that Tom must sit across the room where he could not see. Though the album was not nearly as large or nice as it later became, it still had perhaps 60 of the best images of my wife. The girls looked at it together for a while and Tom pouted. He thought it unfair he could not see especially since I had seen Dianne’s tits for real. After some time and my approval (very willingly given) the girls let him look at the book.

A self-portrait of the two of us that I had shot just months before we first showed our photobook

We both found it was a real turn on to watch him stare at nude photos of my wife. For domestic political reasons he made no comments as he looked (Dianne could be rather jealous).

After that event the explicitness of the sex talk among the four of us continued to escalate. Additionally a new dynamic was turning up. Paula was feeling strong sexual attraction to Dianne. Now this had happened with the last close friend we had before we moved to the mid-west. Paula and I actually both had been strongly sexually attracted to a woman at church (our former pastor’s wife) who had separated from her very conservative husband while we knew her. The woman had actually borrowed our sex tapes and before we moved had told us about making love to her new boyfriend. She said due to our encouragement and videotapes it had been her first truly satisfying sexual experience in years. Paula began telling me that she wanted to have sex with her friend. As I've written, we had agreed some years before that Paula was free to have sexual relationships with others if she desired. So, finally less than two weeks before our planned move, Paula went to her office at a local bank to directly ask if she would be interested in experimenting with Sapphic love together. Unexpectedly, just before Paula could make the proposition, her visit was cut short by a business emergency. She never had the opportunity to ask again.

Thus, Paula was once again desiring to have sex with a close female friend. After a few weeks of hearing about this, I suggested that she let Dianne know how she felt. She resisted for a week or so. There sex talked continued and Dianne was becoming ever more forthcoming about her sexual appetites. She told Paula that while Tom had been the first guy she'd fucked, she had been a masturbation fiend from her mid-teens onward. She told how she used just about every phallic shaped household object she could find as a dildo. She also told about her kinky side.

It seems while she was in college she would sit in the parking lot and fuck herself with a "D" cell Maglight. While she masturbated it really turned her on to watch the other students walk by, sometimes right beside the door of her pickup truck. She said she did this not once but on a regular basis.

Clearly this was someone that Paula could tell of her sexual desire. So one day during their almost daily sex talks she mentioned she found Dianne sexy. To Paula’s surprise Dianne reciprocated and told her she was sexually attracted to Paula as well. Now although Dianne is obviously masculine and had been derisively called dyke since she was a teenager, she had never actually had a relationship with a woman. Paula had as a girl been sexual with several other girls but despite her desires to do so, she had never done anything sexual with a female since then. Unlike Dianne she had no shame about her attraction to women’s bodies but told Dianne that she had not acted upon that desire since she was a pre-teen.

For over a month there was this sexual tension. Of course it was also a moral tension because Paula was the wife of a well known Christian leader who spoke throughout the region in churches that flatly condemn all extra-marital sex; and Dianne was a deacon's wife and leader in her conservative church. Although I had been teaching a more accepting view of Christianity for over five years, it had been more theoretical than practical. It had been at least that long since in sermons, lessons or counseling sessions I had told anyone that sex outside of marriage was inherently sinful. Rather I taught that it could be sinful if it were abusive, disrespectful or based on dishonesty. Most of my work was with high school teens, and still I was careful not to either blanketly condone or condemn teen sex. With Paula deeply longing for sex with Dianne, and by extension with her husband Tom as well, we had to do some serious soul (and scripture) searching regarding what was right for us.

In the early spring of 1997 two events happened on one weekend that put these questions to rest. Tom decided that we all ought to have the kids sleep over and the adults play strip poker while they were asleep. Paula, Dianne and I thought his suggestion was rather juvenile; but, since he seemed to have his heart set on it, we all agreed. By the time we started the game it was rather late. The game itself was less than satisfying. It just didn’t feel comfortable or natural. But it was fascinating to see our friends nude and a little exciting to get naked in front of them. I'm not sure what we were expecting next. As it happened Dianne laid down on the floor beside Paula and Tom brought her to orgasm via oral sex. This was not what we expected. Our friends seemed to be completely comfortable having sex right in front of us. We were mesmerized. They continued on with Dianne getting to her knees to bend over the seat of the couch right beside Paula. We watched wide eyed as Tom pressed his erection into his wife. Yes, we'd been watching explicit sex videos for several years by then, but this was totally different. Our friends were having full sex right beside us. And they went on and on.

The strip poker had not been enjoyable, but watching them have sex for the next hour was simply amazing.

Later after we got home both Paula and I agreed that watching our best friends have sex right next to us was unbelievably erotic. Although Dianne was not as attractive as Paula (of course Paula would dispute this) she was unbelievable to watch in action. I can’t describe the way she made love except using the word “showmanship”. Her moves were fluid and graceful when she made oral love to Tim's penis. I had seen many videos of women giving head but she was better to watch than any I’d ever seen. When she pushed him to the floor and mounted him she fucked with her whole body. It was a sight to behold. It was so good to watch Paula and I were rather intimidated and when it came our turn we could not relax and hurried through a rather joyless act.

For weeks after we talked continually about how much we liked watching them. We still have a video we made of them having sex, and I’m still amazed at how good she is to watch. Additionally, Tom was able to climax and maintain his erection. That first night we saw him ejaculate twice. Later on we would see him cum as much as five times in two hours. The other significant event actually happened the day before all this, though I didn’t know until we went home that night. It seems that Paula and Dianne made the first step toward making love. She never gave me details, but during the afternoon Paula and Dianne began kissing and touching each other's breasts. First through their clothes and then they reached under the other’s bra’s. Paula told me that she had really enjoyed it and wanted to go further with it, but was not ready.

Over the next six weeks their sexual explorations expanded, eventually to full Sapphic sex, which Paula took to with abandon. The frequency of their sexual times together also increased. By mid-summer, they were spending more than an hour in bed, several times per week. By fall it had become a routine part of our life.

Sometimes after the kids were down for the night she would go over to Dianne and Tim' house. She would watch them have sex then make it with Dianne (or visa- versa) then she would come home and tell me what had happened as we made love. One memorable night she came home with a grin and snuggled up and told me how she joined Dianne in giving Tom oral sex. She told me how they had licked his cock together, and then Paula had taken over and given him long and hard head. I was so turned on. I French kissed her knowing in that very mouth was another man’s penis just an hour before. She told me that she had decided she wanted Tom to fuck her. She wanted to know if I was really OK with that. I said I was and told her that I looked forward to her coming home and eating her out when it tasted like his semen. Some time before I had already found that I liked to eat Paula right after I had ejaculated into her. I honestly told her that the idea of going down on her when she tasted of Tim's semen was a very exciting prospect.

However, that did not come to pass. A week later Paula had a had a fight with Tom about him being too pushy. That was the end of her desire to have full sex with him. She never let him fuck her, even though Dianne directly asked her to do so on several occasions.

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